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If I were the Devil, I would say
Blessed are the rich for theirs is the Kingdom of God.
Blessed are the well feed for they have worked hard.
Blessed are the comforted for they deserve every penny.
Blessed are the merciless for might makes right.
Blessed are the well dressed for they understand fashion.
Blessed are they that use government to force their religion on the weak for they are pleasing.
Woe to you who are poor for God has cast you down.
Woe to you who hungry for you are too lazy to feed yourselves.
Woe to you who are suffering for you don’t have sense enough to improve yourself.
Woe to you who are ragged for you have no eye for beauty.
Woe to you who show mercy for you are too stupid to understand power.
Woe to you how show respect to those who understand God differently for you shall rot in hell.

And then there is Paul Harvey.  

http://youtu.be/...

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