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If today is Tuesday, this must be . . . .  BENGHAZI!

Sigh. The problem with today's GOP, as compared to last year's or 2012, or even the nut jobs that created the Tea Buggered Congressional Coterie in 2008-2009 is how predictable and boring they have become. It was then that I realized their secret and the basis for their recent behavior.

1. If you tell a big lie often enough, it has a good chance of becoming DC Conventional Wisdumb. This is especially true with the likes of Andrea Mitchell, Chuck Todd, the wily ways of that brilliant question-naire (big hair asker?) Dave Gregory - and that is just the so-called liberal cable station! (see generally, ObamaCare is an utter failure)

2. Even if you, as a GOP pol,  tell small lies on national T&V, there will be absolutely no one on the air who will dare point it out on the same program.

3. Everyone who has a chance to be quoted by the print people, or screened by the T&V mobile cameras, manages to say EXACTLY THE SAME THING ON THE SAME DATE.  

The first time this exercise in puppetry was seen in public was during Bush the W's first four years, (or would a more generous description be, "First FORE years" in honor of his golf swing?) It has become even more refined since then, as they moved from early morning faxes with talking points, to Blackberries, and now to the iPhone, with built in transcripts for your standard GO P-er to regurgitate.

4. They actually have an issues Rolodex. I have seen it. It is about 1/8 the size of the Michigan's Saul Anuzis' famed Rolodex.

FROM THE CHURCH OF INEFFABLE STUPIDITY:

Unfortunately for the GOP, there was a physical malfunction, due to a clerical error. One aspiring GOP clerk (unpaid), thought it might be fruitful to check out any connections between Usama, Osama and Obama. Little did he know that the Usama - Osama connection was due solely to Oliver North's mispronunciation of bin Laden's preferred spelling. To save that spot for further research, he clipped a medium sized metal clip, the kind that can hold 1/2 cm. of paper.

Because this caused a subtle, but significant change in the delicate weighting of the GOP OFFICIAL MORAL OUTRAGE ROLODEX, it kept causing the "U" section of the alphabet to drop down to the bottom, spinning up to the letter "B," or more specifically, the BENGHAZI Card.

With every spin of the Issues Rolodex, the same issue of the day kept popping up - Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi BENGHAZI! Benghazi. Finally, the clerk returned after completing his mandatory sexual harassment boot camp (in lieu of actual probation or jail time) and removed the troublesome clip.

Immediately, new and improved editions of MORAL OUTRAGE were being concocted by the GOP brain tRust. The first new issue was OBAMACARE, then Israel, Syria, OBAMACARE,  Iran, followed by OBAMACARE, fracking, the war on Christmas, Iran, OBAMACARE, OBAMACARE, OBAMACARE, Iran, Birtherism, and more.

(Note to GOP - the birtherism card was removed on orders of the Koch brothers 4 times for a reason. It was and is a losing issue. Even they realize it. Yet, some moron keeps putting that Rolodex card in back in)

Anyway, the committee to creep out the presidency  (called GOP CREEP) finally looked over the recent events around the world, and found three new ideas worthy of the MORAL OUTRAGE ROLODEX.  In no particular order, those three new cards are:

a) IRAN
b) CUBA
c) Nelson Mandela

MANDELA
The last one is easily dealt with. Dick the Cheney still maintains his hate files in that man-sized safe that he removed from his VEEP quarters. Mandela takes up 1/2 of the entire top shelf. Communist, Terrorist, N̶i̶g̶g̶e̶r̶, Uppity N̶i̶g̶g̶e̶r̶, anti-captialism, hatred of America, Evil, are just a few of the keywords on the Mandela folder.  

Watch for GO P-er talkers to preach these mimes until the whole Mandela story dies out.

IRAN
AIPAC is running scared. They actually have both GO P-er AND Dem congressmen ignoring their calls and refusing to toe the AIPAC - BIBI black line of mass destruction.

What choice do they have but to use the Chinese Water Torture on the whole issue, and raise seemingly  irrelevant and unimportant stories about just how bad the Iranians are. In close cooperation  with political operatives of Benjamin Netanyahu (whose wonderful American accent and obvious literacy often exceeds that of many TeaBuggering GOPers), stories are being spread through the intertubes, on   talk radio, and of course, 24/7 on Fox News. The themes run from Iranian anal assaults on Israeli and American children, to every diplomatic station of Iran being a terrorist cell, spreading guns and IUD's  throughout unsuspecting countries. IEDs. Either way works for them.  

They don't believe in the Chinese Water Torture working fast enough, especially when 65% of Americans SUPPORT talking to and negotiating with Iran. So watch for some future MORAL OUTRAGE coordinated attack, to be based on some inaccurate, erroneous, or misquoted event in the future, or if that opportunity does not rear its ugly colon, they will simply make something up.

The bottom line is this - WE CANNOT AFFORT PEACE WITH IRAN! It would cost our military industrial friends too much in profit.

(insert drum roll - make it sound like a huge, revolving Rolodex, filled with hundreds of cards, flapping and spinning, spinning and flapping like some impotent propeller.)

And finally, the piece of resistance,

CUBA
Oh my effing bloody, traitorous, anti-american, bible hating, kenyan-based anti-gun, communist god. HE SHOOK HIS HAND! HE ACTUALLY SHOOK HIS . . .  HAND!   HOW DARE HE?

Poll

Predict the next GOP MORAL OUTRAGE topic

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| 15 votes | Vote | Results

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (7+ / 0-)

    What we call god is merely a living creature with superior technology & understanding. If their fragile egos demand prayer, they lose that superiority.

    by agnostic on Tue Dec 10, 2013 at 01:47:32 PM PST

  •  NPR just catapulted the propaganda on Castrogate (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    agnostic, sunbro, jayden, greenotron

    and even threw in the Selfie poutrage!

    If I ran this circus, things would be DIFFERENT!

    by CwV on Tue Dec 10, 2013 at 01:57:18 PM PST

  •  True But the Centrally Issued Talking Points (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jayden, agnostic

    (and they really are; some of our prog talkers like Thom Hartmann and Randi Rhodes get daily copies and occasionally work the progressive side of the day's official conservative outrage) go back much earlier than Bush I'm pretty sure. They may have begun under Reagan due to the constant requirement of having numerous conservative voices along with the Press Secretary insisting that Reagan had said things other than what everyone saw and heard him say. I'd bet serious money I was hearing coordinated talking points by the time Clinton was in office.

    (Reminds me I need to get a Mega ticket if I ever want to have serious money to bet.)

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Tue Dec 10, 2013 at 02:36:39 PM PST

    •  quite likely. They have always been more (0+ / 0-)

      (g)organized than we.  I believe Pogo was talking directly to Democrats when he was describing the enemy.

      Now, there have been some very good conservative ideas. Give me a week, and I can list one or two. Liberals, unfortunately, have a a great initial idea, alter into something barely decent, change to not too bad, because of GOP pressure, then pass it, and RUN AWAY!

      What we call god is merely a living creature with superior technology & understanding. If their fragile egos demand prayer, they lose that superiority.

      by agnostic on Tue Dec 10, 2013 at 02:51:32 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  I say pi (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    agnostic, implicate order, vgranucci

    The Bible pegs it at 3.0

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