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So let's review some facts.

1. The Hobby Lobby decision says essentially that people (Including Corporate People) cannot be legally forced to act in a way that violates their sincerely held religious beliefs.

2. I am a Christian.

3. In the Christian Religion, and in Holy Scripture, the charging of interest is considered Usury, and is sinful.

4. In the Christian Religion, and in Holy Scripture, all debts are required to be forgiven every few years, in what is called the "Year of Jubilee." I sincerely believe that the year of jubilee should transpire every seven years.

5: Jesus was pretty cool with you, unless you were a banker. If you were, he was going to attack you with a whip. The one time Jesus was totally okay with violence was violence directed at money changers.

Being that I believe all this stuff, with a worrying intensity, am I within my religious rights as an individual to declare my student loans null and void?

Because here's what it seems like to me. I cannot be forced to act in a way inconsistent with my religious beliefs. That doesn't mean that I'm allowed to, say, attack the CEO of Citibank, Michael Corbatt with a whip. Even though it is my sincerely held religious belief that Michael Corbatt and other CEOs of large banks are in need of a good horsewhipping, and that it would be Christ-like to follow in Jesus footsteps and attack moneychangers like Corbatt with a whip, I recognize that the right to a belief doesn't mean the right to exercise that belief. I can believe that bankers need a good flogging all I want, but they'll put me in jail if I try to horsewhip Corbatt (outside of a very specific kind of social gathering.)

Be that as it may, the court found in the Hobby Lobby decision that we can't be forced to act in a way that violates our beliefs.

So I'm thinking of starting a Kickstarter campaign to hire a lawyer and take this case to the supreme court. A class-action lawsuit on behalf of every student whose religion defines interest as usury, and whose religion has the concept of debt forgiveness.

Off the top of my head, that's Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. Probably some traditional native American religions as well, as acting on greed is generally considered to be a terrible thing in those religions. Considering Buddhism's beliefs on property, they may be able to jump on with this class action lawsuit as well. And hey, Pastafarians? I'm not sure what his starchiness has to say about student loans, but I'm pretty sure you can jump on this boat too. Because the courts are also pretty clear: My religion doesn't have to be reasonable. I don't even have to prove that this is a reasonable interpretation of my own religion. I just have to believe it. Sincerely.

Which I do.

One hundred and crazy percent.

While I know that making it legal to attack Wall Street bankers with whips is, sadly, never going to be a reality in this godless nation, it may be possible to have my student loans declared null and void. Or completely impossible.

Whatever, I sincerely believe that I want to try.

So whaddya think? Should I throw up a kickstarter to try to make enough money to hire a lawyer?

Considering that someone got money to make potato salad, I think it might be possible to raise enough money to hire a lawyer.

Whose up for some progressive, faith-based litigious chaos action?


Should I start a kickstarter campaign to hire legal counsel to take this case to the supreme court?

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