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Matt Wuerker
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Originally posted to Comics on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 02:50 PM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Former GA Gov. Zell Miller challenged (7+ / 0-)

    Chris Matthews to a duel first.

    "The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?" ~Orwell, "1984"

    by Lily O Lady on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 02:57:32 PM PST

  •  my bet's on Rachel (19+ / 0-)

    Warning - some snark may be above‽ (-9.50; -7.03)‽ eState4Column5©2013 "I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be" - Barack Obama 04/27/2013

    by annieli on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 03:01:56 PM PST

  •  Can he even spell "plagiarism?" (5+ / 0-)

    Inquiring minds want too no.

    "Where some see a system for encouraging discussion . . . others see an echo chamber of bad grammar, unchecked stupidity, and constructive interference . . . " -- Ars Technica

    by Rikon Snow on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 03:07:41 PM PST

  •  Too bad the "Weekly World News" (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    GreenPA, Brown Thrasher

    is out of business, or Rand Paul could mine them for goodies.

    The WWN was the estimable rag that used to feature such headlines as:



    and my all-time favorite:


    Go here for more hilarity.

    “When it comes to this, I shall prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty—to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.” —Abraham Lincoln

    by Pragmatus on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 03:13:19 PM PST

  •  Funny 'toon but Randy is not that good looking. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Pragmatus, zinger99

    Rand Paul has a dirty, kinda "picknose" look about him.  The caricature is way off.  It makes him look too good looking.  The artist got carried away with the "Beau Brummel" reference.

  •  Make that "Dueling SERIAL Plagiarist" n/t (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Pragmatus, viral

    "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty (Antonin Scalia, John Boner, or Scotty Walker (pick your favorite) said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."

    by Eman on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 03:15:04 PM PST

  •  He should keep his footnotes under his toupee. (0+ / 0-)
  •  I can just imagine Rand's next fine speech (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JayRaye, Brown Thrasher

    He hath disgraced me and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies—and what’s his reason? I am a Plagiarist. Hath not a Plagiarist eyes? Hath not a Plagiarist hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Libertarian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Plagiarist wrong a Libertarian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Libertarian wrong a Plagiarist, what should his sufferance be by Libertarian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me I will execute—and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.

  •  the challenged gets to pick weapons: Rock Crushers (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    at ten paces

    Warning - some snark may be above‽ (-9.50; -7.03)‽ eState4Column5©2013 "I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be" - Barack Obama 04/27/2013

    by annieli on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 03:29:26 PM PST

  •  Strange family, the Pauls (5+ / 0-)

    Ron self-published a little newsletter, and when a few copies landed in the right hands, it appeared that Ron was kind of a flaming racist. Of course, when these articles were brought to his attention, Ron denied that the articles in his newsletter were written by him. Oh sure, he received the subscription money from his demented followers and couldn't produce any record of ever having paid someone else to write for his newsletter, but all the racist stuff was someone else.

    Rand, on the other hand, has exactly the opposite problem, in that he appropriates the writings of others, and claims them for his own.

    Both of them, father and son, have honed the art of offended dignity to a fare thee well: How dare you simple proles question the deathless prose of your betters? Aren't we afraid the Pauls will "go Galt" and deprive us of the benefits of the output of their great minds?

    Spoiler alert: No.

  •  That's soooo Randy, Matt. Kudos. (0+ / 0-)
  •  Small problem with the whole duel thing (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    meinoregon, Radical Faith
    Kentucky Constitution
        Section 228
    Oath of officers and attorneys.

    Members of the General Assembly and all officers, before they enter upon the execution of the duties of their respective offices, and all members of the bar, before they enter upon the practice of their profession, shall take the following oath or affirmation: I do solemnly swear (or affirm, as the case may be) that I will support the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of this Commonwealth, and be faithful and true to the Commonwealth of Kentucky so long as I continue a citizen thereof, and that I will faithfully execute, to the best of my ability, the office of .... according to law; and I do further solemnly swear (or affirm) that since the adoption of the present Constitution, I, being a citizen of this State, have not fought a duel with deadly weapons within this State nor out of it, nor have I sent or accepted a challenge to fight a duel with deadly weapons, nor have I acted as second in carrying a challenge, nor aided or assisted any person thus offending, so help me God.
    Text as Ratified on: August 3, 1891, and revised September 28, 1891.
    History: Not yet amended.

    I think that what is good for my State officials should be good for my U.S. elected officials.
  •  The Five Minute Rule may have to be adjusted (0+ / 0-)

    According to Charles P. Pierce, the Paul family (Crazy Uncle Liberty and Senator Aqua Buddha) may be able to speak clearly, logically, even persuasively for up to 5 minutes at a time - but at 5 minutes, 1 second, they invariably get on the express bus to crazy town.  

    I think Rand Paul is skipping the five minute preface these days. And why not?

    Kevin Drum picks up on a Dan Drezner observation on how quickly one qualifies for Wingnut Welfare these days.

    It seems a bit odd that it's apparently impossible for someone on the right to commit a serious ethical breach and go 48 hours without... landing a cushy new gig.

    "No special skill, no standard attitude, no technology, and no organization - no matter how valuable - can safely replace thought itself."

    by xaxnar on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 04:22:57 PM PST

  •  Shades of Preston Brooks (0+ / 0-)

    On May 22, 1856, Preston Brooks, Representative from the 4th South Carolina Congressional District, angered by Massachusetts Senator Charles Sumner's denunciation of slave interests in the Bloody Kansas affair, snuck up on the senator as he worked at his desk and beat him with a heavy metal-tipped cane. He carried on beating the helpless unconscious man until the gutta-percha stick broke -- an act for which he was lauded across the South.

    Shortly thereafter Representative Anson Burlingame of the 5th Massachusetts District took the the house floor to denounce the attack as an act of cowardice, which it self-evidently was.

    This in turn prompted Brooks to make the stupidest move of his career: he publicly challenged Burlingame to a duel at any time and place of his naming.  Brooks was dismayed when Burlingame promptly and enthusiastically accepted the challenge, and even more dismayed when he learned that Burlingame was a crack pistol shot.  Brooks did not show up for the duel, citing concerns for his safety en route to the duel site.

    The lesson is that it takes a special sort of coward to talk about doing violence to someone when he thinks that the harm he threatens will never come back to touch him.  If Rand Paul wants satisfaction, let him name terms that are legal to accept, say a boxing match.  Or let him shut up.

    I've lost my faith in nihilism

    by grumpynerd on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 04:56:16 PM PST

  •  If memory serves (0+ / 0-)

    If memory serves the person you challenge gets to pick the weapons.

    A battle of wits perhaps? (defenseless joke here)

    I would tell you the only word in the English language that has all the vowels in order but, that would be facetious.

    by roninkai on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 05:23:32 PM PST

  •  Lincoln duel - a legend? (0+ / 0-)

    There is a story around that Abraham Lincoln was once challenged to a duel and accepted, specifying the weapons as battle-axes in six feet of water.  Lincoln was 6ft 6 in height his putative opponent just over 5 ft. I do suspect this is an urban legend. Anyone have specific information?

    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

    by saugatojas on Fri Nov 08, 2013 at 01:46:46 AM PST

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