From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Yeah. This Monday Doth Kinda Sucketh.
As we start a new week, a reminder of the ground rules that made the rounds on twitter starting Saturday night:
Don't be black in Florida.
Don't be a woman in Texas.
Don't be poor in America.
I'll add one: Don't be a human being in the world who misses seeing a 16 year-old girl make some of the biggest assholes on the planet look like the prehistoric parasites they are, as Malala Yousafzai did to the Taliban Friday (and more diplomatically than I just did):
"There are hundreds of human rights activists and social workers who are not only speaking for their rights, but who are struggling to achieve their goal of peace, education and equality. Thousands of people have been killed by the terrorists and millions have been injured. I am just one of them. So here I stand, one girl, among many. I speak not for myself, but so those without a voice can be heard. Those who have fought for their rights. Their right to live in peace. Their right to be treated with dignity. Their right to equality of opportunity. Their right to be educated.
Dear friends, on 9 October 2012, the Taliban shot me on the left side of my forehead. They shot my friends, too. They thought that the bullets would silence us, but they failed. And out of that silence came thousands of voices. The terrorists thought they would change my aims and stop my ambitions. But nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born."
You can
read Malala's speech in full here. And contemplate how many of the themes she so beautifully expresses resonate in this country, especially after the events over the weekend.
Other than that, welcome to a new week. Don’t forget your lunch and look both ways before crossing the internet.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Note: Due to paving, the internet will be down to one lane today. We regret the incon…[Buffering].…[Buffering].…[Buffering]….venience.
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Four days!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til
National Caviar Day:
3
Days 'til the
Yarmouth Clam Festival:
4
Hours of training required to be a commercial pilot or co-pilot:
1,500
Percent change in the number of Walmart stores since 2008:
13%
Change in Walmart's workfore since then:
0%
(Source: Harper's Index)
Rank of "noise," "pets" and "trash/clutter" among most common neighbor disputes:
#1, #2, #3
(Source: FindLaw.com via
USA Today)
Old and new shelf life of Twinkies, which are back in stores now:
25 days, 45 days
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Smart pooch…
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JEERS to a surefire way to ruin a Saturday night. By now you know that Trayvon Martin's killer got off without so much as a slap on the wrist over the weekend. Sucks. The details surrounding this 17 year-old's death and its contorted path through the legal system has been racked with problems---police incompetence, prosecutors who didn’t take off the gloves, "stand your ground laws" that encourage lawlessness, a justice system deeply stacked against the black community---but the jury itself probably doesn't deserve an onslaught of brickbats, as legal eagle Jonathan Turley explains:
Times Square last night during the
March and protest in New York City.
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Even for manslaughter, the jury had to find that George Zimmerman intentionally committed an act or acts that caused the death of Trayvon Martin, but was told that “a killing that is excusable or was committed by the use of justifiable deadly force is lawful.” The jury instruction on deadly force states in part: “A person is justified in using deadly force if he reasonably believes that such force is necessary to prevent imminent death or great bodily harm to himself.”
That lesser charge still brings the jury back to the question of who started the fight and how the fight unfolded. The prosecutors never had evidence to answer that question in a reasonably definitive way. In the end, the jury had no serious alternative to acquittal. That does not mean that they liked Zimmerman or his actions. It does not even mean that they believed Zimmerman. It means that they could not convict a man based on a presumption of guilt.
Right now, as angry but peaceful marches flow through city streets across America (big one last night in New York City) and social and cable media stir the pot, the Justice Department
weighs its options. And that's about all I can write at this point. The rest is just a string of cuss words.
CHEERS to anticipation. This could be a BIG day. William and Kate (okay, mostly Kate) may birth a bouncing baby blueblood, and Harry Reid may decide how he's going to change the Senate rules to help curb rampant Republican filibuster abuse. There will be crying, flying spittle, poopy drawers and lots of general fussiness. And I'm sure that'll also be the case with William and Kate's baby.
CHEERS to pleasant surprises. Forty-two years ago, on July 15, 1971, President Nixon caused a stir when he announced he was leavin' on a jet plane to visit China wearing nothing but argyle socks and a cape. His mission: "To find the golden bedpan of the Yangtze and use it to smite my enemies." Fortunately Pat was there to lock him in the bedroom until he sobered up.
JEERS to junk mail. More evidence has turned up proving that Maine Governor Paul Le Vaseline---a walking, talking tea party dream date---is as crude and dumb as he looks. After losing a fight for unnecessary changes to policies allowing military recruiters in high schools, he not only made false accusations against the principal of Yarmouth High School, he pulled out his poison quill and fired off bizarre letters to the homes of Democratic legislators. This is one of 'em:
"Wow! I have not seen or heard such disregard for our men and women in military since the Viet Nam era. I thought that mind set had long ago died off. Shameful behavior from the past showing its ugly head again."
The recipient of that fuck-you letter is Rep. Charles Priest, who happens to be a Vietnam vet and winner of the Bronze Star. LePage, of course, has no plans to issue an apology. Because cowards cut and run, but idiots just double down.
CHEERS to 20/20 foresight. On July 15, 1948, President Harry Truman accepted the nomination for another term at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia with these prescient words: "We are now the defenders of the stronghold of democracy and of equal opportunity---the haven of the ordinary people of this land and not of the favored classes or the powerful few." Well, it was nice while it lasted.
VIRTUAL TEARS to the end of an internet buggy whip. Search engine AltaVista went dark on Monday. If you don’t believe me, go Google it.
JEERS to Vatican vitriol. 808 years ago today, on July 15, 1205, Pope Innocent III decreed that Jews would be doomed to perpetual servitude and subjugation because they killed Jesus. His pronouncement was immediately followed by: "Ow! Who threw that?!!"
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Five years ago in C&J: July 15, 2008
CHEERS to the last days of the "Last Honest Man." Finally, some serious-sounding rumblings that indicate Joe Lieberman is about to lose his grip on power. Via Bob Novak:
Before dating McCain,
Lieberman wooed Bush.
Democratic insiders are certain that Sen. Joseph Lieberman will be kicked out of the party’s caucus next year and lose his Senate chairmanship if he addresses the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., as planned. Lieberman’s Democratic colleagues willing to accept his support of Sen. John McCain for president consider his speaking to the GOP convention as the last straw.
And make sure you get old Tinkletoes' bathroom key. Guy never did know how to flush.
[7/15/13 Update: Of course they didn't touch Lieberman, who remained a turncoat to the end of his reign. But at least comity in the Senate was maintained. Go ahead…roll your eyes.]
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And just one more…
JEERS to…previews of coming attractions? Even satire is having a tough time keeping up with all the crap these days, but Andy Borowitz still figures out a way, as he reacts to the new Texas abortion restrictions law:
AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report)—Republican lawmakers in the Texas State Senate are proposing a precedent-setting new bill that would make it illegal for women to live in the state.
Senator Harland Dorrinson, one of the many pro-life lawmakers backing the woman ban, crafted his bill after witnessing Senator Wendy Davis filibuster an anti-abortion bill last month.
“That was our moment to say, ‘Enough is enough,’ ” he said. “This comes down to a choice between life and women, and we choose life.” Senator Dorrinson said his bill would call for a twenty-foot woman-proof fence to be constructed along the borders of the state. …
But another G.O.P. state senator, Cal Jamson, believes that the total ban on women goes “too far” and is proposing a less draconian bill that would allow some women to remain in the state as guest workers.
Yes, because let's not get crazy.
Have a nice Monday. Or a crappy one. We're all about options here. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
NASA can prove it now. Our solar system has a tail, just like Bill in Portland Maine.
---AP
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