Go through proper channels, be polite, don't be dickish, sit up straight, don't wolf your breakfast. Salad fork is on the left.
Raise your hand before speaking. Don't speak unless you're called on. If we don't call on you, then shut the fuck up.
You're not a whistleblower unless we say you are. Give me that fucking whistle.
You're not an actual journalist unless you've ridden on Joe Biden's tire swing.
If you've done or said anything objectionable in the past, everything you will ever say or do in the future is invalid and not worth listening to.
What's that you say? There's a tsunami bearing down on us and we will drown any second?
You didn't raise your hand, you didn't go through proper channels, I don't like your tone, and by the way, Glenn Beck also saw the tsunami, so you must be lying! Besides, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, gargle, gargle, gargle....