Nick and I on our carriage ride moments before he proposed.
Growing up in the South is totally different than growing up anywhere else. Down in the South you learn manners, we are taught to say "yes ma'am" or "no ma'am" and "yes sir" or "no sir", very early on in life. You also learn that family and God are number one, to always stand up for what you believe in. Family comes first, no matter what, blood is always thicker than water; regardless.
My story is not that much different from anyone else; I grew up mainly in the South, I was taught manners at a young age, my parents firmly believed in "family meant the most". Some family members may not have lived the best life, but still, they were family till the end of their days.
No matter what your location may be, everybody wants to find that one person -the other half to them- to spend the rest of their life with; little girls all over dream of meeting that one true love and having the big wedding day. No matter how much someone wants to be different, there is part of them somewhere, that just wants to belong to the so called "normal".
Just like any other little girl, I imagined meeting my other half and dreamt of my wedding day. I imagined I would always have my daddy and mama both there by my side, my daddy would give me away and my mama would be in tears, to see that day when her baby found that one person to spend their lives together until the end. I thought it would be the happiest day ever.
I grew up and have had a lot of twists and turns that life has thrown me, along with losing both parents in my life, but I never lost the hope of finding my other half. Nick came in my life when I least expected it, and automatically, Nick and I had a strong connection.
Nick told me from the get go that he was different, and I accepted Nick for who he was, not his title in the world and not his gender. I fell deeply head-over-heels in love with Nick Fulgham. I learned quickly that Nick was my one person in life.
The night that Nick proposed to me was like a night out of a movie; he went through so much trouble and so much planning to make it perfect for me, it may not have been exactly perfect like he originally wanted, but it was perfect for us.
We wanted a big wedding at first, but we were afraid some may not share in our excitement. So we went and did the most private wedding possible. We went to the Madison County courthouse, with two of our kids, and shared a very private moment inside the Justice of the Peace office.
Some say what happened next was my fault because I posted our marriage license on Facebook. I only did what everyone else in the world does, I just posted the joy I felt in my life, I never would have thought a very treasured milestone in my life would have got twisted in such a way as this has gone.
A few days after saying our I do's, my own blood family publicly outed our marriage to the American Family Association, claiming that Nick and I were lesbians who committed "biological fraud" in order to force the legalization of same-sex marriage in Mississippi.
See just like most kids in the South I had that one cousin I was extremely close with, we did everything together. We went fishing together, he went on our family vacations together, he was always over at the house almost every weekend -we were thick as thieves growing up. I share so many childhood memories with him, I wouldn't trade these memories of us growing up together for nothing in the world.
We drifted away in our adult lives, but we were still in contact through facebook. When my dad passed away and we needed a pastor for the funeral, Robby was the first person that came to my mind. I knew out of everyone he could shine a special light on his life and I was very grateful for him coming and speaking, he did an amazing job, just as I thought he would have done.
However, when I found out exactly how my cousin Robby choose to handle dealing with my marriage, my heart shattered in a thousand pieces. I knew my cousin wouldn't agree in my life choices, but I had never tried to force my decision down any ones throats- not even his. I was happy and I just wish everyone else- family and friends, that is- could have shared in our happiness.
All of this has been super stressful; not the being married part, that was expected. We have the normal stress of newlyweds from combining kids to paying bills, and grocery shopping, just the everyday little stresses of life. But, we also have the stress of the media, we have to worry about people looking at us in public with whispers of, "that's them", talking about us when they do not realize the situation at all.
We have to think of ways to keep our kids from having to deal with all of this, it is hard enough out there today for kids, without having their parents plastered all over the internet and being called fraudulent lesbians who are destroying our state's constitution. We just wanted a normal, well as normal as you can get, kinda life. We wanted to be able to commit to each other and to raise our family together. We never wanted all of this to come our way.
Don't get me wrong-- this has made us stronger as a family and as husband and wife. We have learned that we have some of the best supporters out there anyone could ask for during all of this, and we have found a family that has welcomed us and celebrated our marriage. I guess this has been a blessing, hopefully, it will open some closed minds and give others hope in the future. If we can just get one person to be more open minded and accepting of people, then all of the stress and every bad thing that has happened will be worth it.
All I can hope, is that our kids and other kids won't have to have labels such as being "gay", "lesbians", "bi-sexual ","trans", "black","white", "fat", "skinny". That, hopefully, it won't matter. That they will just be humans, because we all are humans at the end of the day it doesn't matter. Everyone deserve happiness and deserves to be someone who makes them happy.
I know that I am lucky enough to have found this love in my life. I have never been the type of person to back down for what I believe is right and I strongly believe that our marriage is right. I will stand up for it and by it till the end of time.