Thats right, on all sides. Operation American Spring has sprung. 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 patriots have gathered in Washington DC, from all across this great land of ours. Its amazing that so many patriots have come out to Washington DC. In a country of 300 million, getting 10,000,000,000,000,000 right wing, gun toting, conspiracy loving, anti-government, pro-freedumbz patriots out in one spot is quite an accomplishment.
We have gathered here today to make the following demands of our so-called government.
1) Obama must leave office. Okay? Because first of all, he isn't from here. I mean look at him, look at his family. Do they look like a family from America? Not from MY america. Second, the man is a rabid socialist, a communist, a dictator, a black panther, incompetent, stupid and lazy all rolled up into one. And trust me, we have absolutely no education or background in the study of political ideology (whatever that means amirite?), so we are qualified to say that Obama is a socialist-fascist-communist with absolutely no reservations nor cognitive dissonance. Isn't being right wing great?
2) We want to rid ourselves of ALL federal government institutions. You like the FDA? Fuck 'em, we love pills that make us grow extra limbs and third-eyeballs. USDA? Corporations will do their own inspections of meat...I mean, what could possibly go wrong. Its not like anything bad ever happens in the meat packing industry, right? All of those government thingies are bad, okay? Remember what Ron Reagan, american hero and patriot, says "something something 'I am from the government and I am here to help'"
3) We want the OBAMA MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT to CONFIRM without ANY QUALIFICATIONS EVERY SINGLE CONSPIRACY THEORY EVER PROPOSED BY OUR MOVEMENT. We know the government is beaming radio signals into our fillings, dumping mysterious chemicals into the air (carbon dioxide, who the FUCK has ever heard of that) to manipulate weather. Oh and
BENGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
ahem sorry about that, just a nervous tick.
4) We want Obamacare repealed. We can't name a law after a black man. It has never been done and its a violation of our Constitution (which we have never read)
5) Other impossible stuff. We don't want government hands in our Medicare, Okay? We want Obama to admit his Kenyan birth. Still ain't never seen no birth certificate. We want the Obama family barred from ever running from office and deported. We want all the illegals deported but we also want to reduce government spending. These things are possible, if not for the black man spending all of our hard earned money and doing nothing just like other bla....
well, lets not get into that.
All we know is that if these five demands are not met, we will use the force of our 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 man march to make Obama flea the oval office. Well, we would, if we had any conception of math and/or numbers. But, as the bible says, math is for nerds and liberals...so here we are.