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So, the day started out for me with a repeat of yesterday, with my poor little dog freaking out at the thought of making the terrifying, 5-second trek from bedroom to kitchen for breakfast. Ever since an unfortunate run-in with the rowdier of the two cats in the small hallway between the kitchen and the rest of the house last weekend, he's been scared to even approach that threshold. It's like there's an invisible minefield he dare not approach. He warily eyes the cats, and sticks close to my side. He's looks miserable every time he has to go from room to room.
I'm sad for him. I miss his former happy little trot out to the food dish in the morning, and his eager leap off the couch toward the back door where he dons his collar and harness for walks every day. These days, he is just paralyzed, fearing a repeat of the scary cat encounter, I guess? Doesn't seem to matter if I have the cats behind a closed door or if I'm there next to him: he's not going anywhere near it. He wags his tail, eager to obey my call, but his face is worried and his cowering posture says it all. Keep in mind, this is a small dog with a big bark who often goes on the offensive with much bigger dogs, and he normally has no trouble approaching strangers, new places, or strange situations, so it's not a general fear issue.
Anyway, if he does go through the hall, it's at a scrambling, slippery full gallop that makes him smash into stuff, which scares him even more. I've tried leading him through (slipped his collar), bribing with treats (doesn't work) and finally resorted to physically picking him up and carrying him from room to room (not a good long-term option). I'm trying to get him used to going through there normally but I'm kind of at a loss, though I'll keep trying to help him through it.
Fear doesn't always make sense.
We all deal with fear in our day-to-day lives: phobias, specific worries that have managed to get a grip on our psyches, or that vague sense of apprehension that can color our experiences and impact our quality of life. We deal with fear both rational and irrational (or somewhere in between). We shrug it off, even as subconscious alarm bells ring, or let it control our every move, letting it limit us without our even realizing it.
It can be paradoxical; we can fear the known AND the unknown, failure AND success. We let it dictate our responses, and sometimes let it lead us to self-sabotage, giving in to the sense that we're doomed to crash and burn and---consciously or not---allowing that sense to become a self-fulfilling prediction.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Acknowledging the sometimes irrational nature of fear can help; so can recognizing legitimate fear but making sure our responses and coping strategies in dealing with that fear are healthy and productive, rather than maladaptive and reactive. And while a little fear can be a good thing (to save us from destructive impulses and let us avoid unnecessary drama), it's probably NOT a good idea to let it rule our lives.
Sending GET WELL SOON vibes to Matf, who had surgery today. Hope she pops back into GUS once she's feeling up to it!
Who's Your Little Buddy?
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