Yes, gun hipsters are a thing now.
I don't know how many times we have to point out that the NRA is now an extremist organization before media and politicians will suss out that yes, the NRA is an extremist organization
A new commentary video from the National Rifle Association suggests we can live up to the Founding Fathers' ideals by creating "gun-required zones," and making gun training for children "necessary to advance to the next grade."
Do we even have to dignify "gun-required zones" with with a comment? Schools have to struggle mightily to rustle up the money for basic textbooks these days, but by gum we'll build them all shootin' ranges?
He imagined a compulsory education system that would require children to become proficient with firearms, just like "reading and writing," even "if they didn't want to learn" in order to advance in school: "Gun policy driven by our need for guns would insist that we introduce young people to guns early and that we'd give them the skills to use firearms safely. Just like we teach them reading and writing, necessary skills. We would teach shooting and firearm competency. It wouldn't matter if a child's parents weren't good at it. We'd find them a mentor. It wouldn't matter if they didn't want to learn. We would make it necessary to advance to the next grade."
And we would do this why, now? And having every child in America know how to shoot off a gun serves what great national need? Art classes are right out, but by God
you will learn how to plug a squirrel, Billy. And as a bonus, once all the kids learn proper gun safety from the NRA they'll be able to efficiently shoot themselves in the crotch just like the rest of God-fearing well-trained super-safe 'Murica does
Like "education, healthcare, food, [and] retirement," Johnson suggested that gun ownership be subject to a government subsidies, either through "government ranges where you could shoot for free or a yearly allotment of free ammunition."
I'm out. I can't do this. This is apparently not parody, despite the fact that it really, really
sounds like a parody of what a mentally unbalanced ammosexual would say if you gave them fifteen Red Bulls and a video camera, and the mere fact that the single most powerful American organization keeps releasing tapes asking why the rights of their favorite murder weapons don't obviously outweigh
the rights of all other citizens has given me the dry heaves.