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POLITIFORMERS: Robots oh these guys!
[ Part I - II - III - IV - V ]

Little did you know, but many of our most prominent politicians are actually super-powerful robots, hiding in our midst. This series profiles the Politiformers in the first decade of the new millennium, the Republicons and the Demobots.

Here in Part III be the Demobots who legislated their way to... a measured retreat? I know, I know what you're thinking, life imitates art imitates life, first as comedy, second as farce. Well, hey, I'm not here to dissuade you!

DEMOBOTS
Don't reverse the name mashup, or you might get ideas.
Democrats/Autobots
Descended from peaceful worker robots, their main weakness is that they can't fly. But then every once in a while some of them do anyway. Something about "keeping our powder dry?" Never mind that... Demobots, ROLL OUT!

Ironnhideddy


Ted Kennedy/Ironhide
Battle-scarred and dependable, he's a team player who gruffly reminds everyone to do what's practical and to get cracking. Minivans are quite practical, are they not?

Cosmosich


Dennis Kucinich/Cosmos
He may seem kinda spacey, but that's so superficial. He's seen a lot, and he tries, man, he tries. (Sorry, Dennis, you deserve a better-looking robot than that, but... the tie matches?)

Jazzyers


John Conyers/Jazz
He was righteously valiant back when he was trying to bring down the tyrannical Republicon leader (is there any other kind?) in the 1970s, but nowadays that disco just sounds like a lot of noise.

Wexlerglide


Robert Wexler/Powerglide
Excitable and daring, he engages in combat at the drop of a hat. Kind of a bit player, to be sure, though he's a bigger deal 'round these parts.

Leecomber


Barbara Lee/Beachcomber
Lady was right. The hippies are always right.

Gearry


Harry Reid/Gears
Oh, so tough, Gearry! Why do you keep getting everyone into so much trouble? Perhaps it's because you're crusty and you don't like change.

Bumblestone


Paul Wellstone/Bumblebee
Independently-minded, kind, humble, and morally centered, he's humans' best friend. Why doesn't everyone listen to him more often?

Ultruss Magnold


Russ Feingold/Ultra Magnus
He can't quite seem to get a grip on power, but (or, rather, because?) he has impeccable principles and solid mechanics. Even out of power, he's going to self-sacrificingly champion the Demobotic cause. Occasionally he takes too high of a road and overestimates the legitimacy of other robots' actions. Regardless, can't help but compare him to the other car carriers rolling along the highway, and they don't measure up.

Pelatchet


Nancy Pelosi/Ratchet
A Demobotic stalwart and a pioneering leader, she is impressively resourceful at keeping the machinery in good running condition. A careful one, she never takes drastic action, even when it's called for.

Pro tip: Mouse over the images and wait a sec to see the pre-mashup names.

This is the third in a five-part daily series exposing the long-held secrets of the Politiformers:
I.   Republicons - Sorcerers of Mass Destruction
II.  Republicons - Pillage of the Damned
III. Demobots - Inauspicious Study of Discernible Reality
IV. Demobots - The Best and the Shiniest
V.  The Rest of Us - Some Robots Are More Equal Than Others
Each part will be posted at 7:30 PM PST on consecutive days. Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of... the Politiformers!
Obtain the author's permission before reproducing this article in large part or in full. All Transformers comparisons in this post refer to (and in turn parody!) the "Generation 1" cartoon and movie (1984-1987). Imagery sourcing is fair use due to parody/commentary purpose, small size, and new composition.
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