I just need to vent.
Once again, I am in crisis with my current employer and almost ready to lose my job. Last time it was because my company went under, and left my adrift in the job market with nothing but a text message to show for it.
My situation is far different now. I work for a very large (the largest, in fact) mega-super-big-box chain. I work as a truck unloader in the receiving department and suffice it to say my job involves some grueling physical labor.
A few weeks ago, I was throwing the truck (meaning taking all of the freight from the truck and putting it on the rail, a system that transports the freight out of the truck and into the receiving area where it can be sorted) and I lifted a particularly heavy package, twisted and put it on the rail. A little later, I noticed my groin hurting, but I thought nothing of it and kept working.
Later that night, after work, I was going down the stairs at my apartment and hit a patch of ice and twisted my hips hard to the right. I felt a pop and a tear and all of a sudden a sharp, stabbing pain in my groin. I developed a limp. It was so bad, I could hardly get back up the stairs and into my apartment. After being in all that pain, I decided to smoke a bowl and go to sleep, thinking that I could sleep it off.
It worked, for a while. I intentionally avoided throwing the truck and all of heavier sorting jobs, I was real careful going up and down ladders and stairs. I tried my best not to reinjure myself without having to go to the doctor. I hate the doctor and I have very little time off anyway, going to the doctor would have just been a waste of time for a little pain in my leg.
Last Saturday, I was at work and I was told to pick up some grocery cars so we could set our claims for the night in them. I happily obliged. As I was walking to the front for the carts, I hit a footfall wrong. I came down on the inside of my right foot instead of the outside of my right foot and all of a sudden I felt the most tremendous, spectacular pain shooting down and up the right side of my body, radiating out from inbetween my balls and my thigh. I immediately hunched over and leaned against a shelf, trying not to let management see me hunched over in agony. I felt tears streaming from my eyes.
I decided to say fuck the shopping carts and report my pain to my boss. I asked to go home.
Here is the deal: I am still within my 90 days at work. I am a temporary employee. I have already called out once for getting the stomach flu a week before my injury because, as we all know, these shady ass big-box stores don't give their employees sick days so sicknesses get swapped around. I was on the toilet for hours and didn't think I would be much use at work so I called out, thinking that would be the last time for the 90 day period.
But with this injury, I have already had to call out twice.
And here is why I am worried: The saturday that I started experiencing the extreme pain, I went home. I could barely drive...I almost crashed into another car on the way back. My fiancee got home from her job, surprised to see me at the house, and I told her that we needed to go to the Emergency room. Now, when I say I hate doctors, I fucking loathe them. I hate hospitals. I am a germophobe and hypochondriac so any time I go somewhere where sick people congregate I get a little twitchy. I would not have gone to the hospital had this injury been so painful I could barely handle it. I almost whited out a couple of times.
So I get to the hospital, the doc diagnoses me with a strained groin. She said, based on the level of pain and swelling I had, that I came damn close to tearing it. She sent me home with a bottle of pain pills and orders to STAY OFF my feet and not lift any thing for 2 weeks. Basically, a modified duty order.
My job, unfortunately, treats their temporary (read NEW) workers like they are less than dirt. I just found out today that my boss has rejected the note excusing me for the two absences related to my injury, and that I must provide a much more detailed modified duty letter so they can "accommodate" me.
At this point, since he rejected the doctors note, that means I am fired. 3 absences in your first 90 days generally means that. I know that. My boss knows that. They are firing me for an injury.
But, I can't claim workmans comp because 1) the injury arguably started outside of work and 2) I have marijuana in my system and they drug test for workplace injuries. I feel like I tried to play this one by the book. I followed managements advice as they gave it and it still put me in a position where I am facing being out of a job, again. Their policies have not been clear, and its almost like they are giving you advice to get fired if you get injured. So again, I am not sure what the status of my job is, but my boss is a real asshole for rejecting my doctors note so I am pretty sure I know that means I am out of a job.
I just want to vent. I am so worried about what I am gonna do. I have already applied to a few places, but life doesn't stop when you lose your job. I gotta keep paying bills and utilities and shit. I still have my last paycheck, but after that my fiancee's job is it, once a-fucking-gain.
Ugh. I fucking hate this. I have a bachelors degree for the love of god and I can't find a job anywhere besides low-level, low-pay retail jobs.
Fuck.