Skip to main content

Based on this week's Phil Robertson dust-up, I've pretty much decided that the last bastion of acceptable bigotry is ENTIRELY based on Anus Terror.

To those on the right the Anus is less the "brown star" and more the "Death Star", a dark, evil maw, which might suck otherwise God fearing men down into the hell that is cock lust and matching socks and pocket squares.

If only the anus were cuddlier - like a puppy (which we DON'T eat), not a cow (which we DO) - I believe even the most religious amongst us could get over their distain for *Gay.

(*And of course *Gay means Homosexual Men, because Lesbians just equal double the vagina and what could be better than that?)

If only the anus could just sing, or juggle... if it could change colors -- green for St. Patrick's Day... pink for Valentines Day... sparkly silver for the holidays -- it would then cease to have it's evil gravitational pull.

Why, oh why, can't the Anus warm a hot pocket or balance a checkbook or, maybe, act as a charging station or a wireless router?

If it smelled like cinnamon...

If it doubled as an MP3 player...

If it could get your son or daughter into Harvard...

But it doesn't do ANY of these things and I... frankly... blame GOD.

Because if we could make straight, Christian men more comfortable with the Anus... I think we could really move this country forward.

To this end, I'm promoting a program that allows gay men to have breasts implanted in their butt cracks.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site