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actual letter w/ hyperlinks available here:
http://danbojangles.wordpress.com/...

Dear Humanity,

I know — you’re expecting me to say, “OMG, y’all — I’m so sorry for my twerk heard ’round the world,” but..I’m not.  I’m just not.  I’m a 20 year old kid, with some singing ability, an attractive enough physique, and a care-free attitude, who’s paid to walk out onto a stage, and twerk it!  I did just that.  I twerked.  Guilty as charged.   I twerked all up on the guy in the “Beetlejuice suit.”  I twerked in the Smith family’s face.  I twerked on national television.  I twerked the world — and I liked it!  I twerked, and I’ll do it again!  I’m NOT sorry.  Well, that’s not entirely accurate.  I’m very sorry, but not for my absolutely harmless rump-shakin’.

It’s like this…  I’m a star.  As a young Hollywood celebrity, I want, need, as much publicity as possible.  It’s how I remain relevant in a business always looking for younger, prettier, sexier…wilder.  I knew, when I slid into my skin-tight, gold-colored booty shorts, with intent to twerk, that publicity was headin’ my way.  Not because “twerkin” is so shocking, but because I’m “Hannah Montana” — daughter of be-mulleted heartthrob, Billy Ray Cyrus!  I expected “publicity” because my “act” would crystallize my “Disney Girl Gone Bad (read: adult)” transformation, like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Lindsay Lohan before me!  And when I say “publicity,” I’m not talking about your TMZ, and Perez Hilton coverage…I’m talkin’ national coverage!  Well — I got it.

I’m so sorry, humanity.

I’m sorry that I allowed myself to be used as a complete, and utter, distraction from the criminality that’s passing as discourse for American foreign policy proposals.  I’m sorry that, for days on end, CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News ceaselessly shoved my fleshy tush into your faces, and convinced you it was necessary to form an opinion AT THE EXPENSE of forming an opinion about the legality/morality of US intervention in the Syrian civil war.  I’m dreadfully sorry that my desire to shake my image (and booty) has become THE MOST pressing national discussion, at a time when our President decides whether to unilaterally, and without NECESSARY Congressional approval, rain down cruise missiles upon a nation that poses ZERO risk to the safety our nation (as stipulated as a requirement in the War Powers Resolution).  You know what’s easier to talk about than whether President Obama is planning to violate the Constitution by making war with Syria?  A 20 year old Disney star who twerked before a nation that’s skillfully shuffled from distraction to distraction.  :-/

If the United States intervenes, and drops “humanitarian” bombs on Syria, innocent people will die.  They’ll be as innocent as the nearly two hundred children slaughtered in US drone strikes.  As innocent as the civilian first responders killed in “double tap” drone strikes.  As innocent as the 500 thousand to 1 million Iraqi children under 5 who died as a result of US sanctions.  As innocent as the scores of sickened, and disfigured, souls who’ve been (knowingly) exposed to radioactive depleted uranium munitions.  As innocent as the victims of the gassing attack, for which the United States is suddenly compelled to fight a war.

I’m afraid that Syria is a mess.  The poor, innocent people of Syria are trapped between two (actually myriad) well-armed factions, intent on killing.  Even if America possessed the moral authority to intervene — it couldn’t pick a “winner.”  I feel all I can do, as a conscious, peace-loving human being, is pray for peace, and urge our “leaders” to push for a ceasefire.  We simply can’t solve this problem with bombs.

I’m certain my 5 second twerk at the MTV VMA’s didn’t warrant the attention it’s received.  For that, I feel like a chump.  It reminds me of a lyric from the 2pac song, “Changes“

“I made a G today” But you made it in a sleazy way.

This whole scenario is “sleazy,” but I want to do my part to make this right.  For my role as a distraction from the actual, significant, non-twerking news of the world, I’m genuinely sorry.  To the innocent people of Syria, who will surely perish at the hands of US “humanitarian” bombs, I’m so sorry.  To the American public, who will bear the brunt of future terror attacks resulting from yet another iteration of US foreign policy meddling, I’m sorry for my role in diverting your attention away from a sorely needed national debate.  I’m sorry I didn’t speak out sooner, humanity.

There’s still time to make things right.  Share my letter, read the links, and call/tweet your Congressperson to DEMAND that they assert their authority on the issue of making war.  And.. most importantly..  it’s flapping skin — GET OVER IT!

Love,

Miley <3

Letter not actually penned by Miley Cyrus

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Comment Preferences

  •  I added "snark" to your tags. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    danbojangles

    Courage is contagious. - Daniel Ellsberg

    by semiot on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 10:42:07 AM PDT

  •  "Letter not actually penned by Miley Cyrus" (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    tytalus, Catte Nappe, stone clearing

    No sh*t.

    Happy little moron, Lucky little man.
    I wish I was a moron, MY GOD, Perhaps I am!
    —Spike Milligan

    by polecat on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 10:48:07 AM PDT

  •  I have seen very little criticism of Miley (5+ / 0-)

    ...that was not just a form of slut-shaming.

    Are you a Green who has difficulty telling Democrats and Republicans apart? Well, I have difficulty telling Greens and Maoists apart.

    by Subversive on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 10:58:01 AM PDT

    •  Oh, you're missing out (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Subversive

      There was the one that called her actions racist. That was amusing, to say the least.

      First they came for the farm workers, and I said nothing.

      by Hannibal on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:13:19 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Really? (4+ / 0-)

      How about that the performance was not appropriate for kids?   Because I think there's a lot of difference between slut-shaming and an acknowledgement that certain performances may not be appropriate for children.

      Is Cyndi Lauper a slut-shamer?

      That being said, of course women are held to a double standard when it comes to sexuality but in this case, you have a very young woman who is just coming out of a career pitched to kids.  It's awkward and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging it.  

      •  Let's be honest. (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Subversive, lostboyjim

        Is most of modern pop music really appropriate for kids?  We can dress it up anyway we want, but the reality is that a lot of rich, popular and successful pop stars are heavily sexual themselves.  And a lot of the songs played on top 40 radio are very sexual in their lyrics and the theme of the song itself.

        How many young kids sit in the car and sing "I'm sexy and I know it" or Rihanna's "S&M" or Katty Perry's "Friday Night" which is not only glamorizing threeways, but alcohol abuse and other bad behaviour.

        It is hypocritical for anyone to bash Miley Cyrus and accuse her of being inappropriate when she is doing the exact same thing almost everyone else is.  The only difference is she did it terribly.  If she would have put on a better show, instead of stumbling awkwardly around the stage like she just made up this routine 20 minutes before showtime, nobody would be saying anything.  

        If you don't believe me, remember when Brittney had her big "I'm an adult now" moment, ripping off her black suit and wearing barely anything underneath?  Then she got way more sexual and I think even writhed around with a snake?  Not really any different other than Brittney did it more professionally and put on a better show.  

        People aren't offended by Miley's performance, and anyone who says otherwise is a hypocrite.  They are offended by the lack of production values of her performance.

      •  Did you even notice the married man (0+ / 0-)

        who was part of this act? Now that's awkward.

        It takes two to twerk, and Cyrus doesn't need to be maritally faithful to anyone.

        I'm amazed by people's courage and kindness in the face of everything and life.

        by LaraJones on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 01:33:11 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  Is it right to put words into someone's mouth? ... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Deep Texan

    Does Miley Cyrus feel this way and is she a liberal or a conservative?

    I think the point could have been made better.

    Tax and Spend I can understand. I can even understand Borrow and Spend. But Borrow and give Billionaires tax cuts? That I have a problem with.

    by LiberalCanuck on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 10:59:48 AM PDT

    •  miley's pretty liberal (0+ / 0-)

      she's come out very vocally for marriage equality and she put together a video in support of the occupy movement.

      hope springs eternal and DAMN is she getting tired!

      by alguien on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:16:05 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I think the real point (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Deep Texan

      Is why the fuck does anybody care? It was a bit of mindless entertainment. Nobody was killed, or harmed in any way. It wasn't even particularly noteworthy, yet here we are. That's what's so fascinating about this sort of thing, to me. It's that people get so worked up about it. Whether it's Miley Cyrus' ass, or Ben Affleck being the next Batman.

      1st world problems.

      First they came for the farm workers, and I said nothing.

      by Hannibal on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:16:22 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  You think dirt poor people struggling to (3+ / 0-)

        find enough to eat don't argue over football(soccer)?

        People need distractions.  It's part of being human.

        The worst disservice is when the distractions and the real shit start getting conflated, when we start talking about politicians pets and hairstyles instead of their policies and donors.

        1) Bomb Syria 2)???????????? 3) Lives saved!!!!!!

        by JesseCW on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:21:11 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  Bait and switch diary (3+ / 0-)

    After your last diary debacle - and timeout - I'm amused you would even want to make another go at it.

    Guess you won't be satisfied until you see Bojo.

    •  That seems mean spirited. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      danbojangles

      So you didn't like the poster last diary.  Maybe you shouldn't read any of his/her diaries if you don't like what he/she has to say.  I thought it was amusing and made some good points.

      And who is Bojo?

      I don't want to be confrontational but why go out of your way to attack the poster?

      Can't we just drown Grover Norquist in a bathtub?

      by Rezkalla on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:52:20 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Um, yeah, this is a diarist who cross-posts (0+ / 0-)

        his diaries at the Ron Paul lovefest website, the dailypaul.com.

        This current diary is posted there right now.  Funny that the diarist didn't indicate that in the body of the diary.

        In other words, this diarist is a known paulbot.  

        I'm surprised he hasn't been bojo'd yet (um, bojo is another dkos term for "banned").

        •  Okay, but this diary is really partisan. (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          danbojangles, lostboyjim

          I don't see any right wing spin here.  So who cares if the poster has right wing ideas otherwise?  

          Anyway, I don't really care to debate it.  If others dislike him then fine.  I thought the article was humorous and had some insight.

          Can't we just drown Grover Norquist in a bathtub?

          by Rezkalla on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 03:17:57 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  thank you.. (0+ / 0-)

            The irony is.. the folks at DailyPaul who have a problem with this could JUST AS EASILY use the "edwardssl" argument..and attack me for cross-posting this article on "DailyKos."

            All I do is lol when I see this guy attack me..articel after article.  Don't like Miley Cyrus?  Change the channel.  Don't like my articles?  Don't read them.  

            Thank you for reading the article ;-)

          •  The diary is inane and offensive. (0+ / 0-)

            Not to mention bringing people in under false pretense.

            If this is your cup of tea, all I can say is ... humor and insight is in the eye of the beholder.

  •  Miley goes where she deserves.... (0+ / 0-)

    My girls (12 and 8) saw what Cyrus did, and tossed their entire Hannah Montana collection.  Two full, 33-gallon capacity trash bags full of stuff have now been committed to the landfill.  There's room for other "Diz-nee stuff" now.

    Losing the kids of today means losing the buying-power parents of tomorrow.  Good job, MC....

    Proponents of gun violence own guns. Opponents of gun violence do not own guns. What part of this do you not understand?

    by Liberal Panzer on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:21:40 AM PDT

  •  verdict is in: not funny (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Darmok

    also not informative

    Dear NSA: I am only joking.

    by Shahryar on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:22:24 AM PDT

  •  Going "viral" where, exactly? (0+ / 0-)

    I'm pretty tuned in, and I have yet to see it pop up on any of my feeds...

    "When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist." --Dom Helder Camara, archbishop of Recife

    by JamesGG on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:34:34 AM PDT

  •  Sad Performance (0+ / 0-)

    I do not think that the performance was at all appropriate for children, and, no double standard here, I would not think so if this were a male star.

    I think that the cheapening of sexual intimacy and its secret  joys by going public with such moves is deleterious to those who are impressionable.

    And, personally, Ms. Cyrus tongue is not even close to a sexy move when stuck out and dangled like that. Looks ridiculous!

    People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. - George Orwell

    by paz3 on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:35:36 AM PDT

  •  after all this (0+ / 0-)

    if the two husbands on Real Housewives of New Jersey don't put out a twerk video I'll eat my hat.

    Dawkins is to atheism as Rand is to personal responsibility- mperiousRex.

    by terrypinder on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:41:34 AM PDT

  •  That was performace was awesome (0+ / 0-)

    because it was so bad.  If it had be legitimately good we wouldn't be talking about it.  I have found the disaster far more entertaining than any good performace at the VMA.  

    I don't have anything against Miley either.  Growing up a child star isn't easy.  They are under tremendous pressure starting at an age where they don't know how to deal with it.

    And frankly, I enjoy some mindless entertainment.  Sometimes I get tired of the doom and gloom.  It makes me cynical and unhappy.  I think I should stop paying attention to the news and watch sports instead.

    Here's an article written by the woman who played Matilda.

    http://www.cracked.com/...

    Can't we just drown Grover Norquist in a bathtub?

    by Rezkalla on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 11:57:40 AM PDT

  •  A good letter. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    danbojangles

    Obviously fake but still totally accurate.  I only watched the clip of her performance after I saw all the media/internet outrage online.  I didn't think it was offensive...it was really awkward (was this choreographed or improvised?) and her attempt at being "rock and roll" where cringe-worthy (what's with all the tongue?) and not very well planned out.  I think she could have made her exact same point, and been as in-your-face raunchy as she wanted but done it way better, more professionally and less awkwardly.  

    What I found funny was that it seems to me that all pop radio is very sexualized.  What do people think Selena Gomez is saying in her song "come and get it"?  Hand holding?  Or Katty Perry singing to her hordes of 13 year old fans about getting black out drunk and having a threesome and essentially saying that is what cool people do on friday night?  My local radio station will beep out the sex "alien sex" from Kanye but not once during the 37 references in Rihanna's S&M song.  Hell, almost all of Rihanne's songs these days seem to be about raunchy sex.  Yet they all get a pass.

    My personal favorite in media hypocrisy and outrage was when MIA gave the finger at the superbowl.  Even Madonna threw her under the bus despite the fact that (a) this performance was fully coreographed and under Madonna's control, and (b) she does the very exact same thing, at the same point in the song, for the song's video and not ONCE was that parallel or connection made.

    Meanwhile Miley Cyrus goes on stage and puts on a sexual performance and the country is completely offended and outraged?  AS this fake letter points out (as has another comedy/pardoy song on youtube) this isn't about Miley's performance but about the fact that people want to deny the reality of sexuality in music and being sold to young kids, and they want to deny that Hannah Montana is now an adult.

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