Note: This is an old Diary published in KosAbility. I accidentally deleted the original when adding a photo of Dorothy.
I want to tell a story of my excitement and joy of riding a stationary bicycle. No, really…quit laughing, there is joy riding the bike. One slow morning at the gym where I am employed, I was describing riding a stationary bicycle to Joy, a coworker. (The Joy of Running to Joy … sorry, Joy … couldn’t help it.) I was conveying the story to Joy of how I was not able to run since my stroke. Joy’s great contribution to the story is she expressed that it made her want to cry. Follow me to the other side….
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Joy of Running
I have been working for 24 Hour Fitness Center in Murphy, TX, as a Service Representative. Working at the gym gives me peace of mind; working out relaxes me. I take pride in the shape of my body, plus my weight is under control. For much of my life, this was not always so. The little above minimum-wage job is perfect because of the low amount of stress and how it fits this stage of my life. Even during the busiest times, there is a positive attitude expressed by not only the staff, but also the members. Sharing personal experiences and triumphs with both is the highlight of my day.
As a young man, I made many poor choices. My addiction to marijuana and cigarettes, not knowing how to listen to my mentors and learn from their mistakes are just a few of these errors. Because of these choices, I came to be overweight, later obese, and had a poor cardiovascular capacity by the age of 25. I found running difficult—I did not see the value in running. I was headed for an early death due to my lifestyle choices.
The stroke happened at a young age, thus, I lost mobility in my right side, less so the leg than the arm. When I walk now, I have to keep my concentration split at all times between my breathing and my balance to make sure I don’t eat the sidewalk. This means I intentionally keep my heartbeat low in order to concentrate on my balance. Walking at a brisk pace is a way to keep in shape, but it sucks as a replacement for exercise. As a result of my walks, I’ve fallen countless times; I have several chipped teeth, broken bones and countless scars, bumps and bruises to show for it. And, of course, the weather does not always cooperate. There are other means to suitable cardio fitness, but I was ignorant of them. Finishing college and getting back to work is what caused me to give up on exercise all together. Big mistake.
Then, one day, my doctor and I were going over the possible recourse that were available because of a sudden blood pressure spike despite my medication. "We" decided that a diet was called for. Well, there isn’t any “we” in the lifestyle changes I had to make. Determined to learn good nutrition habits to replace my “good nutrition” habits that I had been taught growing up, I began to research and implement food choices that I could live with. My weight dropped to 175 pounds from a high of 260 over 9 months. Previously, I had known no control over my weight, but after the first twenty pounds came off, I knew it was just a matter of time.
But I introduced a new problem--I had lost muscle with the fat. I led a sedentary lifestyle in work and leisure. A good friend liked to point out that I might benefit from attaching a free weight to the computer mouse I was pushing around. Just being “thin” was not enough. Then one day I hurt my only usable arm when lifting a lawnmower. Noticing no pain at the time of the injury, it became difficult to carry any weight with my one good arm the next day. I couldn’t carry 4 pounds without excruciating pain. At work, I had to take three trips into the office from my truck to get my laptop and notes in. This pain went on for six weeks without relief. As it turns out, I had damaged to the rotator cuff area of the shoulder. The doctor’s suggestion was to try rehabilitation.
At the rehabilitation clinic, the therapist assigned the first exercise on my arm to “loosen up” for ten minutes on an upper-body ergometer. An upper-body ergometer is a resistive exercise device that works the arms, shoulders and upper body, while seated, improving strength and cardiovascular function. I was soon asking for twelve, twenty and then thirty minutes. I enjoyed how the ergometer was improving my breathing and endurance without having to worry about balance. Lifting weights was also a part of my rehab, but the cardio functions of the ergometer intrigued me.
Rectifying my lifelong mistake of neglecting physical fitness, I joined Gold’s Gym. Much to my disappointment, Gold’s Gym did not have an upper-body ergometer, but it does have stationary bicycles. I could strap my weak foot on to the pedal, sit down and ride without having to worry about falls. I could let my heartbeat go without limit. In other words, “I can run!” After I could ride the bike without getting winded, I set my sights on Spinning.
Spin Class is a classroom where the participants and the instructor ride stationary bicycles through various exercise activities for one hour, usually with very loud music playing in the background. Dorothy leads the class at Gold’s, and she has a raspy, loud voice that does not need a sound system when she screams over the blaring music. Dorothy reminds me of a drill instructor from hell’s boot camp. Dorothy’s class is punishing, but she learns the individual names of the class members and would call our names during class to ensure everyone’s full participation. She keeps her class together, in focus, inviting and pushing through the pain when it inevitably arrives.
I rode a stationary bike outside the spin room until I thought I could handle the one-hour physical demands of the class. When I first approached Dorothy, I asked her permission, and help with my physical handicaps, to let me try spinning with the remark that her class is, “Having way too much fun.” I can still remember Dorthy laughing at that comment. Dorothy’s enthusiasm for fitness is contagious. I will always carry that enthusiasm with me.
But, none of this explains the ecstasy I find riding a stationary bicycle. When I was young, I used to think that riding a stationary bicycle was work, something to be avoided, as was any fitness training. I realize the way I feel now comes from being unable to “run” for almost 30 years. Without that experience, for me, I would not hold running in such high regard. Thus, I am addicted to the stationary bicycle, the way I was in the past to marijuana, cigarettes and carbohydrates.
Today, when I ride the stationary bicycle, I feel:
Joy!
Like I’m a kid again, running free …
Joy!
Breathing in the energy around me, pushing it through my core and into my burning legs …
Joy!
Drawing into myself, concentrating, losing track of outside distractions, the walls, the lights, the person riding by my side …
Joy!
Not anxious about falling … EVER!
Joy!
Amazing! It no longer hurts to breathe …
Joy!
Heartbeat up …
Joy!
Visual imagery fading, pushing ever harder, I close my eyes …
Joy!
Losing myself, sweat pouring out of my body …
Joy!
Instructor’s voice fading, then the beat of the music …
Joy!
Mouth fully open, almost gasping, going into and coming out of this state of breathlessness …
Joy!
Getting high …
Oh, Joy!