Everyone’s seen the security video of the robbery Mike Brown allegedly committed right before he was shot by Officer Darren Wilson, but you have not really seen it until you’ve seen it meticulously recreated, in split-screen, with [Fox News reporter Griff Jenkins] as the terrorized shopkeep and Fox News Senior Black Friend Ted Williams, former D.C. homicide detective and current criminal defense attorney, playing the role of Mike Brown the Cigarillo Thief.The above clip is only part of the much longer piece, and I encourage you to not actually watch it because that's nine minutes of your life that you will never get back and which will permanently make you stupider via magic Fox News osmosis. The reenactment quality is really top-notch, much akin to my kindergarden class' reenactment of the landing of the Mayflower featuring a boat made out of large cardboard boxes adorned by numerous unexplained but colorful hand turkeys, and is probably the closest many Greta Van Susteren viewers will ever get to experiencing the raw terror of being around a Black Person Probably Up To No Good.
Reporter Jenkins also was happy to confirm to Van Susteren that he had "just about" gotten into a confrontation with a Scary Black Man while he was there, thus confirming the dangers faced by excessively nerdy Fox News reporters in their war-zone dispatches from American convenience stores.
All that said, however, what really gets me is that Griff Jenkins appears to be one of the only people in America, reporter or bystander or otherwise, who can jaywalk in Ferguson without getting shot or tear gassed or having the stuffing beaten out of him by the world's most heavily armed traffic enforcement team. He really needs to tell veteran Getty photographer Scott Olson and the other arrested journalists his secret, because being able to stand in the middle of a street in Ferguson, Missouri, without being zip-cuffed afterward very nearly counts as a superpower.