The annual holiday grief challenge has officially begun.
Some of us dealt with it easily, others barely made it through the weekend without falling apart.
One major holiday down. Christmas and New Year's are coming up fast. This is not a challenge any of us can get away from.
And it is a journey none of us have to walk alone.
Welcome, fellow travelers on the grief journey
and a special welcome to anyone new to The Grieving Room.
We meet every Monday evening.
Whether your loss is recent, or many years ago;
whether you've lost a person, or a pet;
or even if the person you're "mourning" is still alive,
("pre-grief" can be a very lonely and confusing time),
you can come to this diary and say whatever you need to say.
We can't solve each other's problems,
but we can be a sounding board and a place of connection.
Unlike a private journal
here, you know: your words are read by people who
have been through their own hell.
There's no need to pretty it up or tone it down..
It just is.
I did OK on Thanksgiving itself, but the rest of the weekend felt very strange. At times I felt very disconnected from everything.
Right now my perception is skewed--I can never tell when these moods come whether they are grief, or depression, or sleep deprivation, or seasonal affective disorder, or indigestion or something else or some combination of the above.
I only know that I feel out of sorts and can't put my finger on it.
I've always had trouble with the holidays, and had to hide it in order to avoid harshing everyone else's buzz, while wondering at the same time how many of them were hiding their true holiday feelings too.
In the years since my mother died one of the paradoxical freedoms is that I no longer need to pretend to be enjoying the holidays.
I just get through them. I work very hard in the days leading up to them so that I can honestly say I am looking forward to a day of rest. Sometimes I have to work on the holiday itself, and that's OK. It gives me something practical to do that gets me out of myself.
So however, you did it, you made it through Thanksgiving. Whether your grief is brand new, or whether the holiday stirred up memories of many years gone by, the first hurdle on the annual holiday challenge has been jumped, even if you knocked down the hurdle in the process.
Now we stand beside each other while we get through the rest of December together.