Ted Cruz has a new plan to stop the compromise designed to re-open the government and raise the debt limit.
Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) has announced a final plan that he says will halt the bi-partisan agreement reached in the Senate and expected to pass in the House. He is certain that it will mean the full repeal of Obamacare.
Politico’s crack reporters have found out from a ‘confidential source’ that Cruz, and his sock-puppet friend Mike Lee (R-Utah) have scheduled a secret meeting with Tea Party members from both the House and Senate which will be held in the basement of the Tortilla Coast Mexican restaurant in Washington, D.C. later tonight.
Politico has been informed, by unidentified sources, that the conclave of Tea Party members has decided to ‘collectively hold their breath’ until President Obama surrenders on all of their demands!
“This is so brilliant,” said Senator Mike Lee. “The President will have to give in to us. What other choice does he have?”
Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) declared that the strategy cannot possibly fail. He went further, by stating: “This assures come-from-behind victories for Ken Cuccinelli in the Virginia governor’s race and for Steve Lonagan in the New Jersey contest for the U.S. Senate. Even better, it spells doom for the re-election prospects for Chris Christie as governor in New Jersey. This will teach him to not blindly support the Tea Party at all times!”
Former half-governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, immediately announced her support for the plan. When asked if she really thought it would succeed, her unwavering response was: “You betcha.”
The pending plan by Cruz and his fellow Tea Party cohorts, received only a lukewarm reaction from Senator John McCain (R-Arizona), who paused briefly to carefully consider his response, then screamed loudly: “They are fucking idiots."