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Okay, so I was taking my daily hike today and there were these two chicks that I passed and I was going up this steep hill looking all cool, senior citizen jogging up hills and stuff and then I fell on my face and skinned all the flesh off my knee.  I was able to find my glasses that fell off and scramble to my feet before they got close enough to see what happened, but then as I limped down the trail I realized that there was some seriously serious pain going on here.  

On the way home I got these sharp, shooting pains that made me holler.  I couldn't believe it.  If you had told me a skinned knee could hurt that bad, I would have said you were nuts.

I went home and did all the stuff my RN wife taught me to do - washed with soap and water, apply antibiotic cream.  NO HYDROGEN PEROXIDE, ZEDMONT!!  Okay I got that.
It just kept on hurting so bad that every couple of minutes I would yelp like my chihuahua when he gets too close to the cat.  So I drank vodka mixed with peppermint schnapps and followed that up with peach brandy and it still hurts but I can't remember the pain too well.

I'm supposed to be on this low carb diet but there's nothing low carb about vodka, peppermint schnapps and peach brandy.  I need barbecue bad.

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