OK this one's too easy folks.
From ABC News blog:
If dueling were legal in Kentucky, if they keep it up, you know, it would be a duel challenge,” Paul said. “But I can’t do that, because I can’t hold office in Kentucky then.”Perhaps Steve Martin could be compelled to challenge Rand Paul to a duel, and drawing a banjo from its case at dawn commence to shred Rand the Lesser to little teary bits with sweet, sweet melodies. (can someone please photoshop Rand's head on the banjo boy from Deliverance??)
On a more nuanced and historical tack, one might suggest to the Good Senator that we done dueled already, called it The Civil War- and if we might summarize history a bit for him: his side lost.
Badly. Of course the whole country lost a generation of young men, but no one lost more thoroughly and officially than the Confederacy. They challenged their countrymen to a duel, and they got whupped. Now they call it the War of Northern Aggression. And that's just sad, considering the epic paper trail of bigoted, secessionist fundamentalism that their would-be Confederate forefathers left behind.
As a nation I wish we'd long since moved on. So I say RIP quaint notions of the Gentleman from Kentucky!
P.S. If in California, where we at least sometimes try to portray civilized society, two people pulled loaded weapons with stated intent to murder one another I'm pretty sure they'd both be subject to arrest on the spot. None of this "Stand Your Ground" nihilism. And I would hope my local law enforcement would take an interest in anyone who challenges another person publicly to a pistol fight.
Because even if it's a "joke": hey that shit ain't funny any more.