GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left out.
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I think all of us have experienced this phenomenon at least once in our lives: one unpleasant event is followed almost immediately by another, and yet another, and before we know it, they seem to be raining down on us in a crazy, uncontrolled torrent of negativity. "Bad things come in threes" turns into "it never rains but it pours."
And us without our umbrellas.
When this sort of thing happens, rationally or not, we sometimes get that "what have I done to deserve this?" feeling. We suspect we're being tested. We even look for patterns where there often are none: sometimes these perfect storms of suck just happen, for no good reason.
And it's not always in our imagination, either. There may in fact be a sort of domino effect going on, times when one negative event triggers another, and that one leaves us vulnerable to the next, and so on and so on. This can make it harder (or even downright impossible) to cope if one or more of those events leaves us too physically, mentally, emotionally or financially exhausted to deal with each subsequent blow.
When it starts pouring like this, our coping mechanisms get a real---and usually unwelcome---work-out. Our stress levels go off the charts. We often feel blindsided by the sheer accumulation of awfulness, and end up feeling as through we'd been hit by a bus.
This scenario can leave even the most resilient individuals reeling. Those of us with a good safety net and lots of resources, supportive family and friends, a level head and calm-in-a-crisis demeanor can still be thrown by these suckstorms ("Suckstorm! Coming soon to the Syfy Channel!").
If we're momentarily vulnerable, for whatever reason, the fallout can be devastating. As those of us coping with longstanding financial, medical, or emotional distress, or dealing with inherently stressful temporary situations (job-hunting, moving, and behavioral change involving addiction definitely count!) already know, it's all too easy to become overwhelmed.
So what do we do? Embrace the suck? Throw our hands in the air and give in to the deluge?
Not exactly.
Recognizing what's going on is part of the battle. Just naming it and sorting it out into a bunch of finite problems to be addressed is a good start. Dealing with a Suckstorm (seriously, I'm going to trademark that before Syfy ends up making a zillion dollars with a TV movie featuring bad CGI mutant leeches and a deadly hurricane threatening Miami) means realizing that it's not one big wall of suck, but a series of individual sucky circumstances that can be tackled (or come to terms with) one at a time.
The other part---one that's often harder for people---is figuring out how and when to ask for help. Enlisting others to help mitigate the suckage is usually a good move. Crowdsourcing your problems (asking for advice, finding people willing to provide support and encouragement, leveraging their expertise and experience) can fast-track things and let the storm pass more quickly.
It's easy to let a Suckstorm™ derail your efforts or even your life, but it doesn't have to go down that way. Figuring out ways to ride things out, with a little help from your friends (and family, and colleagues, and community, and clinicians if need be), can make all the difference. It might be a little messy for a while, but the results will be worth it.
Who's Your Little Buddy?
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