Hello, writers. I picked up two stories recently and started reading them. I had the same problem with both of them-- I couldn't figure out what was going on. Couldn't tell what the problem was, what the characters were doing to solve the problem, or why it mattered.
One was by an established author. The other was by a newbie. I kept reading the one by the established author, probably thinking at some unconscious level, “Well, this is X. X was obviously having an off day, but it'll probably come right in the end.”
Established authors have more leeway than newbies do, simply because readers trust them more. Still, X shouldn't have done it.
It has to be clear to the reader what's going on. It has to be clear what the protagonist's goal is and why that matters.
So. Anyway. I'm still revising, and this week I've been working on goal statements. I had to work on these when I revised my last book, too.
It might be that your protagonist has one goal over the course of the story. Or it might be that s/he has shifting goals, which change as s/he gets more information/grows/changes/goes over to the dark side/gets transformed into an alligator.
My agent and my doughty critique partner (NB: get a doughty critique partner if you possibly can) pointed out to me that my protagonist actually has four goals which grow out of each other, one by one. So what I need to do now is go through and make sure that the reader always knows which of these goals he's pursuing, and why, and what's at stake.
There are a couple different ways a writer can do this.
One is to make a bold goal statement, perhaps at the beginning of a scene or chapter.:
The Callow Youth had to find the Purple Onion of Othmar. Without it, he'd have nothing to offer the Least Grebe in exchange for information that could lead him to the long-lost Jewel of Togwogmagog.
The other is by small reminders in each scene (or in most scenes):
He gazed into her deep green eyes and she gazed into his. Her lips met his. They tumbled together onto a handy pile of straw. His heart raced and he wondered where the hell the onion was.
Either way, the trick is to use as few words as possible to constantly remind the reader what exactly your protagonist is trying to accomplish and why.
Last week, quarkstomper mentioned that he'd never really thought before about what the point of getting the fabled Jewel of Togwogmagog was. Fair enough. I've certainly never thought about it, beyond that it will somehow or other save the realm. To the best of my recollection (with profuse apologies to whoever I'm forgetting) cfk is the only one whose ongoing Togwogmagog story has actually included a purpose for the Jewel. Two purposes, in fact: The dragon Malford wants the Jewel because it's his eye. The humans want it to power a lighthouse.
So, right now, think of a purpose for the Jewel of Togwogmagog. What's it for? How will it save the realm?
Now, here's tonight's challenge.
Write a brief scene in which our callow youth and his/her stout companion are doing one of the following:
- slogging through the Endless Swamp in search of the Least Grebe
- battling a dread foe
- approaching a terrible tower wherein lies certain doom
- other
In the course of the scene, explain what the Jewel is supposed to do once they get it.
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