Sherman, set the wayback machine to a couple of weeks ago, when the last of our halogen torchiere lamps decided it would much rather be horizontal than vertical. We (being my beloved Kitsap River and my self) started shopping for a replacement. The primary criteria were that the lamp was bright enough, and reasonably priced.
Turns out, that particular type of lamp is no longer made. A few years back, Underwriters Laboratories (you know, the people who put all those "UL Approved" tags on electrical appliances) determined that 300-watt halogen bulbs in vertical lamps were a fire hazard and no longer sanctioned their manufacture. Who knew?
We had already bought a torchiere which used CFLs but it wasn't nearly bright enough for our needs. So we scoured the intarwebz for anything similar to what we needed. And found the only manufacturer of 250-watt halogen torchiere lamps, a place called Park Avenue Enterprises, in Chino, CA. So we ordered one.
Now, please understand that for the past six-plus years, I have worked as a senior customer service representative at a major high-tech company. I deal with angry customers every working day. So I understand good customer service, and because of that I always treat the customer service people I contact with the same courtesy and respect that I hope to receive from my own customers.
To find to what happened when it arrived, follow the orange filament...
I ordered a torchiere from Park Avenue Enterprises (based at P.O. Box 1475, Chino, CA; their contact email address is customerservice@parkaveent.com).
We received the lamp on Thursday. Like almost all such lamps, some assembly was required. The lamp consisted of a heavy base, three pole segments, and the lighting unit per se.
Understand first of all that I read their assembly instructions thoroughly, more than once in fact, before starting to put it together. In addition, my darling wife assisted me by holding the as-yet-unconnected segments out of the way, so they wouldn't interfere with the assembly process.
The bottom pole segment screws into the base, the middle into the bottom, the top into the middle, and the lighting unit goes into the top. The instructions were quite clear to avoid cross-threading the connections, and I was diligent in doing so.
However, the bottom pole segment had a distinct wobble, even after tightening it completely to the base -- it felt like there was a loose bolt or something in the base unit itself. Nonetheless, I proceeded to screw the middle section into the bottom, and much to my surprise there was a very noticeable tilt. Here's why:
Notice the gap between the pole and collar on the left side.
This is a clear manufacturing fault, which in no wise could be attributed to cross-threading while I was assembling it.
I continued with the remaining sections, and this is what it looked like:
Leans to the right. A lot.
So I took it apart, put it back into the styrofoam packaging, boxed it up, and on Friday I emailed Park Avenue Enterprise's customer support address to get a replacement.
That's when this deplorable saga began.
My email had the previous images attached, as well as another close-up of the defective pole segment and another view of the tilted lamp. Here, it its entirety, is what I wrote:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I have received the floor lamp, and I am deeply disappointed. The lamp does not stand vertically, but leans to one side due to a manufacturing flaw: the threaded collar at the base of the middle pole section is crooked, as some of the attached images will demonstrate. In addition, the bottom pole section, when screwed into the base, has a noticeable wobble -- as if there is a loose bolt in the base itself that needed further tightening.
I am requesting an RMA number so that I may EXCHANGE the lamp for one that does not have these obvious flaws. I would hope that you are able to send the replacement as soon as possible, so that I do not have to wait for this one to arrive at your facility before you send the replacement.
If you are not able to accommodate this request, please CALL me after 8:00 am PST at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Thank you.
Now I may be prejudiced, but that sounds like a reasonable request. Here is their reply (exactly as received, wacky capitalization and all):
Hi Charles,
We see that there was an issue during assembly. The pictures clearly indicate that the Lamp was improperly assembled. In the pictures where the bottom and center poles attach there is a clear indication that cross threading has possibly occurred.
As indicated in the Assembly and Operating instruction supplied, cross threading, as the pictures indicated, is Not covered under warranty. (see attached side 2)
We would HIGHLY Recommend that the Lamp be disassembled and the assembly process be restarted.
Assembly needs to take place from the Bottom up! When the bottom pole has been secured begin attaching the middle pole and be SURE that the threads are SQUARE when tightening. As a result of the first attempt Not being correct, this may take a bit more care to be sure the connection is Square when tightening.
From there once the final assembly is complete the lamp WILL stand Straight as it did when it was inspected prior to being shipped. We are here to help, let us know if there is any additional information we can provide.
Customer Service
Attached to this email was the assembly instructions -- which I had read and followed to the letter.
I sent this reply:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I beg to differ with your conclusion concerning cross-threading. There is a clear flaw in the lower end of the middle pole section: to wit, the threaded end-cap is crooked. I will be happy to unbox the lamp and send you further pictures showing the obvious flaw.
I followed the assembly instructions to the letter, more than once. This flaw was present from the beginning, and I will not accept flawed goods. If you are unwilling to replace the lamp, then I require a full and complete refund.
Quite frankly, I am deeply dismayed not only at the quality of these goods but at your attitude as well. Your assertion of incompetence on my behalf is insulting, and unworthy of a company dependent on word-of-mouth (or more accurately, word-of-internet) advertising.
This is what I got in response (again, wacky capitalization exactly as received):
Charles Stanley,
Customer Service has passed on all e-mail correspondence and pictures for my review. I have read your correspondence and our response, and I am in agreement with Customer Service.
Before going any further, let me say that we DO NOT respond well to threats of any kind! Based on your correspondence you must think that YOU know more about our product than we do? You must have MORE experience with our product than we do? I can go further but I will stop there!
With this being stated I will again state that based on the pictures YOU supplied, care was Not taken during assembly and the connection between the bottom and center sections appear to have an issue with possible cross threading taking place.
I will again support our earlier response and recommend that the lamp be re-assembled with care taken to be sure the connection between the bottom and center pole are SQUARE during assembly.
However, if this is Not your choice I will provide you with this 1 option.
Pack the lamp EXACTLY as it was received. We will NOT accept any return if not received in the original packaging Exactly as it was initially shipped. You will also need to take care in packaging the lamp as we will NOT be responsible for ANY damage of any kind that may occur during shipping.
We will provide you with an RMA.
The RMA is with the understanding that upon receiving the Lamp we will inspect the area in question.
If we find the lamp will not assemble due to cross threading, you will be liable for the repair.
Upon addressing and correcting the problem, we will return the Lamp to you.
Based on the pictures, MY experience tells me that we WILL be able to assemble your Lamp without issue! How? By taking care in re-assembly!
Upon receiving your response agreeing to the above, we will respond with the RMA information.
Regards,
Mark James
VP of Internet Sales
This would have been perfectly fine with me, so I wrote back. However, in the interest of complete honesty -- and to defer any possibility of their complaints -- I noted that because of the way the lamp base and top assembly were packed, the styrofoam in which it was shipped had broken in a couple of minor places. Further, that in order to get to the pole assemblies, a plastic wrapper had had to be cut off:
Dear Mr. James,
I am in agreement with your offer of an RMA, with these caveats: it will be impossible to pack the lamp exactly as it was received, since the plastic wrapping surrounding the pole segments had to be cut off in order to remove it, and the styrofoam in which the lamp was packaged disintegrated while removing the lamp from it.
Please be sure to examine the bottom end of the center pole segment, and note the misaligned threaded collar. It is flush with the pole proper on one side but has a distinct gap on the other. This flaw could not be the result of any cross-threading during assembly. In addition, you have not addressed the wobble of the entire pole assembly when screwed into the base.
Mr. James, I have in no way threatened you or anyone else in your organization, and I resent your insinuation. I have expressed my disappointment in the quality of your product as received, and have noted -- as you yourself must surely be aware -- that word-of-mouth is the most powerful advertising medium at your disposal.
Thank you.
This is the reply from Mr. James, verbatim:
Charles Stanley,
Mr. Stanley,
There are NO Caveats! We DO NOT ACCEPT ANY RETURN FOR ANY REASON IF IT IS NOT IN THE ORIGINAL PACKAGING, PACKED AS IT WAS RECEIVED!!! Period!! There are NO exceptions! (the exception is the wrapping around the pole sections, all other packing is required) As a result of your recent e-mail, and the information provided stating this would Not be possible, we will Not be able issue an RMA to assist you.
When you received your lamp we included a letter stating the Prior to shipping we Opened, Assembled, Operated, and FULLY inspected this Lamp and found it to be FREE from any problems or defects. Do you believe these are just Words! I assure you they are NOT!!!!
I can absolutely assure you that this is done to EVERY lamp we sell online. Period! There are NO exceptions. If there was an issue with the Lamp as you state, we would have NOT shipped it for any reason!
I will again state that from the pictures YOU provided it is clear that cross threading took place which is why the lamp will not stand correctly.
With the above being stated I will provide for you a New Connector Free of Charge to replace the one in the picture. To replace you will either need to cut and the reconnect the wires once the New Connector has been installed, or disconnect the wire from the dimmer and then reconnect once the connector has been replaced.
If you would like us to send this to you let us know?
Regards,
Mark James
VP of Internet Sales
So, despite my having followed their assembly instructions, and despite having presented clear evidence of flawed merchandise, I should now have to take the lamp apart in order to replace the connector they should have put on correctly in the first place? My reply:
Dear Mr. James,
First of all, I would appreciate you using my entire surname, which is "Curtis-Stanley" -- a hyphenated name.
I will return the lamp to you in the packaging as received, noting that since styrofoam is inherently fragile, removing the lamp parts from the packaging will inevitably cause small pieces thereof to break off. This is the ONLY deviation from the 'original' packaging that you will receive.
I understand that you are naturally defensive of your product quality. As a customer support specialist, I am equally proud of my company's products. Nonetheless, I recognize that issues sometimes slip through even the most rigorous product testing.
Personally, I do not see how any amount of cross-threading could cause the threaded connector to become as crooked as the one on the center pole section. Moreover, you still have not addressed the pole assembly's instability as a whole when fully screwed into the base.
I am not willing to disassemble the electrical components to fix a mechanical problem. I have already spent a healthy sum to purchase your product, and will incur further expense in returning it to you for replacement. I see no need to spend even more money to have an electrician take it apart in order to replace a crooked connector.
According to your sales policy, "Your 100% satisfaction is our first priority." I do expect a company to stand by their products, and I am appalled and dismayed that you refuse to do so. I expect to receive an RMA code by return email today.
I still cannot believe the company's reply (again, verbatim):
Mr. Stanley,,,is it ….?
I was speaking Mr. James and he updated me on correspondence we had received regarding a problem he was dealing with. I then had Mr. James and Customer Service forward ALL of the correspondence regarding this matter to me for my review.
From the Information in the correspondence and the Pictures supplied by YOU it is clear what has taken place.
You received the lamp, opened it, starting assembling it, through this process you cross threaded one of the connections, THEN read the assembly instructions and found that the step by step instructions were different than what you had done which was a direct cause in creating a problem. As a result you are now contacting the manufacturer and stating the lamp is defective? You’re kidding right?
ALL courtesies that have been extended are now withdrawn.
It is clear you do NOT possess the Mental Fortitude nor the Mechanical Aptitude to assemble this Lamp.
From the information received and the correspondence provided, the Lamp Can be assembled without issue by someone with understanding to do so. I would Highly suggest you find a competent individual to help you properly assemble this lamp!
I have found your correspondence Insulting, Demeaning, and Condescending.
I will make this real clear. The lamp was in perfect condition and without issues when it was packed and shipped. The damage as provided in the pictures was caused by you! Period! The information you’ve supplied along with the pictures you’ve provided fully support our assessment!
As Mr. James stated we Do NOT respond well To Threats
We also DO NOT RESPOND TO DEMANDS!!!!!!
We have offered our product to customers now for almost 10 years, over this time the few issues we have had this is only the third time I have intervened. I am doing so because of the condescending and insulting content of your correspondence.
We will NOT be responding to any further correspondence.
Good Luck
M Favela
President / CEO
Park Avenue Enterprises
What. The. Fuck!!??!!
I have never received an email so "Insulting, Demeaning, and Condescending" as this pile of crap, and I've been in Usenet flamewars that make the ones here on DK look like candles.
And this?
It is clear you do NOT possess the Mental Fortitude nor the Mechanical Aptitude to assemble this Lamp.
Oh no you didn't!
And I cannot see how stating my expectations of good customer service, or my observations of the importance of good word-of-mouth advertising is to any company doing business on the internet, could be construed as threats or demands.
So.
Here's where matters sit at the moment. Park Avenue Enterprise's domain name is registered to, and administered by, "Manuel Favela", at an address in Tustin, CA. (I am in no way recommending or condoning any attempt to contact Mr. Favela, in person or otherwise. This is publicly accessible information, via a "Whois" service. You can look up the details on "parkaveent.com" yourself.) The company itself operates in Chino, CA, and the sender's address on the FedEx waybill was a post office box in Chino.
I paid for the lamp via PayPal, and I'm very strongly minded to file a dispute of the charge, on the grounds of damaged goods that the merchant refuses to make right. I have the photographs and can provide more, but PayPal's dispute process requires the seller and purchaser take up to 20 days to negotiate a settlement, and I have no doubt that Mr. Favela will continue impugning my character and intelligence while defending his company's "sterling reputation". After that point, if we have not agreed on a disposition, I can escalate the dispute to a claim. PayPal usually reaches a decision within 30 days of investigation, although they have taken longer. Only then, and only if PayPal substantiates my claim, could I be reimbursed. And since I do not have a video of assembling the lamp, it's my word against theirs.
One complaint was filed with the Business Consumer Alliance in May, 2012, to which Park Avenue Enterprise's representative replied with an equally insulting screed about how the complainant was attempting to defraud the company. No resolution of the complaint is on record.
I have not definitively located the company's presence on Yelp, LinkedIn, or any other widely-used site at which I could post a review. I don't think they have a Facebook page or Twitter account, either. There is a bare-bones entry for them on TrustLink, with no reviews or other data. That page has been accessed about 50 times since its creation.
I am not a lawyer, I do not play one on TV, and I have not stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. I am not seeking legal advice here, and any replies to this diary will not be construed as offering same.
That stated, it seems to me that as a resident of Washington State, I could file in Small Claims Court for restitution. However, as the company is based in California, that state may have primary jurisdiction.
Other than that, I am at a loss at how to proceed. I want a quality halogen torchiere, without the obvious manufacturing flaws as received. Failing that, I want a complete refund of the purchase price and shipping costs. And in either case, I want a full, sincere apology. Given Messrs Smith and Favela's intransigent attitude, I don't know how I can get any of these.