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Last night, Jon Stewart blasted the opponents of Obamacare for continually lying their asses off.

We're still working out some of the fine print on our health care system.  Right now, there's been some talk that the President of the United States was less than 100% honest with some of his health care rhetoric.
BARACK OBAMA (7/21/2009): If you like your current plan, you will be able to keep it.
Did he just say if we like our current plan, we'll be able to keep it?
BARACK OBAMA (7/21/2009): Let me repeat that.  If you like your plan, you'll be able to keep it.
I thought that was what you said.
BARACK OBAMA (3/10/2010): If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.
Wanna add any caveats to that?  Cuz it sounds kind of definitive.
BARACK OBAMA (6/15/2009): We will keep this promise to the American people.  If you like your doctor, you will be able to keep your doctor.  Period. ... If you like your health care plan, you will be able to keep your health care plan.  Period.
Period!!!  First of all, I do not think you're supposed to read the punctuation in the speeches.  (audience applause)  Pretty sure you're supposed to let that stuff go by.  And second of all, how would that definitive statement sound post-implementation of said health care act, when it has become abundantly clear that you cannot always keep your plan or your doctor?
BARACK OBAMA (11/5/2013): If you have or had one of these plans before the Affordable Care Act came into law, and you really liked that plan, what we said was, you could keep it — if it hasn't changed since the law passed.
No, no, no, no, no, no, what you said was, "You can keep it.  Period."

Now, what you said there was more like, "You can keep your health care plan, ellipsis, comma, because it may no longer meet the minimum requirements, or your insurance company may stop offering individual plans, or some other odd bureaucratic unintended offshoot.  Period.  Emoticon denoting a combination of embarrassment and arrogance."

Did I do that?  So, yes, the President was somewhat dishonest about the promise of his health care program.  But here's the weird part.  His opponents have been lying like motherfuckers about its effects!

REP. GEORGE HOLDING, R-NC (10/23/2013): It is estimated that Obamacare will increase taxes over a trillion dollars, and add $6 trillion dollars to the deficit.

ALLISON DENIJS (10/11/2013): We're looking at probably $20,000 in premiums next year. ... And we don't even have insurance for our daughter, who has a pre-existing condition.

BRIAN KILMEADE (10/28/2013): You have a $95 dollar fine, which a lot of young people are going to take, in order to avoid prison time, or whatever ramifications.

DR. BEN CARSON (10/9/2013): Vladimir Lenin ... he said socialized medicine is the keystone of the arch to the socialist state.

DR. BEN CARSON (10/11/2013): Obamacare is really, I think, the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery.

I mean, I gotta, say, OK, the President was dishonest, but it is sort of weird that if this is the worst law known to mankind, so many people seem to feel the need to stretch the truth to attack it.  If something is genuinely bad, just telling the truth about it should be sufficient.  There's a reason 12 Years a Slave doesn't have vampires and zombies in it — it doesn't need them.

Not to mention that some of the arguments against the Affordable Care Act make no sense whatsoever!

BETSY McCAUGHEY (10/29/2013): And the point is, who should set the minimum?  A lot of people are saying, why should somebody in Washington tell me I have to have these 10 items in every plan.  It's 10 essential benefits.  As I said, it's like passing a law that the only car you can buy is a fully loaded Cadillac.  What if you can only afford a Honda?
So your point is, why should the government set 10 standards for health care, when they don't set 10 standards for cars?  Cuz guess what?

This is the federal standards for automobiles.  The reason is because the federal government sets at least 50 standard items that must be in either a Cadillac or a Honda if they would like to be referred to as a car.  (audience laughter)

So my guess is, you're going to be able to find some people who do not benefit from this law, and some people who are actually burdened by this law.  But don't pretend that the old system was Cocoon.  (in Wilford Brimley voice)  "We won't ever get old, and we won't ever die."  (audience laughter)

Seriously, man!  The fucking insurance system before sucked!  I give you the Shangri-La of the law before Obamacare.

CNN REPORT (6/22/2009): Unable to work, she lost her medical insurance.

AGNES REYMER (1/28/2008): When he died, I got a bill for $180,000 dollars.

CBS NEWS REPORT (5/23/2007): Blue Shield rejected me because I got a spider bite.

NEWS REPORT (9/14/2007): ... cancelled his policy.

ABC NEWS REPORT (12/19/2007): ... backlogs of patient complaints ...

ABC NEWS REPORT (9/14/2007): ... lost my car ...

ABC NEWS REPORT (12/19/2007): ... improperly denied claims ...

ABC NEWS REPORT (9/14/2007): ... contemplating bankruptcy ...

ABC NEWS REPORT (11/9/2007): ... of encouraging its employees to drop policy-holders, and actually paying bonuses based on how much money the company saved.

(Jon sings in a falsetto voice)

♫ Those were the days.
And you knew who you were then.
Girls were girls and men were men.

Now I know you're justifiably worried about some of these new cases.

ERIC BOLLING (10/29/2013): You know who's getting their insurance policies pulled out from under them?  It's not wealthy people.  It's poor people!
But you can't pull that concern shit when this is the way you acted to the millions without insurance in the old system.
ERIC BOLLING (1/18/2011): I'm not really sure why we need to revamp a multi-trillion dollar system, really, to take care of a handful of people.
Yeah, just a handful of millions of people.  But I guess back then you were OK, because if you liked not having a doctor, you got to keep not having a doctor.  Period.

We'll be right back.

Video below the fold.

Jon then did some more mocking of CNN.
Both Jon and Stephen also talked about Toronto mayor Rob Ford's crack cocaine scandal.
Stephen then looked at another drug case in Canada, and then how many insects are accidentally having gay sex.
Jon talked with actor John Goodman, and Stephen talked with NBA superstar Julius Irving.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Wed Nov 06, 2013 at 05:01 AM PST.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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