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An Industrial Church - Buy and Be Happy, or Die...
Founded April 2, 1792

The Declaration of Eternal Debt
Doctrine of Holy Submission to 'Wealth'

The Consumer:

Consumerism under-girds every decision the modern American makes. We work in corporate America all week long, why not go worship there too?

The Consumer church might look something this. A Mall. The absence of authority ---the final authority in the consumer church is the individual. To truly submit to the direction of an elder/pastor and their spiritual leadership is laughable. Biblical headship has faded.

The desire to please ones self, the Consumer, is the Holy Submission. Consumption takes the place of prayer, silence, community and supplies obedience to 'Wealth'. Desire to please 'Wealth' with consumption there is no other form of worship. Unaccountable individual isolationism encourages consumption. Sharing is Heresy.

It’s granted that Malls are amassing the most impressive assemblies of Consumer seekers and wanderers, but we never stop to wonder about the lack of character and fiber that once actual knit peoples’ lives together within an community. There is no community outside of the Consumer.

Masses of Mall-goers are offered a sense of entitlement to special goodies within the company whorehouse, but by all means, they are also fully validated in perusing friendly isles elsewhere in order to find any better deal for themselves. Consumer also lives in a “youth culture”, a "middle Class" (no matter how poor), and a “mobile society”. If the flock can’t find its sweet sustenance within the Mall, they’ll surly tickle their taste buds with the formula offered up or down the street — or worse, seek satisfaction “in the world!” — The world indeed. All Worlds are secondary to Consumer Desire and are treated as such.

The focus of Economic life is clear to the Consumer, especially in the modern Mall, which is now gauged as either “good” or “not-so-good” depending on the emotional response that we’ve received from our Shopping. According to Economic thinking, we’ve evolved past the bygone days of Christianity which were full of dull, personally uninspiring, or even slavish obligations to others. We want what we want and get all we desire from a desktop, a tube, a speaker, or even the self-invigorating Shopping Spree.


Superficiality is the love-child of consumerism. The Consumer is only interested in itself, which leads to an inability to love others. Become a manipulator and a user. Lose track of what's happening in the real lives of "friends" and fellow believers.

The Consumer is not interested in their pain, fear, loneliness, or joy. The Consumer is only interested in its own pain, fear, loneliness, or joy. Superficiality takes the place of depth. - In a consumer culture we love things happening fast. If we sit in a drive through for more than 5 minutes it seems like an eternity. The rapid-sell, rapid-buy Consumer marketing culture that we live in today is largely responsible for the popularity of the ‘Economic growth’ movement. 'Wealth' is all powerful.


After superficiality comes image. Image is the consumer's greatest idol. The most aggressive form of Consumer appeal can be seen in the carefully scripted, telemedia “church service”, ie. Advertising. We have not only been severely struck with the limitless possibilities of mesmerizing marketing potential, but we have also been gradually seduced by the cultural effects of rampant Consumption.

Advertising is the triumph of image over reality. Much of the nature we experience in our lives these days is not reality. Image is the only reality. With Advertising one indeed “feels” that he or she is actually part of a congregation of Consumers.

"We are bunch of normal people who are really messed up. We desire to follow Jesus, but we find we've found we're mostly interested in serving ourselves and being busy and we don't want to stop." says the Almighty Consumer. Amid the progressive marketplace, we have now been carefully reprogrammed to be 'Wealth’s' very own religious Consumers.

The Media Ministers:

For whom do Media Ministers care? They may care about preaching the Economy or encouraging Consumption in their own congregation, but they cannot possibly care for the lives of Monitor Members. Empathy has no place in the Economy. The hearts and minds of the Consumers themselves must be liberally tantalized with an ever more invigorating spin on the old doctrines of Consumption to suit a more appealing view of 'Wealth'.

The kind of Advertising that succeeds “on air” is strictly a Consumer service, usually driven by the most outwardly appealing personality who delivers the most inwardly appealing message to the widest possible Consumer audience. The result is that the Consumer at large is taking the shape of a conglomerate of media-infused, consumer-savvy, though haplessly detached individuals.

Lip service is thereby brought to its full light, and real “religion” is relegated to the background. The Consumer flock is indeed “served,” but not under a biblical shepherding model. It is instead serviced as if the Consumer were a throng of attentive shoppers who buy the larger corporate objective. Media Ministers carefully pitch a most inoffensive message to the widest possible audience and our product is strictly a self enriching Consumer religion. Tasty, individualized servings of sweet motherly milk is what Consumers buy, and sweet motherly milk is what Consumers get.

The old biblical and historic ethos of godliness measured by quality has shifted to the new Consumer marketing ethos of godliness measured in shear volume of Products consumed. Everyone knows the rich are rich because God/Wealth loves them more. “Give us your tired, disobedient, disjointed family members, and we’ll groom each as healthy, independent individuals more fit to co-habituate a Mall.” says the Media Minister.

Hype is the glittering rhinestone on the jumpsuit of mediocrity that catches our eye and keeps us from thinking. If the gift-wrapping on the outside of the box is fancy enough, we won't notice that inside there's nothing at all. Yeah we're prostitutes, yeah we're stuck, yeah we need a Credit Card instead of Love. Love isn't tax deductible and therefore doesn't exist. Consumption will fill the void.

Our kingdom come. Our will be done. Till Death do we Consume.

Infinite Copyright: Only Church Of Consumer - All Rights Reserved


01 Everyone is a Consumer.
02 All Consumers are members of The Only Church of Consumer.
03 It is impossible to leave The Only Church of Consumer.
04 'Wealth' is the only God, and every act of Consumption is a act of Worshiping 'Wealth'.
05 All life is worthless, only money has value.
06 All matter and nature is valueless until it is processed into disposable products.
07 Our purpose is the total strip-mining of nature.
08 The ultimate goal is to destroy all nature on all planets and achieve Maximum Opulence Galaxy wide.
09 Desires are limitless.
10 Garbage is tax deductible.

Holy Products:

Money - The life Blood of 'Wealth'.
Bank Lobbys - Temple to 'Wealth'. Sacrifice in the form of Debt is non-negotiable.
ATMs - Dispenser of Money, Totem of Debt.
Cash Registers - Hand of almighty 'Wealth'. 'The Fistful'.
Malls - Temple to 'the Self', The 'Church' of Almighty Consumer.
Fast Food Drive-Thru - Sacramental dispensaries. The lane of Eternal Desire.
TVs - Totem of Sacred Advertisements. Desire Programming. Indoctrination by proxy.
Media Ministers - The Gaurdians of Sacred Advertising. High Programmers. The Prophets of Desire.
$$ - The Sign, The Big Bling, the ultimate Goal in sigil form. When all gold in the Universe is molded into twin Dollar Signs floating in space and all life is vanquished Maximum Opulence will be obtained.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Looks like an Unapproved Schism... (0+ / 0-)

    ...of the Church of the SubGenius PBUBob....

    "Ronald Reagan is DEAD! His policies live on but we're doing something about THAT!"

    by leftykook on Tue Nov 26, 2013 at 05:44:30 PM PST

  •  Nicely done, dark, but nicely done. (0+ / 0-)

    muddy water can best be cleared by leaving it alone

    by veritas curat on Tue Nov 26, 2013 at 06:41:45 PM PST

  •  The American public has a chance to be an (0+ / 0-)

    apostate from the Church of Consumerism this Thursday, Thanksgiving.

    The apostasy would be in the form of a boycott against any retail chain that forces its sales people to work on Thanksgiving. Yes, these avarice masters claim that worker want to work on that special day (corporate suits certainly will not) rather than spending the day with their families. That lie is right out of the Consumer Handbook. Boycott these retail stores, let them lose money and this policy of working on holidays will quickly come to an end. In this case money would work for the workers.

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