Welcome to Thursday Coffee Hour. This is an open topic thread so help yourself to the goodies and sit a spell and let us know what is new with you. I just got back from bringing my brother out here from California. My practical Mom always wanted to know what I was going to do with a theater major. This last week I could have told her that it gets you through real life shock without breaking down. Follow me below the orange squiggle to see just how valuable my acting experience has been.
I’m sure my teachers in college would have been upset to know that I didn't pursue acting as a career. They told me I was very good at it and should pursue Broadway. I couldn't as I had student loans to pay off and obligations to my family so pursued my second loves which are art and writing.
I knew my brother Reid had severe diabetes and M.S. and had lost a lot of weight. I knew he used a walker and had leg braces. Nothing prepared me for the shock of my first look at him. He is seven years younger than me and looks twenty years older. My first look was of an old man who was skin and bones with long gray hair and beard and deep wrinkles. He not only uses the walker he can't move without it. I couldn't believe that this was my younger brother. He is 5’6” and 108 pounds.
Fortunately my theater training kicked in immediately and I was able to mask the horror that I felt. The train trip out and the couple days here have been a real challenge. When his M.S. kicks in he falls and has trouble getting up to stand. I am fairly strong and keep in fairly good physical shape in spite of the severe arthritis. It takes every bit of strength I’ve got to pull him up. The first day here he wasn't able to get to the toilet properly and I had to clean the floor of urine. It didn't bother me as much to clean as it did him feeling shame. After cleaning the blood and feces from around my parent’s house after my oldest brother died this was nothing. At least this brother is alive.
I have felt this last week has been a run up to the Oscars. I have never once let him see how shocked and sad I am at how he has deteriorated. He has never seen the tears and he never will. This is going to be a real hard caregiving job. I can and will do it but I am so thankful I have that degree in theater it has been my shelter from the storm. However I think that the Oscars should have a new award for The Best Performance of a Caregiver for Acting Cheerful While Your Heart Is Breaking.
Shelter from the Storm