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Bear is much less deeply asleep these days. If I speak to him, he twitches his lids a bit, or moves a hand. Still, if they let up on the sedation, they'd have to pull his tubes, and they are not there yet. They are hanging some blood for him today. Now I know what type he is...O positive, same as I am. Apparently he was low. He looks a lot better. They're going to stop the antibiotic today, and that should make his diarrhea stop, and then it's a matter of getting his oxygen right and waking him up. This is not the sucky part.

I stopped off at the city building to find out the exact total I need to get things back on. Apparently I misremembered and calculated too low. $1999.67. It's...disheartening... to go from "I can get it on soon" to "only halfway."  But I'd rather know than not. Again, if you want to help me eat the elephant, the GofundMe link is here.

Also, all the driving plus the weather rolling through Indiana has the arthritis in my foot yelling very loudly. I am attempting to ignore it, because that's the only real tool I have in the arsenal just now.

I'm in a good-ish mood, but man, it's being eroded fast by all this.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (31+ / 0-)

    When you come to find how essential the comfort of a well-kept home is to the bodily strength and good conditions, to a sound mind and spirit, and useful days, you will reverence the good housekeeper as I do above artist or poet, beauty or genius.

    by Alexandra Lynch on Mon May 12, 2014 at 07:42:14 AM PDT

  •  Heya- (16+ / 0-)

    It's a long story, but my wife spent 38 days held under back about 20 years ago. I've got a couple hours in sitting listening to a ventilator.

    It's really tough to wait when all you wanna do is tell somebody ya love them, but ya gotta. After the experiance that my wife had, I never ever wanna be intubated and awake. There really is some shit that it's best to sleep through.

    Talk to him anyway, hold his hand- he knows you're there. But, lonely as it is for our side of things, his not being responsive right now is probably best- it means he's comfortable.

    How are you holding up? Are you eating, sleeping, all of that? You have to.

    Perhaps the single best piece of advice I ever got in my life was from an ICU nurse during this period- I was basically living on ICU, not getting a lot of sleep, eating crap...
    One of the nurses took me aside and said-

    Listen, you have to get some rest. Right now there are a LOT of people taking care of her, and there's NOTHING they can't handle. In not too long a time, you're gonna be taking care of her pretty much alone- and you have to be in shape for it, because it's not going to be easy
    Seriously, for his sake, take care of yourself- he's gonna need you strong.
    •  I'm taking care of myself. (5+ / 0-)

      Right now I'm experiencing one advantage of polyamory; I do have a healthy partner who is focused on making sure that I don't crumple under the strain. He took me out this weekend and made sure I thought about something besides Bear and hospital, and that was good for me. He gets a lot of fulfillment out of taking care of me, and so this is working.  I am sleeping at home, partly to deal with the cats, and partly because there's stuff that needs handling at home and I need to do it, and if I sleep at home I can take care of stuff before I go over to the hospital. On the downside, I am putting lots of mileage on our truck.

      I do have the happy ability to sleep about anywhere when I'm tired. So I often take an afternoon nap here in the room, and that gets me through.

      I wouldn't mind having a friend come in and talk to me for a while, though, or take me out for dinner. This is a very solitary thing and I could stand some interruption of the solitude in between weekends.

      When you come to find how essential the comfort of a well-kept home is to the bodily strength and good conditions, to a sound mind and spirit, and useful days, you will reverence the good housekeeper as I do above artist or poet, beauty or genius.

      by Alexandra Lynch on Mon May 12, 2014 at 09:31:48 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Keep your chin up! Only $720 more to go, (7+ / 0-)

    with $1180 raised by 23 people in 5 days.

    I had read a couple of your recent diaries but don't remember seeing anything in them about your needing to raise money to get the utilities back on so your husband can have his medical needs met by having electricity.  I hope you won't mind if I cut/paste a bit of your text from your fundraising site, so others will know about the particulars.

    You write --

    My husband Bear became unable to work three years ago, and a year ago, we had a water leak that ran our bill up to $2000. Anderson bundles their water and electricity bills, so before we could get any money together, they turned it all off....the gas and the internet too. We lived with my husband's father for nine months, but then he went into a nursing we moved back to our home, and lived without utilities.

    We were scraping along, putting a little here and there towards the big bill (got that one down to $1200!)  but then he had what we thought was an asthma attack on May 27. It put him into the hospital, and he wound up having a quadruple bypass on May 5.  He has also been diagnosed with insulin dependent diabetes and sleep apnea.

    I can't bring him home without the utilities on; he's got to have electricity to run the CPAP machine, and his insulin will need refrigeration.  If he is to eat properly to lose weight and keep his diabetes in check, I'll need the electricity and gas on, and the internet is our main source of news, connection, and entertainment in general, since we don't have a TV.

    $2000 will pay off back bills and reconnect fees and all that sort of thing, and get lights on and water running. Any money over that will be saved to pay future utility bills. . . .

    (Also -- can your Township Trustee help you?  The application process here in Monroe Co is humiliating and grueling, but it may provide a little help.)

    Best wishes!

    •  The township trustees are run dry for the year (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Throw The Bums Out, CroneWit

      already; we're a Rust Belt town. There's a big hundred acre hole where our auto plants used to be.

      Yeah, I'd thought the bill for the utilities was $1200, but I go up there today and with the reconnect fees, deposits, etc.  I will about have change for a soda out of $2000 once I pay that one bill. But that's okay because it's very easy in the summer to have the gas off. We'll miss hot showers at will, but that's endurable.

      I'm not really good at selling. (wry grin) Thanks for the repost of the info.

      When you come to find how essential the comfort of a well-kept home is to the bodily strength and good conditions, to a sound mind and spirit, and useful days, you will reverence the good housekeeper as I do above artist or poet, beauty or genius.

      by Alexandra Lynch on Mon May 12, 2014 at 09:25:40 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I'd urge you to use the cut/paste section (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Alexandra Lynch

        in all your Update diaries -- maybe under the update -- and to include the current still-needed amount (as in: 'Only $695 to go before we can get the utilities turned on and bring Bear home.')

        (I used to do small-shop fundraising.)

        Too bad about the Trustees -- but at least you didn't have to go through their nasty application process!

        I'll be holding a Good Thought for you.

  •  my thoughts are with you & Bear... (0+ / 0-)

    We discover in ourselves what others hide from us, and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves. --Anonymous

    by Steven Park on Thu May 15, 2014 at 04:02:20 AM PDT

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