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I had a little bit of surplus cash squirreled away from abstaining from the finer things in life - soda, non-tap water, etc. - so I did a few things with the surplurs, like my most recent little humor charity drive here on Dkos.  So then, my civic duty discharged, my testicles just has to throw in their two kilograms so I ended up going to the San Manul Indian casino in the East Empire.  

First thing about San Manuel, it's way out out of the way, but that doesn't mean it's easy to get to: It's very easy to get lost in the San Bernardino morass.  Once you get there, the casino and the parking garage are widely spearated, and the interior of the garage was designed by abstract artist with no sense of rational traffic flow.  Fortunately you eventually get to park and then spend 20 minutes wandinerg the garage looking for the way out toward the casino.  I will say this;  It's a nice, open, and tranquil garage with the breezes from outside passing through.  One feels a sense of caramaderie with the elderly, overly-zaftig Latina ladies and elderly people who compromise the majority of patrons.

The slidewalk is nice given the distances involved.  You walk to at least twice your natural speed while the scenery flashes by at twice the normal parallalax.  It can be disorienting if you let it, but otherwise it's invigorating.  I wish we would walk like that everywhere, all the time.

At the door to the casino is a cop who no longer cards me, but had carded me the past two times I'd been there last year.  Ah, life change.  There are two stories to the casino, both equally large and labyrinthine.  Don't waste your time for the 2nd floor.   It might have things I wasn't looking for, but it definitely didn't have what I was.  Plus there are a lot of good eateries on the first floor and clearly-marked restrooms.

But I was looking for one specific machine, for which there are only four in the entire casino - video roulette.  There was a real roulette table, but somehow the idea of other people seeing my shame at losing was not desirable.  I'd rather win silently in private, or lose dismally in private.  I had a system that wasn't foolproof by any stretch of the imagination, but worked as long as you kept yourself in control and didn't act on impulse to post the wrong bets or risk too much or play too long.  In other words, you find wehere you end up moderately in the black, and that's when you quit.  It works.  It always works for me.  Excpet when I fuck it up and end up listening to my balls instead of my brain.  THe way it's supposed to work, and the way I had worked it before, is that would very slowly build up a 39% profit margin or lower and then I'd leave.

This time I had mentally regressed a bit to high school for some reason.  I saw that I had $150 and instead of thinking, "Mission Accomplished," I imagine that I could do more with it - imagined what it would look like to put it all on the 1st 3rd and imagined having the machine give me $300 more dollars.  Now I know what gamble junkies mean - I could taste the sex of the play. Wasn't much rational thought involved, just holy shit is going to be awesome.  The word "if" is nowhere to be heard in this degraded thinking.  So I rolled and busted the whole wad.  Just kind sat there like a deflated chump briefly. They should really offer free hugs from the more anatomically gifted waitresses for people who bust.  That would have been comforting.

Blah.  Guess I'll have to sell a bunch of vintange NES videogames to make up the difference.

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Comment Preferences

  •  I tried video roulette (5+ / 0-)

    Didn't have any idea what I was doing, so I won ☺ ($250). Generally, I'll risk about $20 on a quarter slot. If I get to 60 or more I quit and go have a beer. I may try again after the beer which inevitable means I lose the 20 bucks.

  •  OOOooopppsie! (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Troubadour, palantir, Larsstephens

    "Ev'ry day about sunset
    In comes the King of Roulette
    He cashes great big stacks of chips
    Ev'ry time he bets
    Then one time, feeling extra fine
    he put the whole mess down on Red
    It came up double Zero
    His luck had just gone dead."
    (NRBQ)

    If I ran this circus, things would be DIFFERENT!

    by CwV on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 05:55:42 PM PDT

  •  how I gave up gambling in 2 easy steps (9+ / 0-)

    1. In college, playing acey-deucey. One pile had a deuce on top, the other a king. The pot was $41, a large sum for a youngster in those days. I bet it all and was greeted with a king, meaning I owed double. If $41 was a lot then you can imagine my shock at not only not getting that but, in fact, owing $82 to the pot.

    2. Shortly after leaving college I found myself at Santa Anita Racetrack in California. I bet $2 on a horse in the first race and lost. I bet $2 on a horse in the 2nd race and lost. By the 9th race I was putting money on longshots based on the names of the horses, hoping to get back to even. Needless to say, I lost every bet.

    I was lucky, I think. I found out early that I wasn't going to make money at that sort of thing.

    Dear NSA: I am only joking.

    by Shahryar on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 06:00:07 PM PDT

  •  My problem with gambling is it (8+ / 0-)

    involves my money, which I could spend on something fun.  I guess I was never cursed with a belief I could win.  

    Fun story, though.  We used to go Vegas in the 80's for trade shows, and once as witnesses for dear friends getting married there.  We took them to Delmonicos for a fantastic wedding dinner, which was dreadful, expensive and the service was trollish.  My husband asked to have 2 dinners taken off the bill.  2 large thugs appeared, looked threatening, and he asked to be taken to the owner.  40 minutes later he came back, tossed a $20 chip to me and said "Win big, this is all we got."  I put it on a number at the roulette table behind us and won $720.  

    We walked out laughing and cheering and bought ourselves fun stuff as prizes.  I got red and purple boots I loved idiotically and wore until they fell apart.  Never gambled again.  That was cosmic justice IMO.  Never gonna happen again!

    I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

    by I love OCD on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 06:07:40 PM PDT

  •  Never Had the Bug; I Have to Remember to Buy (5+ / 0-)

    lotto tickets and then remember to see if they won.

    Had an uncle who often went to Vegas and he had a well disciplined system. He'd budget himself $X to spend on a trip, and once that was used up --if he wasn't winning or holding his own-- that was it for the gambling.

    I'm pretty sure he stuck to semi-skill games so he occasionally came back in the black, and often came back under budget.

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 06:11:58 PM PDT

    •  Gambling As Entertainment (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Troubadour

      Your uncle approached gambling with the proper frame of mind.  He set the "price" he was willing to pay for the experience and looked elsewhere when he had payed his "price."  Unfortunately, some folks approach the experience looking for the thrill and just knowing that they will win, statistics and analysis notwithstanding.

      "Love the Truth, defend the Truth, speak the Truth, and hear the Truth" - Jan Hus, d.1415 CE

      by PrahaPartizan on Thu Aug 08, 2013 at 06:43:56 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Passed through Vegas but spent the night (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Troubadour, worldlotus, OldSoldier99

    we were en route from a seismic survey in El Centro headed for Tonopah or something. Twenty five of us, mostly under 30 years old with petro per diem in our pockets. I think I was the only one that didn't gamble and the only one that didn't lose every penny they had. General manager had to give advances so people could eat until payday.

    Wife lost a quarter once in Central City. Just played one game.

    “Conservation… is a positive exercise of skill and insight, not merely a negative exercise of abstinence and caution…” Aldo Leopold

    by ban nock on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 06:21:51 PM PDT

  •  I am not a gambler of the casino type: (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    worldlotus, Troubadour

    I played quarter craps (a learning type game) until I had lost a dollar. I then went to sit with a friends at a 21 table, bet one hand, won my dollar back and that was the end of my gambling that weekend.

    Usually what I will do is get $20 of some coin, play the slots (back in the day when they paid out actual coinage when you won), put my winnings in a pocket on the opposite side from where I kept my "gambling" money and when that pocket was empty, I quit. I either broke even or lost.

    I consider my $20 my entertainment for a few hours or so. It is money I can afford to lose. I never gamble with money I can't afford to lose.

    I reject your reality and substitute my own - Adam Savage

    by woolibaar on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 06:40:17 PM PDT

  •  A lot of people find this odd, (3+ / 0-)

    but I am a table games dealer, and have never gambled in my life.

    I can deal any game there is, but have never played any of them on the other side of the table. I figure I am one of the few people on Earth that knows for an absolute fact that when I enter a casino, I am leaving with more money than I went in with, and just can't imagine giving any of it back.

    "It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion." Oscar Wilde, 1891

    by MichiganGirl on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 07:19:16 PM PDT

  •  I go about once a year (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Troubadour

    It is fun - I bring my $100 and expect to lose it all, but hopefully it takes a while.  Basically I chalk it up to my entertainment for the evening.  I love to play craps because for the most part you can play for quite a while before it is all gone.

  •  Brilliant work (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Troubadour

    Write up that San Bernardino morass sometime, it sounds like it could sound awesomer than it is.

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