Artist's rendition
Well, it's happening.
Rick Santorum will be running for president again.
“America loves an underdog. We’re definitely the underdog in this race,” he said in an interview Tuesday. Santorum added that being underestimated—again—“has given me a lot of latitude.”
Allow me to do you the favor of underestimating you more, then.
Where he had to build his operation from the ground up in 2012, Santorum now has a grass-roots operation called Patriot Voices, which boasts 150,000 activists across the country.
So you'll get 150,000 votes, then. Good for you, sport.
Santorum is likely to have more competition for the support of social conservatives than he did in the last campaign. Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, who won the Iowa caucuses in 2008 and retains a strong reservoir of support among evangelical voters, is considering another White House bid.
Rick Santorum's advantage: if you look up
Huckabee on the internet, you get some really sick stuff.
Santorum argues that the reemergence of immigration as an issue will work in his favor because he takes a tougher line than many other Republicans do.
So ex-Sen. "Man On Dog" is going to retool himself by becoming
more anti-immigrant than any other of the probable candidates. I'm not even sure how that's possible—at some point you would expect the whole thing would collapse in on itself in a sort of
redneck singularity. But good luck with that; I know the statesmen of the Republican Party have been very, very concerned that their members haven't been expressing more spiteful and far-right anti-immigrant views. That's why they set Steve King to the task of drafting their immigration policy, after all.
To answer the inevitable question: No. No, I will not be following the campaign travails of Rick Santorum as he wanders around the country on his own personal Mr. Bus. You don't want that. I don't want that. Nobody wants to think about Santorum on a Bus, not now, not ever.