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Well, some enterprising young journos over at the Houston Chronicle managed to get their hands on a draft copy of the 2014 Texas Republican Party Platform, and boy oh boy....its a doozie!

Seems down there in the Lone Braincell State the GOP is now full on Bircher run Tealiban, given its 100% Pure seal by the Religulous Reich, and sponsored by Alex Jones' InfoWars and Glenn Beck's The Blaze.

Have you got an insane, extreme and delusional fear or paranoia about a subject? Well the Texas GOP has the platform for you!

Follow me over the orange squiggly sanity divide as we tiptoe through the tulips into Total Insanity Land.

You can find a copy of the document sourced by the Houston Chronicle at:

Its 40 pages of pure insanity, the real diary of a madman, so lets just pick out some of the real peaches in there.....

It calls for shutting down the Federal Reserve, the Environmental Protection Agency, the Transportation Security Administration, the Department of Education and the Department of Energy.

yep.....they want free reign for utility companies and industry to pollute at will - after all the water and land pollution scandals in other states and ones in their own....oh and those pesky chemical plant explosions. And just in case your kids might think about what that means for their futures, they want them growing up with unregulated educations. Dumb and coughing! Yeeeeeee Haw!

Book Lurnin N Sturf

The document also rails against teaching evolution in schools, demands that schools restrict access to “community organizers” (whatever THAT might mean in their crazy brains), and encouraging schools to embrace “subjects with emphasis on the Judeo-Christian principles upon which America was founded and which form the basis of America’s legal, political and economic systems.” So that's your kids educations determined by David Barton and Mike Huckabee's con evangelical educational orgs, and any non Christians can just suck it. Dumb and dumber! Yeeeeeee Haw!

Climate Change

And just to reinforce their vainglorious and willfully ignorant stance on science, and the future of the country and kids, they throw in a temper tantrum about Climate Change for good measure:“While we all strive to be good stewards of the earth, 'climate change' is a political agenda which attempts to control every aspect of our lives. We urge government at all levels to ignore any plea for money to fund global climate change or ‘climate justice’ initiatives.” Floods, Fires and Tornadoes..... Yeeeeeee Haw!

The UN

Channeling Alex Jones at his most insane, the document contains a handy reinforcement about the loony tunes GOP obsession with UN Agenda 21...and then uses that to call for total withdrawal from the United Nations and evicting the UN from its current US based HQ, demanding "the withdrawal of the United States from the United Nations and the removal of U.N. headquarters from United States soil.

Democracy? Who Needs That?

Loving the Constitution as they do, the Texas GOP thinks its just too long. So they want to repeal the 17th Amendment: "Full Repeal of the 17th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution: Return the appointment of U.S. Senators by the State Legislatures."

And just in case those untrustworthy uppity minorities and non GOP Pure wish to exercise their right to vote, the Texas GOP wants to make it as hard as possible to register and vote: "Voter registration: We support restoring integrity to the voter registration rolls and Registration reducing voter fraud. We support repeal of all Motor Voter laws; re-registering voters every four years; requiring photo ID of all registrants; proof of residency and citizenship, along with voter registration application; retention of the 30-day registration deadline; and requiring that a list of certified deaths be provided to the election administrator in order that the names of deceased voters be removed from the list of registered voters."

And then of course, to go Full Retard, they demand for the repeal of the "Voter Rights Act"? Say what now Tex? VRA: We urge that the Voter [sic] Rights Act of 1965 codified and updated in 1973 be repealed and not reauthorized."

Now lets see you vote Miguel! Freedom and Democracy......Yeeeeeeeee Haw!

Teh Gayz

Anti science and Anti Gay rolled up into one. The Texas GOP, in defiance of American psychology orgs findings and other research, wants to officially support "pray away that Gay" snake oil programs  and fund "reparative therapy and treatment to patients who are seeking escape from the homosexual lifestyle".

Not bigoted enough? Well just in case those Gayz want to press charges against attackers or bullies, the GOP wants to make sure they cant. The Texas GOP wants to repeal Texas’ hate-crimes statute “sexual orientation category”, and to block existing and future non-discrimination laws.

You aint working here, nor eatin here either Tootsie! Yeeeeee Haw!

Guns, Guns, Guns.

You just knew that platform would have to include a shout out to the open carry loons in the state and Wayne n Ted down at the NRA. Texas GOP wants to be able to ignore any federal gun laws they don't award The Purity Seal. "All federal acts, laws, executive orders, and court orders which restrict or infringe on the people’s right to keep and bear arms shall be invalid in Texas, not be recognized by Texas, shall be specifically rejected by Texas, and shall be considered null and void and of no effect in Texas."

And just in case those durned G-Men come fer our guns, we got a cure right out of Cliven Bundy's Book O Plays - "the establishment and maintenance of a volunteer Constitutional State Militia with assistance from County Sheriffs.” Thats right.....a full on army of Oathkeeper militant militia loons to protect those guns led by Sheriff Joe Arpaio clones.

Prayse the Lawd and Pass the Ammunition! Yeeeeeee Haw!

And finally
in our dip sample of GOP madness, a bucket of mashed up meat and organs to chuck at the slathering rabid base. Such prime rib examples of pure right wing lunacy as:

Anti Sharia Law fearmongering - Mooslim Sharia Law = Baaaad! Christian Tealiban Sharia Laws = Gooooood!

Anti Vaccination support, and prohibition of any form of database recording vaccination patients

Anti- US Census regulations restricting the data gathering capability and data storage allowances

Bans on any form of "reparation" programs. Y know.....even just saying sorry.

Official opposition to “the use of Radio Frequency Identification Chips (RFID) on humans,”

Prohibition of any form of support, financial or otherwise, for the ACLU and... ACORN. Thats right.....ACORN....the org shut down four years ago.

Banning all access to abortion, and also any access to the morning after pill.

Total elimination of The Minimum Wage

A number of planks about combating "the Benghazi Cover Up"

Official support to combatting "the myth of separation of Church and State."


Well, if you still feel clean and can cope with some more shitwittery, insanity and abominable Anti_American crazyness feel free to dive on in to the document. Me.... I feel I need a shower right now. I always had slight regard for right wing politics in the US, and especially in Texas, but I never thought it had gone so far down the hateful rabbit hole.

There are elections coming up this year..... make sure THIS and its fellows are the talking points rather than who has nicer teeth and better hair.

Good luck chums.

Chin Chin!

Originally posted to Dave The Sandman on Fri Jun 06, 2014 at 03:53 AM PDT.

Also republished by TexKos-Messing with Texas with Nothing but Love for Texans.

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