Just a little up front warning. In this context I just can’t/won’t capitalize the word god, I am so sorry if that offends you. Try to see it from an atheist’s point of view, having had the big “G” god pushed in her face all her life. I used to physically stiffen at the word. So just take a deep breath and read on and you can have your say and include all the capital G’s you want in the comments. ;-)
I was thinking of this when Wolf Blitzer asked the woman in Oklahoma if she thanked god for being saved from the tornado. “Do you, do you, do you, huh?” he pressed.
I wondered if she thanked god for being saved, did it stand to reason that it was then ok for people to curse god who had lost loved ones, the folks who god didn’t save.
While this was ruminating in my brain I saw a movie called “Rabbit Hole”. In one scene
Nicole Kidman’s character is in a support group for people who have lost their children. A couple whose son had died of leukemia was sharing with the group. The man said it must have been god’s will. The woman said god must have needed more angels.
Nicole Kidman sort of lost it then and asked if god needed more angels why didn’t he just make them. Poof she said as she snapped her fingers. Just make more angels.
I liked that part.
Then I saw a church sign that said “Don’t pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back.”
What!?!? What kind of god is this? What’s wrong with wanting a lighter load?
Cancer can sometimes affect a person’s belief in religion. Gilda’s Club has workshops where folks can gather and talk about their anger, disappointment, acceptance, hope, and other feelings that revolve around their spirituality.
One of my best friends, a lifelong atheist, found religion after being diagnosed with cancer. She was a militant atheist too, bumper stickers on her car, buttons on her lapel.
I don’t get it. How can you believe that god will cure you of your cancer and not believe god caused your cancer?
I’m not a militant atheist. No bumper stickers or buttons for me, it’s just the way I was raised and the way I’ve always lived my life. That didn’t change with cancer. I believe in science.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t have hope, it just means that my hope doesn’t come from religion.
I remember one funny thing right after I was first diagnosed with cancer and a Nurse Navigator was sent in to help me, well, navigate my treatment I guess. She had been told I was not doing standard treatments, that I was opting for less invasive, more natural treatments.
Somehow she took that to mean I was religious. I have never been able to figure that one out but she started talking about the trinity to me. I had no idea what that meant and kept wondering what Star Wars had to do with cancer?
So that’s me. I didn’t really lose my religion because I didn’t have one to begin with. What about you? Did your diagnosis shake your faith? Strengthen it? How does it help you cope? Or does it?
Monday Night Cancer Club is a Daily Kos group focused on dealing with cancer, primarily for cancer survivors and caregivers, though clinicians, researchers, and others with a special interest are also welcome. Volunteer diarists post Monday evenings between 7-8 PM ET on topics related to living with cancer, which is very broadly defined to include physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive aspects. Mindful of the controversies endemic to cancer prevention and treatment, we ask that both diarists and commenters keep an open mind regarding strategies for surviving cancer, whether based in traditional, Eastern, Western, allopathic or other medical practices. This is a club no one wants to join, in truth, and compassion will help us make it through the challenge together.