I am an anxious person. Anybody who saw my comments here in Kitchen Table Kibitzing and in Top Comments knows how anxious I was about my comprehensive exams. Then again, who wouldn't be anxious about something that big? My anxiousness runs quite a bit deeper than that.
No, it's not the big things like comps--it's the little things. That's what really gets me frazzled.
An equally anxious friend and I were reading this BuzzFeed list of "26 Problems Only Anxious People Will Understand," and we couldn't help but laugh. Because every single problem applied to us. Every. Single. One. In fact, there were a couple of problems on the list that surprised me because I was pretty sure that I was the only one who experienced them. For example:
15. Even small things, like checking the mail, seem to fill you with dread, because…WHAT IF!It's funny, I just googled "mail phobia" a few weeks ago. Only turned up a few satisfying results. I must be one of the only people in the world scared to death of mail, I thought. That's really not an overstatement. I haven't checked my mail in about a week, and while I hope to check it soon, it probably won't happen for another week or so. When I approach my mailbox, my heart starts beating really fast, and I feel like I'm going to throw up. God knows what could be in there--higher-than-expected credit card bills, student loan statements, unexpected medical expenses. The awful possibilities are endless. Sometimes, thinking about the possibilities is enough to make me turn around halfway to my mailbox and head back to my apartment. When I finally do check my mail, it feels like a big achievement...until the next day, when the mail comes again.
Oh, and this one:
11. Sending a text and not hearing back IMMEDIATELY can make you feel like the world is ending.Basically. Five minutes after I send a text, if I don't have a response, I think, "Well...I guess that friendship is over. I wonder what I did." And then, sweet relief:
12. But when they finally respond, it’s like all of the angels are singing just to you.And then there's this:
23. You automatically assume that other people’s passive-aggressive tweets are about you.It's not tweets for me--it's Facebook statuses. I may not have talked to the person in five years, but I just know that passive-aggressive status was about me. If I could just figure out what it was I did that pissed them off...
9. Spontaneity isn’t your thing. At. All.Um...accurate. Everything. Must. Be. Planned. A friend says, "We should hang out this weekend." I pull out my iPhone calendar and say, "What time are you free on Saturday?"
Several other points hit close to home...
1. If you hear any kind of noise in your house whatsoever, you become convinced that you’re about to be murdered.
2. Even if you checked roughly seven times, you’re never ever really sure if you locked a door.
17. Missing a call from an unknown number will fill you with dread for the rest of the day.Sitting here and nodding at every point on the list makes me wonder how I'm even functional. Surely it's not normal for all 26 items to apply to one person...but alas.
What makes you anxious? Or are you just as carefree as can be? If so, maybe you'd like to come and check my mail for me...
Kitchen Table Kibitzing is a community series for those who wish to share part of the evening around a virtual kitchen table with kossacks who are caring and supportive of one another. So bring your stories, jokes, photos, funny pics, music, and interesting videos, as well as links—including quotations—to diaries, news stories, and books that you think this community would appreciate.
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