Many of you have heard that Ray Rice punched his then fiance in the face in an elevator in Atlantic City. Maybe you have seen the recently released video. Maybe you finally learned today that her name is Janay Rice. Maybe you also found out that she is upset that she and her husband, yes she married him after he assaulted her, are the in the media spotlight again when she is trying to move on. That she's upset the video was released to the public by the media. That she's upset her husband lost his job. And maybe you've formed some baseless opinions about her because she hasn't left him and that's not what you would do. This post is for all the comments I've seen stating that the only reason Janay Rice is staying with Ray Rice is because she's interested in his money.
Janay's comment on Instagram is at the bottom of this post so you can read her own words about how she feels about this, but I want to get to my main point now.
If you have said Janay Rice is staying with Ray Rice because of his money, you are a misogynist. If you have said this, you're re-victimizing her. I don't really care what you think your motivations in saying these things are. One commenter had the nerve to imply that saying "$$$$$" is the reason she's choosing to stay with him is somehow going to save her from further violence. No. The reason you said that, is because you are an asshole who doesn't like or agree with her choice to stay with him, so now you're going to impugn her motives. There obviously must be something wrong with her, she must have an ulterior motive, for staying with him. A woman genuinely in love would leave him! Not. It's pretty common knowledge that many women stay with men who have abused them or continuously abuse them, regardless of financial resources.
Anyway, I was surprised and displeased to see quite a few comments saying this. I couldn't understand why on THIS website, I was seeing this shit about money. I felt like I was in a Yahoo news comment section. And there was barely any push back. For a domestic violence victim being maligned as a gold digger. Because she didn't make the choice for herself that you would have made.
Another thing, all you arm chair/keyboarding psychologists aren't helping Janay Rice either. Her body is not your body, her life is not yours, and she's not your standard bearer in the fight against domestic violence. She has explicitly stated that this attention is hurtful to her. Regardless of how you feel about her decision, it is HER decision, made based upon her own damn experience with her own damn life and relationship. Respecting women, and victims of violence, means not forcing our wants and desires on them. Women need to decide themselves if they should have an abortion, women need to decide if they want to pursue getting their rapist prosecuted, women need to decide [insert situation here]... Women need to decide for themselves how to recover from domestic assault.
This is what equality is. You don't get to assume that Janay Rice is incapable of making decisions for herself. She is not a child. If she wants your help, she can ask for it. Right now she is stating that YOU are upsetting her. YOU are making her relive something very painful. You can think it's a bad idea, I sure as heck do, but I don't have to live her life, I don't know her relationship as intimately as she does. Who the hell are you to say what her motivations are or how she should feel or how she should handle this? A misogynist, that's who. Because you know better than she does. Because she's suffering from battered woman syndrome. Because she's just in it for the money.
My opinion may not be very popular, but I feel like someone had to stick up for Janay here. Her own statement is below.
"I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend," Janay Rice wrote. "But to have to accept the fact that it's reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that the media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass off for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.
"THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you've succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!"