From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
This isn't mine. But I like it.
Before Black Presidents:I wonder how the "Before Female Presidents..." list will read.
• The debt ceiling was raised SEVENTY-FOUR times without incident. SEVENTY-FOUR TIMES.
• A POTUS could tax the rich at 91% and be called a Republican---not a socialist!• Middle names were irrelevant.Also: babies weren't typically allowed
to pinch the president's cheeks.
• "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" was law and pre-existing condition exclusions were here to stay.
• Deliberately sabotaging economic recovery was not considered a legitimate option for the opposition party.
• No one screamed "You lie!" at the president during a speech to Congress.
• People with 3rd grade educations didn't constitute a political movement.
• Being a community organizer was noble and honorable.
• If you tried to bring the U.S. to its knees you were a terrorist. Now you’re just Republican.
• Filibusters were the exception. Not the rule.
• Exercise was good and we got medals for it but now exercise is an evil, socialist plot.
• Presidents did not have to show the their birth certificate to Donald Trump.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, July 25, 2013
Note: Just a heads-up that there will be no C&J tomorrow evening, although our "Who Won the Week?" poll may pop up in the diaries at some point. Our apologies to our west-coast readers. I'll make it up to you by posting a profanity-and-gunfire-laced You Tube tirade against the east-coast jerkwads. Back Monday.
Note #2: East coasters: please do not read Note #1.
as possum does.
Days 'til President Obama's 52nd birthday: 10
Days 'til the Wausau Possum Festival in FL: 9
Rank of Connecticut among states with the most unmarked police cars: #1
Rank of Massachusetts among most expensive states to fight a speeding ticket: #1
(Source: Bold Ride)
Percent of Americans who disapprove of the job Congress is doing: 83%
(Source: NBC News/WSJ poll)
Percent of the world's Catholics who are in South America: 39%
Age at which females and males, respectively, can get legally married in New Hampshire (the lowest in the country): 13, 14
Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
This…brings up the interesting role of coincidence in the life of Gov. Goodhair. Last summer, the Guv appointed an Enron executive to the state's Public Utilities Commission and, the next day, Perry got a check for $25,000 from Ken Lay. He explained this, to everyone's satisfaction, as being "totally coincidental." The unhappy Enron exec later had to resign after dauntless sleuths in the press discovered the governor's office trying to cover up -- with White Out---the fact that the appointee had accidentally shot a whooping crane some years back. While on a goose hunt. Don't tell me Texas politics isn't more fun than all that boring stuff in civics textbook---and besides, your civics textbook gets edited by some of the dippiest people in Texas politics.-
Puppy Pic of the Day: For breakfast: fuzzy frog legs…
JEERS to things that make Standard & Poor's jump out of windows. House Republicans suck. How do I know they suck? Because they're House Republicans, and what House Republicans do is suck:
Setting the stage for a fall showdown over raising the nation’s debt ceiling, House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, renewed on Tuesday his insistence that “we're not going to raise the debt ceiling without real cuts in spending. It's as simple as that.” […] “I believe the so-called Boehner Rule is the right formula for getting that done,” he later added, referring to the eponymous rule matching new debt authority with spending cutsAnother good old-fashioned hostage situation. Just one problem for Boehner's gang: this time around, they're the hostages. Should we tell 'em now or surprise 'em in the fall?
CHEERS to compassionate conservatism. Twenty three years ago, President George H.W. Bush signed the Americans with Disabilities Act. He didn't want anything to stand between his son and the White House.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Some asshole on Twitter asks: Is the One Word Answer Man the Stupidest Thing in Cheers and Jeers?
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
JEERS to Anthony's predickament. Yesterday I promised that the only Anthony Weiner information i'd mention in C&J would be limited to polls, debates, or his self-immolation, and otherwise I'd ignore him in favor of either singing dogs or craaaazy cats. To that end, here's today's Anthony Weiner update:
Next time: A bassett hound nails Ave Maria.
CHEERS to finding true (state-mandated-under-penalty-of-forced-labor) love. Aww, don’t ya just love it when ruthless dictators get twitterpated? That was the big story coming out of North Korea one year ago, when Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un married Ri Sol-Ju after realizing that his biological clock was ticking ticking ticking. This year they exchanged the traditional on-year anniversary gifts. Hers to him: pearl cufflinks and a renewal of his Netflix account. His to her: the launch of a test rocket that will one day be packed with nuclear warheads capable of killing millions. [Sniff] That's amore.
Five years ago in C&J: July 25, 2008
And just one more…
CHEERS to Bush gone badass. It's a rare feat for a Republican president who's been out of office for twenty years to up his coolness quotient at the doorstep of 90. Off the top of my head I can think of only two: Herbert Hoover doing the mashed potato for 36 hours on American Bandstand and Gerald Ford pulling a party barge across Lake Michigan with his teeth. Well, now you can add George H.W. Bush to the list. First he did those birthday skydives in his 80s. And now he's shaved his head to show his support for a child belonging to a member of his security detail. Two-year-old Patrick suffers from leukemia, and what the old man did is pretty badass:
Have a follicle-friendly Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:-
"We've displeased Bill in Portland Maine, and the earth is going to answer."
---Prophet of Doom Cindy Jacobs