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I forced myself to leave my apartment today.

I'm not agoraphobic or anything.  At least I don't think so...?

I just usually do not leave the house on my days off.

In fact, I am trying to remember the last time I voluntarily went out on a day off and it was so long ago I cannot remember.

It may have been years.

For some reason today I actually got dressed and went outside and moved around among people for several hours this morning.  And it was not for a work emergency, or other urgent meeting, which is usually what it takes to get me to leave home on my day off.  I had banking to do and some packages to take to the post office, but normally I would have just waited until later in the week when I had to go out for work.

Instead I made myself get it done today.  Partly because the rest of the week is going to be busy so I am trying to make the rest of the week easier, but mainly to make an effort to fight the urge to isolate.

Usually when I have a day off, I sleep as much of the day as possible.  That is the best part of having a day off—the part I look forward to the most.  Not having to get dressed or go anywhere, and being able to spend a lot of the day on the computer.

I sleep late, I get up and play my favorite computer games, I check my email, I read Daily Kos, I listen to the radio.

I have breakfast in the early afternoon.  At 3:00 I sleep for four or five hours.  I get up in the evening and get back on the computer.  Read dK again, solve a few very hard sudoku puzzles. I make an effort to have dinner before Rachel comes on, but do not always succeed.  Then maybe I watch a few of my many TiVOed episodes of Colbert.  If I have the next day off, I may stay up until the wee small hours.

If the phone rings I do not answer it, except for my best friend who usually calls me from the subway on her way to work.  On Mondays, a day we usually both have off, we might talk for a while in the early afternoon before my nap time, or in the evening after dinner.

I did not talk to her today.

I am in a serious isolation period right now.  It's been going on for months.  The rational me keeps urging me to fight it, and the depressed part of me just doesn't have the energy,

Family and friends are sending me texts and emails asking how I am doing, posting on my Facebook wall which I never check, calling and leave me messages, and I do not respond to them.  At this stage some of them are beginning to worry.  "I know something is wrong when you don't get back to me.  Call me and let me know you are OK."   They know that when I get depressed I isolate myself from everyone.  It is a stupid behavior pattern—I avoid human contact and then complain about being lonely.  But that is part of the whole syndrome.

I know I "should" make phone calls and connect with friends.  I know I "should" say yes when people call and ask me to go to the movies, or meet them for lunch, or even offer to just come to my office with two cups of take out coffee.  I know I "should" be grateful to HAVE friends, and people who care!   But I am sad, and don't want to be with people when I am sad, but the isolation makes me sadder.  I keep saying I will call my friends when I feel better, because no one wants to hear my tale of woe when I am down in the dumps like this.  But if I wait to feel better before I connect with people, I may never feel better and never connect, and I know for a fact that connection could make me feel better.  

It is a vicious circle.  

I am acutely aware that my seven year grief anniversary is coming up in a few weeks.  It is a day I am going to be very busy with a special event and surrounded by people for more than 12 hours.  I am already dreading the need to put on a happy face for that day.  I am already dreading the need to even be out among people that day.

But maybe all the busyness scheduled for the approaching anniversary day is a gift.  Rather than being at home going between the bathroom and the bedroom and the computer and the kitchen and watching my yahrzeit candle burn, I'll have to be out and about from early morning until well into the evening.

Instead of just isolating with my memories, I will be forced to watch life go on.

Welcome, fellow travelers on the grief journey
and a special welcome to anyone new to The Grieving Room.
We meet every Monday evening.
Whether your loss is recent, or many years ago;
whether you've lost a person, or a pet;
or even if the person you're "mourning" is still alive,
("pre-grief" can be a very lonely and confusing time),
you can come to this diary and say whatever you need to say.
We can't solve each other's problems,
but we can be a sounding board and a place of connection.
Unlike a private journal
here, you know: your words are read by people who
have been through their own hell.
There's no need to pretty it up or tone it down..
It just is.
Maybe that is as it should be.
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Comment Preferences

  •  Please share whatever you need to share (31+ / 0-)

    even if it has nothing to do with the subject of the diary.

    current hosting schedule for TGR:

    1/20   OPEN
    1/27   OPEN
    2/3     OPEN
    2/10   TrueBlueMajority
    2/17   James Wells
    2/24   OPEN
    3/3     OPEN
    3/10   OPEN
    3/17   OPEN
    3/24   OPEN
    3/31   TrueBlueMajority

    all dates OPEN after March 31

    If you have a grief anniversary or other significant date coming up, and would like to write a diary for a particular Monday, please post a comment in this diary asking for the date you want, and/or send me a kosmail.

    The Grieving Room is open for discussion.   What is on your mind and heart tonight?

    Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
    Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

    by TrueBlueMajority on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 05:20:07 PM PST

  •  Wow, I thought I was the only one. I force myself (22+ / 0-)

    to go out at least once a week and that is a major achievement. I am just too sad to want to put on a happy face and make small talk with casual acquaintances or serious talk with close friends or family members.

    Last Wednesday I had to put down my cat. And even though the loss of the second cat within six month does not rise to the level of losing my brother or my husband, I think the cumulative total loss has just plummeted me into the depths of sadness. Tinker Toy made me laugh. This house just keeps getting bigger and bigger as the occupants become fewer. But I don't want to leave it.

    And so I too, isolate myself. It doesn't help any, but then again, it doesn't hurt as much as pretending to enjoy life would.

  •  I worry a lot about my mom (21+ / 0-)

    I think she is, like you, kind of bordering on agoraphobic.

    There's just too much grief. I just wrote another comment about how it's most comfortable for me to withdraw. And I am withdrawing, and withdrawing, and withdrawing.....

    But so is my mom. We usually talk on the phone two or three times a week, but lately we've gone two weeks without talking and when we do, it's short and devoid of meaning.

    I was drunk last time I talked to her and barely remember the conversation. Sometimes I think I'm slipping, slipping ever so slowly into that which I've fought for so long. And the hardest part is knowing that I can't help her. I can't save her. She wants nothing more than to have her family back.

    And we both know it will never happen, so our grip on each other becomes ever more tenuous.

    P.S. I am not a crackpot.

    by BoiseBlue on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 06:27:17 PM PST

    •  withdrawing feeds on itself (13+ / 0-)

      but it is so hard to fight against it

      the word agoraphobia flew off my fingers and I almost deleted it until I realize there have been days in the last few years when I suddenly canceled all my meetings and refused to leave the house.  I couldn't even explain it to myself--I just did not have the energy to be out among people.

      withdrawing does feel more comfortable.  it takes everything I have to break out of the cocoon sometimes, and I only do it for other people's benefit.  Not my own.

      Today was the first time I went out for my own benefit.  But it took so much out of me I don't know when I will do it again.

      I used to look for and save up little innocuous things to talk to my mom about, and she did the same.  It was a way of maintaining contact when we could not talk about the serious stuff.

      Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
      Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

      by TrueBlueMajority on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 07:25:51 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  In spite of my wonderful Tonia, (11+ / 0-)

    keeping me safe from fear,
    should I say,
    doing everything
    I would ever hope for,
    to keep me safe from my fears,
    I actually have troubles,
    similar to yours,
    nearly every day off.

    My solutions:

    1. Write a list
    of things to do,
    interesting projects.

    2. Make a pot of strong coffee,
    and start sipping on it.

    3. I used to walk the dog,
    for a very long walk.

    My furthest was
    three miles,
    total round trip.

    my projects usually involve
    cooking a big batch of food
    for my family.

    Just a couple of hours ago,
    I cooked ham and cheese grilled sandwiches,
    for four people,
    and scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon,
    for myself,
    along with my special red beer.

    I know you have no one in your apartment,
    so you can't do
    exactly what I do.

    maybe you can figure out
    where you can cook for someone.

    even if your home town
    has a free meal soup kitchen already,
    I would think
    if I was in your situation,
    with church connections,
    church influence,
    I'd start my own soup kitchen,
    and get lots of volunteers signed up,
    and lots of wealthy donors buying the food ingredients,
    and I'd start small,
    with the goal of,
    having a 24/7/365
    drop in and eat,
    drop in and get counseling,
    rehab counseling,
    emotional and mental health counseling,
    etc. center.

    Friends to eat beside,
    play computer games with,

    I'm saying you single folk,
    should build a family
    from your community,
    so you can have some of what I have,
    with my wonderful family.

    Famine in America by 2050: the post-peak oil American apocalypse.

    by bigjacbigjacbigjac on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 06:34:46 PM PST

    •  i think people come (10+ / 0-)

      to the one meal per week we do have at church is to see each other and create a sub-community.

      interestingly, I have had trouble going to the Wednesday meal lately also.  I have not been to it for a month.

      Just being among people and trying not to show them how sad I am is exhausting.

      but I hear what you are saying, bigjac3.  you were so good about getting out and finding someone for yourself and I envy that, as I have told you many times.

      I want to have the energy to take action and reach out.  I don't know where it will come from, though.  Today was a surprise.

      It left me drained, though.  Still, I will force myself to do it again.  Like taking nasty-tasting medicine because you know it is saving your life.

      Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
      Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

      by TrueBlueMajority on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 07:30:45 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  As I recall, I was not good about (6+ / 0-)

        getting out.

        Certain folks came to me,
        to use my apartment,
        as a place to stay,
        a place with all utilities working,
        and food in the fridge,

        One of them,
        turned out to be a keeper,
        since she pitched in with money,
        and had her eye on me,

        You know I'm an adamant non-believer,
        but you also should know,
        I love the Bible,
        from my point of view,
        the Bible is a collection of wisdom writings,
        much of it,
        most of it,
        in the form of parables.

        some of it is pretty much
        straight forward
        good advice.

        to use the advice,
        you must take out the supernatural god,
        and insert ordinary humans.

        One such piece of advice is,

        "You have not,
        because you ask not."

        You don't have someone sitting beside you,
        face to face,
        listening to you speak of your emotional pain,
        someone to give you a hug,
        and a few words,
        maybe no advice,
        "I'm here,
        connecting with your emotional pain,
        and wishing you better days."

        You don't have that,
        because you are afraid to ask for that.

        since I don't know your friends,
        you could be right;
        you may not have any friends
        who are
        and able,
        to step up,
        sit down,
        and properly console you.

        I don't know.

        But you certainly won't get that
        if you don't ask for it.

        What do you think about that?

        Famine in America by 2050: the post-peak oil American apocalypse.

        by bigjacbigjacbigjac on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 08:09:55 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  Isolation is part of it, and you have to fight it. (13+ / 0-)

    I've been fighting the blues as it comes up on the one year anniversary of Terun's death--perhaps because we're already into one year since he was on a ventilator in the ICU.

    Seeing people I work with, or my fishmonger at the local market with whom I love to banter though we really don't know one another doesn't cut it. Gotta connect with people you know and love. Or at least know and like. ;)

    I know it's hard, TBM. Many of us love and care about you, and in that spirit, thank you for sharing something so very personal with the community. You, of all people, know how very healing that can be. But I also know, as you do, theory and practice are often two different things when it comes to grief, loneliness, and the depression which accompanies it.

    I've got to give a shout-out to my Lodge brothers though. I was down there tonight with them (we have a busy schedule of candidates, so I'll be down there a lot) and those guys are amazing. It was great to see them tonight, and I feel much better for being seriously involved with my Lodge (I'm an officer). Over the last year it has forced me to see people when I would rather not. People I know I can count on, even more so than my church family.

    Pope Francis: the Thumb of Christ in the eyes of the Pharisees.

    by commonmass on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 06:46:47 PM PST

    •  Being within that sad anniversary time is so tough (13+ / 0-)

      And sometimes a way to focus on the last day your loved one was alive. Or not ill. Or the last special day you spent together. I'll keep you in my thoughts during this time. I remember the first anniversary feeling like a perfect demonstration of Einstein's Relativity in that it seemed like my dear Mimi had JUST died and yet it also seemed like so long since I had seen her.

      I'm here tonight because I'm heading into a hard situation. A friend for almost 40 years has just been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer that has already spread to her liver. She started feeling "off" in October and although I was worried about her, this diagnosis is a total shock. No surgical option, and chemo is not seen as a cure for pancreatic cancer, just a way to get more time. She and I have traveled all over cooking for Buddhist lamas and retreat groups. We spent a month in Brazil cooking for American lamas that were living in Brazil and really needed some Mexican food. It was a wild adventure and one of the highlights of my life. She is also a person who has taken care of so many people through the years that she is now surrounded by oceans of love and prayers. There is still the semblance of normal life but I know that is going to change and although some days will be better than others, the arc is bending down. I'm sure I'll be wanting to write some Grieving Room diaries soon to help me process this experience and get everybody's wonderful advice.

      Try Organic food, or as your grandparents called it, food.

      by madame damnable on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 07:20:26 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  {{{{{{{{{Bill}}}}}}}}} (10+ / 0-)

      you have made it through a very hard year with the help and the love of so many who care about you.  when February 8 comes I hope you wrap yourself up in your love quilt.

      i'm so glad you have your Lodge Brothers and they help keep you from isolating.  that's the kind of community connection we all need to survive and thrive in the face of grief.

      that small talk with the fishmonger and the bank teller and the letter carrier only seems to highlight my loneliness.  I've turned into one of those lonely old ladies who chats up strangers on the bus!

      Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
      Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

      by TrueBlueMajority on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 07:41:50 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Your last para made me LOL (3+ / 0-)

        and it's 5:51 AM here. When I go out (and there are always credible excuses to NOT GO OUT) I can chat with anyone. About anything.

        How do you like this car model? Weather always works. Talking about new gardens catalogs can work. Articles in NYT works.

        I have to call my PCP today about trying to get Xanax for a trip to KY next week to see my just-turned-94 mother. That will probably require renting a car, and then my sister and I coming to terms about what to do with a 94 y/o with seizure disorder and now maybe lung cancer. I will be flying for the first time since I saw my mother for my 60th B-day last March.

        Lonely, lonely, lonely. And I think that I have huge barriers up, about trust and obligations and sufficiency.

        Americans, while occasionally willing to be serfs, have always been obstinate about being peasantry. F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Great Gatsby

        by riverlover on Tue Jan 14, 2014 at 03:02:07 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  trust and obligations and sufficiency (4+ / 0-)

          that is HUGE.  i want to ask my friends for help but then I worry that 1) they will only help me out of obligation, and I will be another item on someone else's already overburdened to do list, or 2) after they help me I will feel obligated to them which may mean having to leave my house some day when I am desperate for a day off!

          plus I was raised as an only child with a mother who was practically a child herself, so I was self-sufficient early (too early).  self-sufficiency is a first-choice habit that sometimes does me a disservice.  when most people would be likely to reach out or at least let people know they are struggling, I middle through alone and tell people afterward--oh i didn;t call you because I was having a very hard time last week, and of course they say "why didn't you CALL me?"

          and my answer is... I don't know...

          Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
          Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

          by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Jan 14, 2014 at 05:29:56 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  On days when I don't have some external (13+ / 0-)

    pressure (either work or my kid's crew team responsibilities) I stay in bed.  I have so completely isolated myself that I don't even leave my bedroom, much less my apartment.

    It is a pattern and I see it returning, and I know it is dangerous but still I fall into it.  Leaving, seeing people, just doing something requires more energy than I have and more heart, too.

    Happened to me the last time I had to come to terms with a major loss.

    As Susan from 29 has pointed out, I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who does this self-isolation thing.

    Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds. --Elie Wiesel

    by a gilas girl on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 07:18:39 PM PST

  •  I can usually simulate (8+ / 0-) intact human being for about 90 minutes at a time.  Enough to put in an appearance at some place I'm expected.  

    Then I go home.  But I'm alone either way.

    America, we can do better than this...

    by Randomfactor on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 07:53:53 PM PST

  •  I just made a comment (10+ / 0-)

    in Jill Richardson's introversion diary, that I'm an introvert to the core.  

    I think for those of us to whom being alone comes naturally, it's extremely easy to slip across the boundary from introversion to isolation, particularly when we're stressed or grieving.

    I'm dealing with a lot of changes in my life lately--a new job halfway across the country from the city where I've lived most of my adult life, and where my mom (who was just booted off hospice--she'll outlive us all!) still lives.  

    Yet another move, this time with someone special, but not knowing when his place will sell, or where we're going when it does.  Trying to balance my need to have a life with my obligation to my mom, missing the familiarity and support system I had.  It's enough to make me want to just shut down sometimes.  

    But as bigjac3 noted, lists are your friend.  Even if they need to start with: "take a shower,"  so you can cross at least one item off before you call it a day.

    One foot in front of the other, and let yourself be sad when you need to be sad.  On a divorce website (yeah, I score pretty high on those 'life stress' quizzes) a woman said she gives herself a set time every day to cry, scream, wallow in her pain.  I'm not so sure grief of any stripe can be that contained, or maybe I'm not that disciplined, but the idea of compartmentalizing does have some attraction.

    There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

    by puzzled on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 07:54:16 PM PST

  •  Jan 27th (6+ / 0-)

    Why don't I take this. It is close to my Late Dad's birthday and I have an idea for it.

    "A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." Oscar Wilde

    by michelewln on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 08:49:09 PM PST

  •  Dear TBM, I feel presumptuous (4+ / 0-)

    to step in here, however briefly, to tell you anything. But what would you counsel a church member to do in your situation? You know, sometimes that distance is just enough to help remind us that WE (that is, I ;) deserve the same kind of attention and love as someone else we care about.
    Yes, I totally endorse what bigjac wrote above: let your friends love you. You know you love them back, and you'd do this for them, too.
    I saw two old, dear, friends of mine today, after not seeing either of them for months (and I live literally around the corner from one of them). With one I had a light-hearted conversation, with the other it was much more intense. But how uplifted I feel now, having had these interactions. I hope I can remember this and continue to reach out when I start to feel reclusive.
    I am saddened to read of the other sorrow-carrying souls here in the thread. There seems to be so little we can do here except listen. I hope that's enough.
    Peace and tenderness to people who are aching.

    Support Small Business: Shop Kos Katalogue If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

    by peregrine kate on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 09:53:48 PM PST

    •  the shoemaker's children go barefoot (4+ / 0-)

      my own counselor asks me the same thing all the time.

      what would you tell a parishioner who said the same thing to you?

      i am good about helping others reach out for their sake.  but doing it for myself is a whole different thing.

      let my friends love me.  i am putting more focus on that this year.  being honest about my need for it here is my first step

      peace and tenderness to those who are aching--I love that.  everyone needs that

      Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
      Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

      by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Jan 14, 2014 at 05:34:58 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Greetings and salutations. (5+ / 0-)

    Don't know any of you, except as occasional commenting characters from here. But most I've learned some things from, maybe just more about humanity and finding peace in moments. I respect you for that - when I see certain DK-names there's a resonance of betterment: "yeah, that person is out there, somewhere, thinking, and living, and commenting on a blog. Might never meet them, but the world is enriched with them out there, somewhere."

    From one loner, it's good to know you're out there.

    Zappa on Crossfire: / "Love it when you froth like that." / "Yes, Mister Zappa."

    by yojimbo on Mon Jan 13, 2014 at 10:39:37 PM PST

  •  So sometimes I get devious thoughts. (4+ / 0-)

    And yes, I have stirred a few pots in my life.

    So here is the setup: I have a cottage in Canada, with a dock on a bay. And I can see NY from my window! Now understand that said cottage is 3-4 hours by car from my other house, and it is a challenge for me to drive that, dealing with a dog who has learned "born free" up there.

    Anyway, observation is that my "bay" is gentrified. McMansions that I can look at. And those houses tend to go entirely against my idea of having a cottage. I go to watch the water, see the birds, hear the birds, see the flowers and the trees. NOT to listen to country music from outside speakers, from Canadians  !

    I have a Boom-box up there (no functional TV, no computer access, only cell phone to call back to the US). I am going to cut Otis Redding's song, 'sitting on the dock' and go out to my dock and play music wars at least once this summer.                              

    Americans, while occasionally willing to be serfs, have always been obstinate about being peasantry. F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Great Gatsby

    by riverlover on Tue Jan 14, 2014 at 03:21:55 AM PST

    •  That will still make me isolated (4+ / 0-)

      but it's the best small battle for me. At least the best one I have come up with. I try to be a good Canadian when I am there, I have friends there, but things changed after my husband died and I haven't come to terms with all those changes.

      Cottage will go on the market this spring, many reasons for that, including that neither of my children are passionate about it anymore.

      Americans, while occasionally willing to be serfs, have always been obstinate about being peasantry. F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Great Gatsby

      by riverlover on Tue Jan 14, 2014 at 03:37:32 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  that place is real? cool (4+ / 0-)

        i thought you were describing a fantasy getaway

        i do believe some kinds of isolation can be healing.  solitude that is sought out and enjoyed can be meditative and refreshing.

        feeling trapped by an isolation habit is another thing altogether

        Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
        Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

        by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Jan 14, 2014 at 05:41:08 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  No, it's for real (4+ / 0-)

          and seems to have survived another ice storm. Am I meditative there? Sometimes. There are 15 years invested in that place, both emotionally and monetarily.

          And my dock on the bay was where I graced the seaway with the majority of my husband's cremains. And watched them drift toward the Atlantic Ocean. Gone the next day.
          I feel less emprisoned to have done my stewardship, and released him.

          Americans, while occasionally willing to be serfs, have always been obstinate about being peasantry. F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Great Gatsby

          by riverlover on Tue Jan 14, 2014 at 07:12:24 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  Wish we could have a meet-up, (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Kit RMP, riverlover

            of TGR bloggers only,
            at your Canadian cabin.

            I could sell some Walmart stock,
            and my wife and I
            could drive up there,

            we could take the train,
            most of the way,
            and rent a car up there.

            Put us up in your cabin,
            once a year,
            or just once,
            before you sell it.

            That's my daydream.

            Famine in America by 2050: the post-peak oil American apocalypse.

            by bigjacbigjacbigjac on Wed Jan 15, 2014 at 03:40:13 AM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  Interesting idea, that. (2+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              bigjacbigjacbigjac, riverlover

              I took a look at information about Netroots Nation upcoming in Detroit, and I can tell you, with my meager budget, that's absolutely not happening for me! Some kind of a get-together for TGR-ers would be a very nice thing, especially if made as "shoe-string" in terms of costs, as possible!

              What I want to know is, who's going to pay for these crimes against humanity that those b@st@rds are perpetrating against the rest of us?

              by Kit RMP on Wed Jan 15, 2014 at 04:35:59 AM PST

              [ Parent ]

              •  If you have a working kitchen, (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                Kit RMP

                we can bring bacon and eggs,
                ham and cheese and bread,
                and that gives us breakfasts
                and grilled ham and cheese lunches.

                We get up at 2 PM,
                so that would cover the day.

                Famine in America by 2050: the post-peak oil American apocalypse.

                by bigjacbigjacbigjac on Wed Jan 15, 2014 at 05:13:03 AM PST

                [ Parent ]

              •  I meant, if the cabin has a kitchen... (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                Kit RMP

                Famine in America by 2050: the post-peak oil American apocalypse.

                by bigjacbigjacbigjac on Wed Jan 15, 2014 at 05:14:50 AM PST

                [ Parent ]

                •  Ok, BJX3 (2+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  Kit RMP, bigjacbigjacbigjac

                  It's a cottage, not a cabin or a camp. That means it has a stove, refrigerator, ancient microwave and non-functional toaster. Cottage, where the used appliances go to die. Hot water, one bathroom, four bedrooms; I guess on the bedroom space I am up. I have more mattresses than beds, because they are hard to get to the dump in a Honda Accord. No washer, I have been thru three, they don't last that long on the back porch, and were all donations from people upgrading.

                  I think you are a ways away, but if you could get into Canada, you could take Via-rail to Kingston and then other arrangements would have to be done.

                  With several others talking about a meetup, I got another mental border crossed. But, thinking about it, it might be another peel off the onion for me. And my outer peels are getting brown.

                  But the big caution is that the water is not warm enough to go in until July, unless you are a kid. I am not sure that I dabbled my toes last year.

                  Americans, while occasionally willing to be serfs, have always been obstinate about being peasantry. F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Great Gatsby

                  by riverlover on Wed Jan 15, 2014 at 02:15:43 PM PST

                  [ Parent ]

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