A few weeks ago Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio sent around an email, asking for contributions just in case he enters the Arizona GOP governor's primary. He said at the time that he had to make "one of the most important decisions of my life," and he needed your $5 or more to help him decide.
Seems a grifter's gotta grift. Arpaio has teased his supporters with running for governor a handful of other times during his long and bumpy tenure as the county's top cop, and every other time he bowed out. Why should 2014 be different?
It isn't, says the Arizona Republic:
The sheriff for metropolitan Phoenix says he won't enter the Arizona governor's race, marking the fifth time since 1998 that he has flirted with — and ultimately decided against — seeking the state's highest elected office.
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio says in a statement Thursday that he can't in good conscience leave his current post and noted that he has several unspecified sensitive investigations in progress.
Oh sure, they're "unspecified" investigations, like the ones of
him. But dang, Arpaio's entry into the GOP primary would've made for prime time viewing. In one corner we've got
birther Secretary of State Ken Bennett, not to be outdone by
disbarred former County Attorney Andrew Thomas, "Atomic" Al Melvin (called so because every problem can be solved by
nuclear energy), and former Go Daddy lawyer Christine Jones,
who said at an Arpaio roast that the Rio Grande is in Arizona (it's not) and the sheriff is such a swell guy he puts out water for immigrants crossing the desert (he doesn't).
Only Mesa Mayor Scott Smith looks halfway sane compared to this bunch of boobs, which probably makes him unelectable with the GOP base, who will be looking to see which candidate can out-crazy the others. Arpaio certainly would've added some bigoted spice to the bumblefuck, but then, he's got a 2016 sheriff's race to prepare for, when he'll be 84. And now he has a lot more money to do just that.