From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night Snark: Ain't No Way to Hide Your Spyin' Eyes
"The U.S. has been spying on German Chancellor Angela Merkel for more than 10 years. Merkel actually called Obama to say that eavesdropping on allies 'is not acceptable.' Then Obama said, 'Yeah, well that's not what you said to England.'"And one year ago:
"If the NSA agents are like most men they were probably only pretending to listen to what she was saying anyway."
---Jimmy Kimmel"How can Americans protect their privacy? My solution: a diary with a little heart-shaped lock."Some people want a red Solo cup, and
others want a crystal stem. Some want
a competent rep in Congress, and
others want a Marsha Blackburn.
"House Republicans this week opened hearings into the failure of the healthcare.gov web site. So don’t worry about that tech issue, America---a bunch of our oldest men are on the case."
"McCain, you don't get to complain---at all. Because, if I remember correctly, no matter how cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs you think your wacko-bird colleagues are, they don't come anywhere close to your hatchling [Sarah Palin]. You opened Pandora's Box---you were the guy who gave the Mogwai a post-midnight all-you-can-eat buffet. You don't get to complain that now the party's overrun with gremlins."
---Jon Stewart, reacting to Senator John McCain's complaint that the tea party is damaging the GOP
"The popularity of Congress is at an all-time low, according to a recent poll that says Americans like head lice more than they like Congress. But, y'know, I think the real story here is that some Americans like head lice."
"A new Gallup poll shows that Mitt Romney now has a seven point lead on President Obama. That's right: Romney leads by seven points among people who still answer landline calls from a blocked number."Happy November. Don't blink or it'll be 2014. Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Poll Correction: The congressman who referred to the House committee as a "monkey court" is Frank Pallone (D-NJ). Pascrell's immortal line was, "Are you really serious?!!" C&J regrets the error.
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, November 1, 2013
Note: The NSA informs me that the content of this note will inform you that there will be no C&J Monday, but it will return Tuesday after I return from the NSA with nothing but truly excellent things to say about the NSA in a You Tube video that will go viral. [Sigh.] The things I do for a handful of candy corn...
Days 'til the U.S. House returns from its current vacation: 11
Days 'til the Downtown Pomona Chalk Art Festival: 8
Percent of Americans who have positive feelings about the Republican party: 22%
(Source: NBC News-Wall Street Journal poll)
Percent of women who say they plan to vote for Terry McAuliffe (D) and Ken Cuccinelli (R), respectively, in the Virginia gubernatorial race Tuesday: 58%, 34%
(Source: Washington Post poll via kos)
Minimum number of charities Prince Charles has founded: 25
Rank of "milf" among top XXX online search terms in New Jersey: #1
Rank of "smoking" among top XXX online search terms in Wyoming: #1
Puppy Pic of the Day: Good catch… Good catch… Good catch…
Hang on--I'm on my way!"
JEERS to Republican shills on the bench. On November 1, 1991, Clarence "Did Somebody Say Porn??" Thomas took his place as associate justice on the Supreme Court. In 22 years, he's barely uttered a sound from his perch. But a few years ago his tea-party activist wife apparently made up for all that silence by making creepy, harassing phone calls to Anita Hill from her liquor cabinet. That's the great thing about marriage: teamwork.
Dewey defeated Truman. Heh.
JEERS to today's edition of "Worst…Congress…Ever."
quite a fear of vampire bites.
Polk's outstanding success was no accident. He assiduously planned his moves and carried them through to fruition. Former president Harry Truman summed it up in his own concise way in 1960. When asked what he thought about Polk, he replied, "A great president. He said exactly what he was going to do and he did it." Quite an achievement for a president of any era.Yeah, but a few months after he left office he was dead at 53. Consider that a heads-up, workaholics.
with Kent Brockman on Sunday.
And here's your Sunday morning lineup---let's see how white, right and male it is:
This Week: White House advisor Dan Pfeiffer; Sen. Rand Paul (R-Wikipedia); Kossack Poblano aka Nate Silver performs his scary-accurate statistical gymnastics; roundtable with Matt Dowd, Van Jones, Jonathan Karl & Mrs. Condescension herself, Peggy Noonan; and Rob Lowe on playing JFK in Killing Kennedy.Final tally out of the 30 guests booked: 24 men, 7 Women. 27 whites, 2 blacks, 1 Latino. 12 right-leaning, 9 left-leaning---plus 4 white male hosts and 1 white female host. Or, as the corporate-political-industrial complex calls it: perfectly balanced. Happy viewing!
Meet the Press: Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney explains that the nationalized Romneycare plan won't work because it was renamed Obamacare and it sucks. Current Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick explains that the nationalized Romneycare plan will work because it was renamed Obamacare and it rawks. The roundtable includes Bill Kristol, David Axelrod, Katty Kay and Bob Woodward.Well, look who's back.
Face the Nation: Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) and Michigan GOP Rep. Mike Rogers (who is getting close to topping John McCain's 2013 record of appearances on the Sunday shows) on the extent to which the NSA is planting bugs up both our allies' asses and our own; Former NSA director Michael Hayden talks with Bob Schieffer VERY LOUDLY FROM AN AMTRAK QUIET CAR ABOUT NATIONAL SECRETS; Alexandra Zapruder and former LIFE editor Dick Stolley on the Zapruder film that documented JFK's assassination; roundtable with David Sanger (NYT), David Ignatius (WaPost), Jan Crawford and John Dickerson (CBS News).
CNN's State of the Union: Senator Kelly Ayotte (R-NH). Not sure who else, since their web elves appear to be napping.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Ezekiel Emanuel and James Capretta play doctor with Chris Wallace; Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-NOTGAY!) continues flogging---what else?---Benghazi! Roundtable with Evan Bayh, Scott Brown, Karl Rove and Julie Pace
Five years ago in C&J: November 1, 2008
JEERS to throwing your teammate an anchor. A fine running mate you chose there, Senator McCain. Sarah Palin's so over you and your anemic campaign that she's publicly laying out plans to be the chief GOP poo-flinger in 2012. But don't be too sad, sir---maybe she'll pick you to be her vice president! [11/1/13 Update: Palin traded her dreams of power for the reality of money. So we got Mitt as our roadkill instead. I vividly recall not complaining about that.]
And just one more…
Whatever your weekend plans, have a great time! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?