I was recently running faster than I have in years.I felt a pain,but it was not in my legs or chest. I kept running. In the bathroom,I saw a "lump" where a man does NOT want to see one.
The Doctor looks down as I say "this lump appeared overnight"."Ever heard of a Hernia?" I"m asked. I had no idea you give yourself one of "those" running.My Urologist says," lets take care of ALL your problems in that area while we fix the hernia"."Surgery?" I ask.The doc laughs and says yup we have yet to find a way to fix your problems without going inside.I knew that, I am a coward. The idea of being on a table while they cut me,scares the hell out of me.
I am told part of my phobia comes from Vietnam days. In surgery, Some Doctors would
always pull a dead soldier up to a sitting position,lay the soldier down and declare the
soldier dead.
I have my surgery,and wake up with two new FRIENDS.A CATHETER and a DRAINAGE
BAG! I was never told about that part.
"So Mike plan on running with a pxxx big on?" You have no idea how many people asked me that.
I have never worn a bag attached to my leg before. Men will understand the feeling of automatic urinating.I was supposed to empty the thing every hour.
I am in the Couthouse going through the metal detector. Of course the detector goes off. I am being frisked,officer feels the bag. I say the truth, Now I am surrounded by cops. I admit to being Bi-Polar. I can get upset. I said "come on guys, I doubt you can
make a bomb out of urine,never
use the word BOMB in a Couthouse.I am in a room, pants are up ,and the officers see it is indeed what I said it was. Only now the fluid is all over the floor and the officers pant legs.I was saved from further trouble after they talked to the Veterans hospital.
I am okay for a spell,but am walking with my friend in a very busy store when I feel a
burning sensation.I look down and see urine flowing from under my pants. Little kids are laughing, as is my friend,Moms are glaring at me.I am walking quickly to the mens room.
I just can"t handle wearing a bag. I admire all of you who have to. Having a catheter
inside my you know what, is an experience I can live without ever again. Some of you
may need one, you have my respect.
I would make a lousy terrorist. I hate killing. The enemy seems to be fine killing as many infidels as they can find. They get to go to heaven and play with 70 virgins. Women are now blowing themselves up. Do the ladies get to play with 70 men?
I am almost bald.Look at all the pictures you have seen of the bad guys.When did
Do you see a bald one?