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We have learned from John Roberts and the conservative members of the Supreme Court that money and speech are interchangeable.  They are the same thing.

And further, any amount of money, even unlimited amounts of money, do not corrupt.

Therefore, it's only logical that jurors will now be able to "voice" their votes with money.

How would this work? Well, it's very straightforward.  Lawyers conducting voir dire will ask each prospective juror how much cash they've got on them.  How much cash are you willing to pay to the court to get your way on the jury?

And if they don't have cash, conveniently the court will now accept checks and credit cards.  So they'll be some questions during voir dire on credit limits for your various credit cards.

So if you're a bigot and you'd like to see a black defendant go to jail, innocent or guilty, all you need to do is win the "justice auction" on the jury.  Each dollar equals a vote.  The more dollars you kick in, the more votes you have.  

In fact, during deliberations you can also give money to fellow jurors to persuade them to the correctness of your own conclusion. Passing money is just like talking! And money doesn't corrupt, it's just more "information" for your fellow jurors!  It's really nothing more than putting an exclamation point on your argument.

This is truly a justice system revolution for which we can thank John Roberts.  Who knew we'd been doing it wrong all along by excluding money -- oops I mean "speech" --- from the justice system?

Too bad if you don't have any extra money on jury service day!  But don't fret.  John Roberts tells you that, no matter the obvious real world result, the important thing is you have the right to buy the system just like a rich person does.  Can't argue with that!

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