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This is Joan Rivers as if you didn't know. On this week's episode of Compassion Police, we put a warrant out for Mr. Puppy-dog-eyes Paul Ryan. Once again he wowed the lemmings with a whopper crafted to drum up hate.

Ryan only plays to a friendly crowd, and they don't get any friendlier, or rabid in their delusions, than at CPAC, the conservative political action convention with so many speakers so packed up with lies it was like overdoses of both meth and X-Lax with unbelievable crap flying out of everybody right and left.

I've seen some BS flinging, and that's why I'm glad I'm short cause I don't have as far to duck, but these bozos should try doing their homework so it takes at least a day for us to disprove them.

Anyway, House Representative Ryan tells this touching story about a little boy who'd rather forgo a free lunch, which he's entitled to because his family is poor, because of some stigma. He says the kid really wants a brown paper bag lunch, because that proves that his parents love him. Yeah, that's it, Mr. Manipulator. Ever think that two minimum wage jobs don't pull in enough for rent and a sandwich, a juice carton, and one of those tiny raisin boxes the size of my larynx for each kid? So Ryan wants to peddle the perspective that this kid isn't loved because his family can't provide for him. Hey Mr. Compassion, maybe the money they save on lunch will mean he gets an actual dinner.

It was a pretty lie, though, and it played well. And it got shot down as total bull crap in a couple of hours. It seems Mr. Plagiarism, Mr. Cut-and-paste-cause-nobody-will-know, took a story about a rich woman who gave a homeless kid a choice of lunch money or giving him a lunch directly every day in a brown paper bag. The story was a second-hand tale pitched by a woman who herself was a welfare mom but now has ascended to be a Scott Walker cabinet member. Talk about going over to the dark side.

So Ryan trots out this tale as a true example of a little kid who turns down the free lunch because taking it tells the other kids that his family doesn't love him. Warning, we have a massive logic disconnect here and its gonna blow. Can we talk? Ryan had to find a way to make poor people look bad. Undeserving. Uncaring. Like they don't really want to take care of their families. He even went so far as to say that poor parents were subjecting their kid to "a full stomach -- and an empty soul."

Looks like Ryan decided the best way to foster hate on welfare families was to have one of their kids be the sad but proud victim. If you can get tea baggers to hate the poor, even the white ones, the campaign cash will flow like a Tyson-induced nosebleed.

Well it may play at CPAC, Mr. Medicare-vouchers-for-grandma, but not in Kokomo. So if the kid took the lunch, it was a character flaw? We're supposed to root for him not to eat? Starving is virtuous? And this is the only time we're supposed to care about the kid? If he takes the lunch, he isn't worthy of our compassion anymore?

Newsflash Mr. Foodstamp-flusher:  compassion isn't supposed to turn on and off on command. When it is presented that way, it's being used to divide us. We're on to you, Mr. Koch-brothers-tool. And your bull crap is about to hit the political fan and end up in your face.

CPAC was all about conservatism bowing to CORPservatism, where the "family values" crowd refuse to value families and prove it repeatedly like with Ryan and his twisted tale.

And here's a little irony for you. There is a true story underneath all the bull crap where an 11-year-old boy, Maurice Mazyck, was a young panhandler and sales exec Laura Schroff befriended him. She did give him that choice, and each day she'd have her doorman give the boy a lunch. He asked that if it could be in a brown bag like with the other kids. Schroff wrote a best-selling book about that relationship, and now with Maurice all grown, the two are fighting with an organization called No Kid Hungry to make sure underprivileged kids HAVE that choice of free school lunches.

Ryan's lie was just one of many examples of the GOP's true colors proudly paraded at CPAC, and they were all as grating as brown and teal. The lipstick is wearing really thin on this pig, and it's starting to smell bad too.

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