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I'll admit to a fondness for the "Uncle John" bathroom books :) They are a font of absolutely amazing information :) While generally not useful for civilized dinner party conversation, some of their articles are quite informational. I stumbled across one on breakfast cereals and wasn't quite sure whether to gag or laugh. But I was inspired to write this, and now you can decide which YOU'D rather do :) Good morning, everybody!

First on the list: Green Slime!

Green Slime! It's what's for breakfast :)
This cereal was created in the 1980's when Nickolodeon had a show called, "You Can't Do That!" in which participants got buckets of, naturally, green slime dumped on them. The cereal was made by General Mills and had green crunchies with pink marshmallow bits. According to Uncle John, sugar was 47% of its composition. Ack.

Next, we have the deliciously-named "Eat My Shorts" cereal:

Eat My Shorts
"Eat My Shorts, Mommy!" "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Kellogg's bid to cash in on the success of The Simpsons produced underwear-shaped cereal. According to the box, the cereal is "Frosted golden syrup-flavored multi-grain shorts." Uh, ok. What is "golden syrup?" Or did they mean golden-colored syrup-flavored? Which? That is the burning question. Inquiring minds are annoyed by the lack of clarity.

And who could not possibly drool over "Addams Family Cereal"?

Severed hands and skulls...yum, yum!
Made by Ralston-Purina, this was described as, "The creepy, crunchy cereal with the great taste you'll scream for!" Um, I'd be more likely to scream AT it, but okay.

Not in the Uncle John book, but from a HuffPo article:

Kiddo Balls cereal
I have no words.
Gahhh. Really. Ewww.

On that note, enjoy your breakfast! There are many more weird cereals out there :) My brothers and I were very fond of Kaboom:

Turns your tongue blue and makes Mommies mad
My mother refused to buy it because it was loaded with sugar. She was not impressed by the claim that it was "Vitamin Fortified!" My paternal grandmother kept boxes of it for us, and we would eat it when we stayed with her. This enraged my mother, who would make us stick out our tongues when we got home. If they were blue, she would stomp off and tell my father that "We need to send the dentist's bill to your mother! She gave the children Kaboom again!" My father would sigh.
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