Want to be a saint—it's easy! First be a Pope, and then another Pope will fast-track you to sainthood — it's the Catholic way! And the Church knows a thing or two about saints; they have one for just about every color of the rainbow. Trusting
"as ever when we unweave a rainbow, it will not become less wonderful."Sainthood, in Catholic terms, is always posthumous. And generally a 500-plus year gap between death and final recognition is the norm, thus allowing time, of course, for the dust to settle. Or at least that is how it has traditionally been done, since the Vatican took control of saint-making in the 13th century. However, Pope's definitely get fast-tracked—nothing like being 'in' with the 'in' crowd.
And you've got your choice with these two former Popes just canonized by Pope Francis; Pope John Paul II—the conservative, and John XXIII—the so-called liberal. Yes sir, with Pope Francis' picks you can't go wrong—or maybe not! John Paul, of course, being the unwavering defender of birth control, the Catholic way, of course — pull-out before ejaculation; as well as being the Church's enforcer against a woman's right to choose. It always struck me as odd that these womanless (sans families) Catholic prelates had such an intense interest in the affairs of women—somewhat akin to the Republican legislators' obsession with vaginas.
Then there's Pope John XXIII — what's not to like — bubbly and full of smiles; obviously well fed too. But then again he, as his later successor John Paul, was also critical of abortion, contraception, artificial insemination, divorce and the ordination of homosexual seminarians. Obviously, shades of the exploding pedophilia scandals, which Pope John Paul fully addressed—well, maybe not (see 2nd link below—The Errant Church).
How many miracles are needed to make a saint? Fortunately, you're only required to perform 2; you need 1 to be classed as 'blessed' and then the 2nd makes you almost an official saint. But getting your miracle approved as a miracle can be rather tough; unless, of course, you know a Pope. Pope Francis approved the 2nd miracle needed to canonize Pope John Paul II; however, since he didn't have that 2nd miracle at the ready for Pope John XXIII, Francis thought for sure that it would come anyway, and thusly waived Vatican rules for John—blessed be the infallibility of Popes!
Of course, we all need a miracle every now and then as poor old Fred MacMurray in 'The Miracle of the Bells', who wrote all those bad checks, which are about to bounce, as he convincingly says to saintly pastor Francis (Sinatra), 'Don't take the light out of your parishioners' faces—they saw the angel statues move as well', they need a miracle too—don't they!
The Errant Church—Approximately 6,000 pages of records detailing decades of child sexual abuse by Roman Catholic priests; a sweeping, searing encyclopedia of crime and 'insufficient' punishment.