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I am seriously mentally ill. Seriously mentally ill people constitute only a small percentage of the population and is a designation reserved for the worst illnesses.  The definitions differ, but the serious mental illnesses diagnosis usually includes schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and borderline personality disorder.

I guess I’m especially blessed as I’ve earned two SMI diagnoses – bipolar and post-traumatic stress disorder.  There may be another screw or two that someone might diagnose, I won’t quibble. Earn the diagnoses I did, with trauma that dates back to early childhood and genes with truck-sized holes in them.  

I’d like to share the things that have worked for me in life and those that haven’t, in the hope that this roadmap will prove helpful to those who follow similar paths in the future. Most of my life has been a great and positive ride, and this blog will reflect that. Some of my life has been dealing with the divorces, estranged family relationships, lost jobs and lost dreams that come with mental illness, and this blog will not hide from that side either.

Fighting the good fight to be “normal”, I did not seek psychiatric treatment until the age of 40, by which time any inborn natural circuit breakers were completely worn out.  This started a period of over 10 years searching for relief from traditional medicine, only to find out that the cure was too often worse than the illness.  

Psychiatric drugs tend to treat the symptoms other people want suppressed while leaving the patient suffering from both the emotional load of the disorder and side-effects of medication that are often worse than the underlying illness.  

OK, this is big moment. AZ Desert Rat anonymity no more. New Google searches will connect Gerald Gaines and the term “formal mental patient.” That’s not going to look good. Google “formal mental patient mass murder” next week and I’ll come up because of this blog along with the likes of:

How neat is that?

I bring up my former hospitalization to establish my credentials as someone with a serious illness. I do not have issues “just like anyone else.” I have an illness that results in more than 10% of its sufferers committing suicide, with a life expectancy that is 20 years below average, with equally unpleasant co-morbid diseases directly related to the illness as well as others caused by the side effects of the powerful but poorly targeted drugs available today. Where the only solution to the illness is sometimes to put you in a facility where your minute-to-minute behavior can be controlled.

As you can see from the above Google search you’ll get an idea of the crowd I’m grouped with, to say the least not the friends your mother hoped you’d bring home. Counter to the apparent danger to society of someone once hospitalized, the real truth is that it is the patient who faces great danger from society.

The misperception is common– it’s true that most mass murders are committed by seriously mentally ill people, but the vast majority of seriously mentally ill people are not violent. There is no efficient way to stop a dozen mass murders by hospitalizing, imprisoning or drugging millions of people. Not to mention the civil rights issue of treating 99.9% of people who will always be innocent as if they were the .1% who will become violent.

I am only one person – but I believe I speak for many who cannot find a voice.  I am many things, not just a patient of a psychiatrist.  But by being a mental patient, I am defined by society that way, no matter what else I’ve been born with or achieved in my life.   That label has defined me since the moment it became true – former mental patient.

Where would I like things to go? Drugs that help the patient’s needs would be welcome. Being able to consider hospitalization without the fear of stigmatization, especially given the limitations of treatment alternatives other than hospitalization, would be welcome. Being a father, husband, worker, volunteer and all the other roles in life as someone who has an illness, not someone who is that illness, that would be welcome.

Originally posted to AZ Desert Rat on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 05:04 AM PST.

Also republished by Mental Health Awareness.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Try the Blue Pill. (12+ / 0-)

    Anti depressants only give you time to fix real problems.

    This may not help but is offered in hope.

    •  Great remark: (7+ / 0-)
      Anti depressants only give you time to fix real problems.
      We forget this is often the case.

      It's here they got the range/ and the machinery for change/ and it's here they got the spiritual thirst. --Leonard Cohen

      by karmsy on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 07:28:42 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  After my ADD/ADHD diagnosis in my 40s, (17+ / 0-)

      I was put on a variety of drugs for six weeks at a time to see if I could find symptomatic relief. There were components beyond the ADHD diagnosis, like PTSD and insomnia, to contend with as well.

      After a week on Bupropion, I began to think there might be something to psych meds after all. Then, from my waist up, I developed a severe allergy. My eyes swelled, as did my nose, ears and throat. I was fighting for air. If I didn't know about Benadryl and vitamin C to help block anaphylactic shock, things might have gotten interesting.

      Because of years of struggling with off-moods and some unsettling periods of endogenous depression, as well as my lack of response or bad reactions to most meds, I used my clinical research background to try to find nutritional ways to balance mood, and I found some that worked for me.

      It took a leap of faith to unplug from the conventional medical route that had done nothing to stabilize my mood. And it took years of experimentation and study to find herbs and supplements that had a real impact on mood.

      I became so involved at seeking alternatives to physical and emotional health that I now own a health food store. Since then, I have unearthed some options that help to keep what were former symptoms in balance. I use Holy Basil, also known as tulsi, for stress, GABA (gamma amino butyric acid) for panic attacks, and the DHA fraction of fish oil for anger management (I have found that my sudden-onset anger is imbalanced brain biochemistry). Also 20,000units of vitamin D3 can help less-than-sunny moods, formerly known as depression.

      At the store, I can share my personal findings. But I realize that others will have a different biochemistry, and that my solutions may not have universal application. However, many customers at the store have benefited from some of the above suggestions.

      The one helpful supplement that I can't take at all is Sam-E. If there is a bipolar component to someone's depression, Sam-E can cause gastric upset. But if there isn't, some customers say it has really helped.

      Mental illness and emotional imbalance are not to be taken lightly. I understand that the severely ill may need help beyond the nutritional. But a careful combination of both diet and nutrition, because improper diet can profoundly impact mood, can help balance emotional imbalance for many. Sugar Blues is for real! The rollercoaster ride that a high-sugar diet puts some people on can be an emotional and physical health disaster.

      I hope those with mental illness and severe emotional suffering find help, wherever they can. Mental illness is a disease that can destroy lives, as I well know.

      Thanks for the diary and for being so open about your situation. I'm glad you have found relief.

      Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations. ~ George Orwell

      by 4Freedom on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 07:43:58 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  My partner (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        blueoasis, glitterscale, 4Freedom

        has tried amitriptyline and nortriptyline with similar side effects, that usually start after the same time period. We are learning that any "blocker" tends to be a problem. Thus, things he wanted to take for FM, including pregabalin, lyrica, and especially neurontin caused a lot of physical problems. It turns out that the FM (in his case) is most likely caused by immune dysfunction and activated Zoster/possibly other herpes anyway, as his FM went away when a bout of viral meningitis was treated with lots of acyclovir.

        We haven't been able to figure out why the immune dysfunction is occurring. It might be related to ADHD/PTSD, or it might be related to other drugs, such as klonipin (which he no longer takes, for ineffectivity).

        He's been referred to an infectious disease specialist, but once they heard "fibromyalgia" some switch clicked off and they can barely be bothered to schedule a single appointment (they're mostly HIV specialists anyway). I guess I will have to find one who supports the virus idea and isn't necessarily on my insurance. But we will try the non-believers first.

        Misconduct by the government is by definition NOT a government secret.

        by Doug in SF on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 10:36:55 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  Thanks in peace for your suggestion... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      ...but I have been down that blind alley for years. Great apologies to you and everyone for delayed responses, but that is what you get with a bipolar person. Sometimes, I'm just not here.

  •  Hugs. Great diary, I am mentally ill as well (19+ / 0-)

    and luckily have not been greatly stigmatized by it apart from being on disability which i is a plus but puts me out of the closet with some whom i rather didn't know lol

    The only thing we can do is keep going on going on.

    Barack Obama: "These guys want to be paid like rock stars when all they're doing is lip-synching capitalism." may21, 2010

    by vc2 on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 05:14:43 AM PST

  •  AZ, (9+ / 0-)

    I have to say that I don't exactly know what you're going through but I will say there have been times in my life that I thought I was having a nervous breakdown.

    Sometimes the answers to what is going on in our brains is not easy to find, especially when doctors prescribe you drugs just to suppress the illness. I do believe that the answers can be found within ourselves, though the road to get there is not clear.

    It is important that you have people around you that support you and are there for you when things seem to close in on you and you don't know what to do. For myself, being a loner, I haven't always had that, so instead I've turned to God for the answers, who with his unconditional love, as always helped me to pull through.

    I have tried to commit suicide at least a dozen times in my life, never succeeding, thankfully because I found out sometime later that things do get better and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, though it may be difficult to see when your eyes are blinded by tears and covered over with fear.

    Have courage and don't let what is going on in your head and around you affect what you do. I turn to a story about Jesus when things get rough in my life. One time he slept at the bottom of the boat that he and his disciples were in while a storm raged around them. The disciples, in fear for their lives, woke him so he would do something. He told them they had such little faith and he rebuked the storm and the storm went away.

    The main point is, he slept through the storm because he knew he had nothing to fear. He only rebuked it and made it go away because of the fear in the hearts of his disciples. Otherwise, he would have continued to sleep peacefully.

    So when the waters rage around you, stay calm and realize you will pull through and the storm will eventually come to its end.

    Rule the Day, Let not the Day Rule You.

    by fidlerten on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 05:48:37 AM PST

  •  I hope you feel better every day. (10+ / 0-)

    “Conservation… is a positive exercise of skill and insight, not merely a negative exercise of abstinence and caution…” Aldo Leopold

    by ban nock on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 06:17:29 AM PST

  •  AZ, thanks. (32+ / 0-)

    I begin to understand just how little I understand mental illness.  I realize how reliable my head has been all these years, a ground zero I can always get back to; take for granted.  I suspect most of us who would call themselves "normal"  (whatever THAT means) simply are unable to get what it means to lack that reliable center.  What a gift having that is.

    Thanks for trying to signal across the void, using the imperfect code of words.  You show that the void is there,  even though many of us can't see it.  I hear you.

    don't always believe what you think

    by claude on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 06:25:04 AM PST

  •  This is the very least society can do (25+ / 0-)

    Treat the mentally ill as

    someone who has an illness, not someone who is that illness
    Peace, AZ.
  •  It took a lot of courage (27+ / 0-)

    to write this diary.  Not only are you, as Claude wrote above, signaling across the void, you're speaking for a crowd of people the media currently groups as a faceless, voiceless "other" that must be feared.  

    You're also speaking for yourself as an individual.  You'll need all your strength and courage to be the man with an illness, not the man defined by his illness.  Knowing where you're going is at least half the journey.

    "I speak the truth, not as much as I would, but as much as I dare, and I dare a little the more, as I grow older." --Montaigne

    by DrLori on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 06:51:27 AM PST

  •  Great, timely diary. (19+ / 0-)

    This remark right here:

    Psychiatric drugs tend to treat the symptoms other people want suppressed while leaving the patient suffering from both the emotional load of the disorder and side-effects of medication that are often worse than the underlying illness.
    says a lot. There are many themes in it to pursue.

    One thing it says to me, is that besides needing a new paradigm of mental health treatment--one geared toward the patient's actual best interests, not society's comfort--we need better drugs. The stuff we prescribe for "major mood disorders," a lot of it, has been around since the 1950s. No wonder people go off it because they don't like the side effects.

    It's here they got the range/ and the machinery for change/ and it's here they got the spiritual thirst. --Leonard Cohen

    by karmsy on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 07:26:08 AM PST

    •  At the risk of sounding repetitive (7+ / 0-)

      I believe medical cannibis has a lot to offer PTSD patients. Can't stress enough how important this research is, IMO. It's not about remembering and processing trauma, it's about the forgetting.

      Free Software, Free Society - : Debian, not a company -

      by eyo on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 07:36:50 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Above I posted some non-drug options (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      DaNang65, karmsy, fidlerten, petral

      that might help with emotional disorders.

      One older woman who took GABA for panic attacks said it changed her life back to "her old self".

      Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations. ~ George Orwell

      by 4Freedom on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 07:46:09 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Well, yes and no. Lithium is still the mood (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      karmsy, buddabelly, postmodernista

      stabilizer of choice because it's the most effective and best tolerated for the most people. There are some newer ones, and they're GREAT for the people they work for, but Li is still the most likely to work best.

      The new atypical antipsychotics have changed a lot of things for a lot of people. My wife's BP NOS w/ psychotic features, so we've been through a bunch of them- turns out that she's not tolerating any of them very well, so it's looking like we're going back to a classical. Sort of a blunt tool, but better than the alternative.

      The remark that you quoted- gotta tell ya, I disagree. Sure, some people like their manic phases, but even those folk will admit that mania is more damaging than depression. It's just got that high on life or maybe meth sorta feel to it.

       I don't think I've ever met anybody ( and I've been visiting inpatient facilities for twenty plus years) that would choose to hang on to their psychosis.

      •  So happens (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Remembering Jello

        many members of the deaf community will NOT have the cochlear implants, not because of medical contra-indications that apply to them, but because getting the implant "reinforces the notion that there is something about them that needs 'fixing.'"


        It's so, so personal. Who is somebody else, ever, to decide that a "mentally ill" person needs "help"?

        It's here they got the range/ and the machinery for change/ and it's here they got the spiritual thirst. --Leonard Cohen

        by karmsy on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 08:13:27 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Barring illegal or obviously self-destructive (5+ / 0-)

          behavior, nobody.

          But honestly, major mental illness is extremely uncomfortable. Loads of folk will refuse treatment during a manic phase- they feel great, why would they want this to stop?

          Psychosis and major depression are less fun. I know loads of folk who are constantly balancing tolerablity of side effects against tolerability of symptoms.

          But again, don't think I've met one who would hold onto negative symptoms, given a side effect free way out.

          It'd be kinda like refusing treatment for cancer because, ya know, it's inside ya.

          But no, treatment should never be forced, and ultimately the patient should make all decisions.

          I will make exceptions for emergency situations- sometimes someone will need a little treatment before they can make competant medical decisions. Same way I would want a heart attack treated, even if the patient were unconscious and thus could not give consent.

    •  Definitely need a framework for best interests. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      blueoasis, a gilas girl

      I know someone who KNOWS the social and legal effects of being put on a psych hold ever would be a near-unfightable push to suicide.

      And this person is depressed and can't get professional help because one misinterpreted statement or one case of being a little too open to the wrong person could be fatal. Period.

      Everyone in the cobbled-together unprofessional support structure, including me, is going to be blamed if this person is ever low enough to attempt suicide. For not bringing that about sooner. (Situation is getting better, not worse, and I have no reasonable grounds to believe this person is or is ever going to be at true risk - unless someone Makes The Call.)

      We have ways of reporting potentially fatal drug sensitivities. Even drug sensitivities that will never be fatal. We have no way of letting someone report that a non-drug treatment will have worse effects on them than the population norm, and have that considered during treatment planning in any way unless they are legally and physically capable of effective complete non-consent at the time of treatment. Even if the 'worse effects' include panic triggers, PTSD triggers, or removal of reasons to stay alive.

      •  This ^^^ (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Cassandra Waites

        sounds like a diagnosis of me a few years back.

        Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds. --Elie Wiesel

        by a gilas girl on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 11:45:29 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  We were in college right when people were being (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          a gilas girl, oslyn7

          forcibly medically withdrawn over depression so their colleges wouldn't have to deal with the legal aftermath of 'why didn't you do anything?' if they committed suicide. 'We sent them home and told them to go get help or we wouldn't let them complete their degrees,' was considered a reasonable CYA story.

          No one seems to have thought of what the message 'if anyone thinks you might be suicidal, you will lose your current semester's work, you may not be permitted to re-enter school until you have absolutely perfect mental health, you may fall off your parent's medical insurance and will likely be individually uninsurable for life, your loans are probably going to come due sooner than you planned, and you will lose contact with any local support system you may have built yourself' would do to my age cohort. NO ONE was going to go to the college psych office for help with anything that might be interpreted as non-bipolar depression unless they were completely suicidal already, and at that point why go? And we weren't even going to schools that had pulled that nastiness on someone - it was just in the news practically every semester.

          And that was on top of some people already having a pretty good idea of the effects being medically captive for a suicide-watch psych hold would have on their minds and not being willing to take the slightest chance of that to start with.

          It really doesn't help, either, that society has developed such a stigma against talking about suicide in anything but a general prevention sense that listing off things you think might push you towards it is probably more likely to be seen as a 'this person is a suicide risk' thing than a 'this person has a strong desire to live, has analyzed what is required for them to maintain it, and is actively seeking to make that possible' which is pretty much the exact opposite.


          My sexual orientation, asexuality, has a surveyed suicidal ideation rate (not planning, not attempting, just thinking about it) that has been as high as 70%. Which means any relationship with two of us in it may well have a 9% rate of neither having done so. These things are probably why our community doesn't generally discuss anything dealing with suicide - all it takes is one person mistaking a mention of idle ideation for actual serious 'I may do this' planning and someone's life is disrupted in dangerous ways. Oh and since asexuality can get misinterpreted as sex drive suppression arising from depression, that disruption may likely include therapy intended to change someone's orientation.

          It really needs to be safe for us to talk.

  •  Thank you for this diary. All the best to you. NT (8+ / 0-)

    "The true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals." - Barack Obama

    by HeyMikey on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 07:28:01 AM PST

  •  Labelled mentally ill (7+ / 0-)

    I guess this is me coming out now too. Thanks AZ.

    In my mind it was the rest of the world that went crazy, not me. One reason I stayed off the internets for so long was understanding what data warehousing did to personal privacy. Tin-foil hat tip to Ed Snowden, turns out I wasn't that paranoid.

    Free Software, Free Society - : Debian, not a company -

    by eyo on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 07:29:44 AM PST

  •  Thanks, I'm glad you wrote this diary and I wish.. (9+ / 0-) health and peace in your days and nights so you choose to write more.

  •  My sister was schizo-affective (7+ / 0-)

    Your description of your life with mental illness reminds me of many of the things she told me. She too did not get diagnosed or the help she needed until later in life, she too hated lables. My youngest sister, for reasons she would not explain, spent 31 years estranged from her. My mentally ill sister died without ever having the chance to speak to her.

    We had a close, loving relationship for 10 years following her diagnosis and treatment with meds until her death. I miss her very much.

    Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead -

    by FlamingoGrrl on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 08:22:45 AM PST

  •  Congratulations on coming out of the closet. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    fidlerten, blueoasis, a gilas girl

    I wish the millions of others who experience SMI would join you to let the world know that you are not our country's problem with violence. A few months back I posted a diary detailing the data on SMI and violence that totally backs up your point.

    Articulate posts like yours can only help the cause. Keep writing and good luck.

    "There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats ..." - Kenneth Grahame -

    by RonK on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 08:34:51 AM PST

  •  I cannot express (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    eyo, fidlerten, a gilas girl

    how much your diary resonated with me.

    Thank you.

    Anyone who scoffs at happiness needs to take their soul back to the factory and demand a better one. -driftglass

    by postmodernista on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 08:39:03 AM PST

  •  I hope this doesn't de-volve in to problem-solving (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    fidlerten, blueoasis, a gilas girl, JayBat

    Too late. Please don't assume we have or haven't tried whatever your pet method is for mental health recovery.

    If it works for you that's great. Share what works for you, but don't write like you assume it will work for me, or I have not tried it hard enough, or whatever. Thanks.

    Free Software, Free Society - : Debian, not a company -

    by eyo on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 08:47:31 AM PST

  •  Bipolar is treatable, (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Catte Nappe, fidlerten, blueoasis

    not curable.  Well, the symptoms are treatable, at least the symptoms that, as you say, society wants treated.  Not an enviable situation to be in.  Please take care of yourself as best you can.

    I could offer some ray of hope, psychiatry is making progress in leaps and bounds with newer, more targeted drugs.  Perhaps within the next decade or two, we may have a drug that allows a person to go through natural, but controlled, cycles of lows and highs.  Because artificially putting someone on a permanent plateau of 'sort-of-ok' is inhumane, IMHO.

    190 milliseconds....

    by Kingsmeg on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 08:56:21 AM PST

    •  Oh God, you know this isn't how it works, right? (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      a gilas girl, dfarrah
      Because artificially putting someone on a permanent plateau of 'sort-of-ok' is inhumane, IMHO.
      Somebody starting a mood regulator will certainly seem flatter than they did- That's kinda the point of the medication.

      But that's because normal mood range is much more limited than what that person had been experiencing.

      People on mood stabilizers still have moods. We have good days and bad days. Just like everybody else.

      we may have a drug that allows a person to go through natural, but controlled, cycles of lows and highs.
      We do. Lithium, lamictal, host of others.

      Sure, people who have been experiencing extreme mood lability will feel "flattened" by a mood stabilizer, and they have been- right into normal range, with any luck.

  •  I think it's very important for those of us (10+ / 0-)

    who live with serious mental illness to be "out of the closet" about it - so mazel tov!

    It's difficult to get the right diagnosis  because it's all so personal, the different schools of thought - the biases of the doctors we work with - there are a lot of factors involved.  

    In the end, we are the ones who have to live with it.

    I too waited far too late in life to seek treatment and wore out the ability I had physically and emotionally to cope with the reality I lived in - largely to avoid the stigma affecting my ability to work.  Now I live with the results of those choices as well.

    I have a formal diagnosis of schizophrenia with some PTSD.  It won't ever go away.  There is no cure.  You can't think you way out of it or talk therapy your way past them.  

    Some medication does help me greatly, but not all.  But I am more than just my illness - and in some ways my illness has allowed me a valuable view of the world - that is workable with proper treatment.  I wear glasses, I take pills.  I self check regularly to make sure I'm not headed back down the rabbit hole.  And I live my life as best I can.

    Best of luck to you.

    I'm so fat! Oh, they're going to love me, I'm so marbled! - Jack LeMans, Bounty Killer

    by Mortifyd on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 09:31:51 AM PST

  •  Never thought of it this way, but true (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Lily O Lady, a gilas girl, JayBat, oslyn7
    Psychiatric drugs tend to treat the symptoms other people want suppressed while leaving the patient suffering from both the emotional load of the disorder and side-effects of medication that are often worse than the underlying illness.  
  •  Wow. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    blueoasis, Dave in Northridge

    Hats off, posting this took courage. T&R, and one additional remark: 'normal' is both overrated and impossible to define.

    Be true to yourself, treat others the way you would like to be treated, and never accept that you need to meet anyone's expectations but your own and those of your conscience.

    That's as close to 'normal' as any of us can hope to get.

    Fuck me, it's a leprechaun.

    by MBNYC on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 10:48:46 AM PST

  •  As a treatment provider, thank you. (3+ / 0-)

    I have had conversations with my own patients about self-disclosure and how much they want to share with the rest of the world regarding their illness. We still live in a society that stigmatizes even what are considered common disorders such as unipolar depression and anxiety, let alone SMI such as psychotic disorders.

    I wish you the best of health and completely agree with this statement:

    Psychiatric drugs tend to treat the symptoms other people want suppressed while leaving the patient suffering from both the emotional load of the disorder and side-effects of medication that are often worse than the underlying illness.

    Slowly but surely I think we are making progress but that is small comfort to someone who is currently dealing with SMI. But again thank you for sharing your story.

    It's the Central Limit Theorem, Stupid!

    by smartdemmg on Fri Jan 03, 2014 at 11:26:06 AM PST

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