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Mr. Charles Koch Is Sick Of "Collectivists" Calling him and his Baby Brother Un-American.

I know this, because he told me. Us. I like to imagine that brother nodding as he typed.

I can only hope that the WSJ editor who took his call had a change of clear underwear.

The Koch Brothers have been criticized and very harshly. They are clearly not amused.

Charles Koch would like the world to see him and his brother as the victims of bullying.

Senator Harry Reid is the bad guy. The poor? The sick? The little guy? They are villains.

Write this all down, America, Charles Koch commands.

All of it. Every word that I say.

"Evil Collectivists have smeared the Kochs, truly our Greatest Americans."

Write that down. 100, no, 500 times. Neat and legible. Then sign it.

My brother and I shall consider that your group confession and your collective apology.

Then this... this great... unpleasantness can all pass.

Thank you, America. That will be all. You and your friends can all go when you're done.

Remember that you all must use the servant's exits only when you all finish and leave.

When you're a Koch, the Wall Street Journal Op/Ed Page is "The Twitter".

When you're a Koch, Fox News is what you get to use for "The Facebook".

Now, attack Harry Reid then stare at our navels while they buy the outcome of 2014?


I think not.


The First Amendment of the United States Constitution does not guarantee you the right to be anonymous RW sugar daddies or the right to be free from criticism and rebuke. Calling you and your brother out isn't bullying. It isn't "Collectivist" oppression in any way. It's not abuse. Quoting you is not smearing you no matter what the pantheon of Fox Newsers might say while they are all nodding in adoration at you.

It's like this, fellas. We've all had enough of the platinum-plated poutrage.

The Supreme Court may have stupidly handed you the gift of being able to freely spend hundreds of millions of the billions that you and your kin both inherited or had handed to you on your intellectually dishonest smear campaigns and your enriching rightwing scams. That's true. The same Supreme Court may also have just stupidly boosted, again, the power of big big money in manipulating the outcomes of elections in American politics. That's true as well. But.

But you are still not our lords and masters. Stuff your little bell.

You? You and your friends, your peers, your relatives?

Harry Reid gets to call you un-American. U-N-A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N.

Having your 'spend a hundred million a cycle' cake and then eating 'Charles who?' too?

No Longer.

Harry Reid stood up to you. He called you out by name. As he should.

As the entire Democratic Party should.

If you get to claim the right to spend hundreds of millions of dollars per election cycle as a Constitutional right simply because you are richer than everyone else?

Everyone else has a right to know that you are doing it. Every time.  

If you want to claim that money is speech, and that whoever has the most money should have the most speech, then your face should be married to your words and your actions.

America has a right to know that what you do is a big part of why national, state, and local governments cannot function and America's regular folks cannot have nice things.

America is falling into painful and damaging dysfunction and paralysis as a direct result of Movement Conservatism. Because of its policies and politicians, yes, but also because of its rich unaccountable playboy dilettante masters. Not because of liberals. Not because of liberalism. Not because of the hungry. Not because of the elderly or the working poor. Not because of minorities who don't vote for Republicans. But Because of people like you.

Because of your ideological greed cult, it's useful idiots and bamboozled foot soldiers on the front lines of voting against their best interests because they have all been conned. The actions and acts that are hurting this great nation are the ones taken by the most at the expense of those who have the least. An agenda systematically destroying our nation's great economic engine. It's once-thriving and robustly expanding middle class.


You are no victims.

You are underwriting the ideology that is bleeding America and you want it kept quiet.

Nobody with tens of billions of dollars should be able to pull off being a ninja or a victim.

Least of all not a victim being oppressed by those who have the least.

Good for Harry Reid.

Harry Reid called you out.

How dare he?!?!


We are not servants in your summer estate. We are not servants in your winter estate. We are simply the massive majority of struggling and hurting Americans who were not lucky enough to be born to wealth, just lucky enough to be born in the United States.

We know the score. If you aren't the only ones winning, then, somehow you are losing.

The bigger problem is, apparently, we don't know our place. Be it Harry Reid or us.

That nags at you. Digs beneath your skin. Eats at you until you have to do something.

And what did you do?

Why, you started screaming and stomping your feet, and I am sure your baby brother joined you in your tantrum like a twinned set of raisinesque toddlers in tiaras. Did you damage the sculpted topiary animals in the rear garden? Break a piece of MeeMaw Koch's prized set of china tea cups or saucers while you raged? No wonder you have to try and cripple America's democracy for your fun and profit well behind the scenes cloaked in luxury inside your richly appointed darkest backrooms.

If Harry Reid casting shade is enough to make you pitch a fit?

Well, gosh. Ain't that a trip.  

I bet you both made the butler fight your childhood battles at Muckymuck Day.

"My butler. Your butler. The sculpted maze behind the riding academy. 3 pm. Be there."

I bet they got fired if they got marked up. Fitzsimmons has a black eye. Jeeves has nary a scratch nor a hair out of place. Good show, Jeeves. That will show those Pfizer heirs or that Johnson and Johnson kid whose schoolyard it is.

You got called out, and the audacity of that act was more than you could bear.

The most powerful man in the US Senate, like the occupant of the White House.

Failing to know their place. Standing up for themselves and saying it out loud.

That's the biggest sin of all.

A thousand Op/Eds of blithering self-serving bullshit and self-pitying blather that appears immediately after a phone call to some hapless minion at the WSJ won't change that, nor that Harry Reid is right about you both.

"There have been times in my life I've been a little afraid," Reid said Tuesday on the Senate floor. "But I'm not afraid of them."

The reaction to this is a Tell. They fear being made the face of their own folly.  

Harry Reid was right. Will he double down? Will we? What do we have to be scared of?

Negative ads? Smear campaigns? Lies? Village coverage slanted towards the Right?

Oh, noes. Not that. We have never experienced that before. Go on, Harry. Go on.

After all, as a better man than me once said: "The ONLY thing we have to fear is...fear itself."

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Comment Preferences

  •  Paul Krugman (17+ / 0-)
    The Fifth Freedom

    Never mind freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom from want, freedom from fear. What America’s embattled billionaires are demanding, as their birthright (and I mean that pretty much literally), is something much more important: freedom from criticism. Making a desperate stand in the maquis the Wall Street Journal, heroic, oppressed men like Tom Perkins and now Charles Koch have been telling it like it is: anyone who says anything negative about them is just like the Nazis, or maybe Stalin.

    I am reminded that we need draconian voter restrictions because.... poor black people rig elections so often and widespread that rich white people cannot vote freely.

    Who writes the really big checks?

    The Big Babies.  

    You would never, ever, see the Wall Street Journal doing that; and liberals are absolutely never subjected to personal attack from the right. Oh, wait.

    Anyway, what’s interesting is just how thin-skinned these people are.

    “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.” — Auric Goldfinger

    by LeftHandedMan on Thu Apr 03, 2014 at 02:09:30 PM PDT

  •  The Kochs as victims, I guess money does buy any (6+ / 0-)

    thing including passing yourself off as a poor victim or as in this case as  rich victims, the brothers Koch, bereft of all dignity due to people like me persecuting them because, well, because they use their tens of billions of dollars to promote their personally warped sense of American values as in I got mine, so fuck you.  You can run but you can not hide, all the dollars you spend on high end TV specials can not wash away the tainted stains of your foul interventions into the American political process.

  •  Great rant! (5+ / 0-)

    You should shorten it and sent it in to the WSJ

    "If you lose your sense of humor, it's just not funny anymore" Wavy Gravy

    by offgrid on Thu Apr 03, 2014 at 02:28:38 PM PDT

  •  And a better man than I... (18+ / 0-)

    ...once said, "The ONLY thing we have to fear is...fear itself."

    Sorry; I'm a stickler for accurate quotes* (and very possibly a pedant).  But a great piece and open letter. Very cathartic.

    *On the other hand, I respect no such boundaries when it comes to quotes I've only imagined (and I know of no rules whatsoever for puns):

    "I'd like to buy the world."
      - a Koch

  •  The interesting thing for me (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Maverick80229, buffie, Penny Century

    is that this is, yet again, another case where Movement Conservatives telegraph to the rest of the world that they can't take a direct punch in the mouth.

    This is weakness. This is what it looks like. In a nutshell.

    No discipline. No thick skin. No ability to brush dirt off of their shoulder.

    "You are a doofus."

    "HOW.... H-H-HOW DARE YOU!?!!?!?"

    "Yup. Doofus. You. And your mother wears a fez."


    They need people to navel gaze, to stop what they are doing, to take them seriously. Concern trolling and civility baiting is a vital part of how they survive and thrive.

    Time and time again, the more confrontational you are, the less able they are to handle it.

    These two have tens of billions of dollars.
    They will drop 150 million dollars on a single election cycle.

    Harry Reid calling them out, on C-SPAN, was too much.

    You would think this got huge coverage on basic cable.
    You would think that this was a massive Village story.

    If Charles Koch had kept his mouth shut, it might have largely passed unnoticed by most Very Serious People outside of Movement Conservatism.

    We would know. But we know a lot about the shitty stuff these people do while the rest of this low-information nation can be convinced that both sides!!!! because Bernie Sanders and Ted Cruz, both sides!!!!!

    It just burned this man that he got needled. Ate him up inside.

    He could not not scratch the itch of throwing a temper tantrum.

    “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.” — Auric Goldfinger

    by LeftHandedMan on Thu Apr 03, 2014 at 02:49:13 PM PDT

  •  They really are oligarchs (7+ / 0-)

    the collapse of the soviet union brought about the Russian oligarchs.  They are attempting to collapse democracy in America and become the American oligarchs.

    Fred Koch got his start by building pipelines through Russia for joseph stalin.

    you can't make this shit up!

    Be the change that you want to see in the world

    by New Minas on Thu Apr 03, 2014 at 03:24:51 PM PDT

    •  No, you can't (6+ / 0-)

      it's a marvel and a wonder how thin-skinned these two are considering how ruthless they like to see themselves as.

      If they didn't inherit their wealth, you have to wonder if they would last a second in the draconian cutthroat world of their dreams.

      “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.” — Auric Goldfinger

      by LeftHandedMan on Thu Apr 03, 2014 at 03:36:40 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I like a term I first saw here - oiligarchs. (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      buffie, New Minas, Penny Century

      I now use it consistently when referring to the Kochs and other such oiligarchs.
      Yes, Daddy Fred made his money helping build Stalin's Soviet Union. He kept the money, but then decided that communism (and apparently any kind of joint effort to promote the common good) was so bad that Mussolini's tactics in trying to suppress it (i.e. fascism by definition) were justified. He then came home and co-founded the John Birch Society, which saw and fought communism everywhere, and also saw civil rights as an evil communist plot. (Against the natural superiority of the pure-breeds, I guess - and BTW, fellow white folk, that doesn't include most of us.) Here are a couple of his more vile quotes that I found in his Wikipedia bio:  "He wrote that "The colored man looms large in the Communist plan to take over America," and that public welfare was a secret plot to attract rural blacks and Puerto Ricans to Eastern cities to vote for Communist causes and "getting a vicious race war started."

      Now, a Koch baby doesn't fall far from the imperial Daddy oak. How many of the Koch initiatives reflect these very same views? How many of the attacks against President Obama and his policies constantly regurgitated on Fox, Limbaugh, etc. Or blocking the votes of as many of us "useless eaters" as possible. Or trying to privatize our education system to limit free thinking and creativity and to turn out the perfect little robots to fill their industrial quotas? And when they are done with you, kick you out without the pension that was promised by "sacred contract." Or squawk at any scrap of food, healthcare or any service offered to anyone who doesn't fit into their current version of the cogwheel. Or oiling the way  for those who will oil the rules that allow them to continue to engorge themselves by snapping up what should be our common resources and then giving us back the dregs to poison our air, water and earth. I could go on and on, but any of you could probably fill in a dozen more blanks. And, even supposing that Charlie didn't actually skim oil from his Native American oil clients, as his own brother William claimed, he had some pretty unsavory practices.

      Yes, Charles "Oiligarch" Koch, I will call you unAmerican, by any actual definition of what the founding fathers actually meant. You are more fitting of a place like Downton Abbey, where you can control the lives of those who are useful to you, while feeling magnanimous, then throw them out like old Moseley when they are not. (He was a little uppity for a valet demoted to a footman, wasn't he.) Now while many of us may enjoy watching Downton Abbey on PBS**, our founders fought a revolution so we wouldn't have to live there. (I won't go into the whole slave thing and the contradictions here, but you know what I mean. The freedoms we are all into are not Charlie's perceived freedom and privilege to shape society in his own design, including overturning the vote of the people. We the little people are not capable of doing this on our own and only make foolish choices wasting precious money on the common good.) **Ooh, forgot to mention how he bought himself a place on the board of our "Public Broadcast Service" to control the public discourse.
      So, I guess I have spit out what was to be my first diary here, but "he got under my skin and I had to do something" - I hope in a good way! So be it!

  •  The Kochs are unAmerican (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    LeftHandedMan, Maverick80229, buffie

    Bully on the writer of this piece. We The People should start throwing garbage at these useless swine and the candidates they support with the money they've stolen from US. If garbage doesn't do the trick, well...there are other things that can be thrown.

  •  Thank you for doing this. (3+ / 0-)

    I am working on my "Open letter to Charles Koch" - it would be my first diary. It's been "eating at me for a long time until I have to do something" but in the meantime I can appreciate and rec. yours. Let us eat cake!

  •  Waaah! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    "Money can't buy respect! Waah! I need more money, so I can buy congress, the supreme court, and the presidency.

    Then I'll have the respect I deserve."

  •  If by wanting "nice things" you mean wanting (0+ / 0-)

    a functional democracy with an effective social safety net and reliable infrastructure, then damned straight I want nice things.

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