Five years ago today, I wandered downtown along storied Pennsylvania Avenue to observe and document "the largest gathering of fiscal conservatives ever held in Washington, D.C.," the Freedom Works- and Heartland Institute-sponsored Taxpayer March on Washington, a.k.a. the 9/12 Tea Party.
"Stop this unconstitutional fascist dictatorship"
Follow me below the Great Orange Curlicue of Unconstitutional Fascist Dictatorship for a series of photographs from that event helpfully captioned and described, with a humble and timely rant on the subject of GOTV.
Being one of those rarest of all possible WASP residents of the Washington, D.C., area - someone who was actually born and raised here - I've had a unique opportunity over the years since the 60s to observe and participate in public political demonstrations on the streets of this city.
"Team Huck * Life * Liberty * Pursuit of Happiness"
Upon returning home from this 2009 Tea Party event and uploading my photos to social media that evening, I appended my considered and experienced opinion that - contrary to published reports attributed to official DC government sources that perhaps 75,000 had attended - I was perfectly willing to conjecture that the crowd might actually have been closer to 100,000 in strength, but not much more.
"The Joke(r)'s on U.S."
I was immediately attacked by several anonymous online sources, previously unknown to me, who contemptuously assured me that
at the very least 1 million people had marched down Pennsylvania Avenue that day - and that probably the actual figure was closer to 2 million.
"We Love COAL! 'COAL' is Our Future"
I was gobsmacked, to say the least, and reported my astonishment that any rational person could possibly have made such a ludicrous headcount.
"Socialism: a Cancer Feeding on Liberty"
"Did you not see the images from the Mall, just a few months ago, when President Obama was inaugurated?" I asked. "Now,
that was 2 million people - and you couldn't see the end of that crowd, standing shoulder-to-shoulder and cheek-by-jowl across almost the entire length of the Mall from the Capitol to the Washington Monument."
"Cap & Trade Will Destroy America"
No matter how persuasively I argued that Pennsylvania Avenue alone was physically incapable of accommodating 2 million individuals at the same time - much less 2 million people marching and waving banners and signs back and forth - an obdurate refusal to admit my point was the only response.
"Hey CNN and MSNBC: It's a Patriotic Thing, You Wouldn't Understand"
"You just didn't see them all," I was assured. "There were lots of them up by the White House and the staging areas nearby, too."
"Socialists: Spreading the Wealth Since 1917"
No, I was there all day long and I saw the whole crowd pass by on the way to the Capitol grounds for the money-shot rally.
"New Plan: I pay for my HealthCare... You Pay for Yours!"
There may well have been 100,000 people there, but not any considerable number greater than that.
"My patients deserve Quality Care, not ObamaCare"
Even more tellingly, the number of people standing around on the sidewalks, watching the marchers, was relatively negligible: I had no difficulty moving around at any time of the day to position my camera angle for improved shots.
"Oh! The Lies"
Heck, Jon Stewart's
Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, in 2010, only attracted about
215,000 participants, and anyone who was there can tell you the humanity was so thick on the Mall that it was virtually impossible to change one's location without a bullwhip, during that event.
"Trust God, Fire Congress: Right Wing Conservative Terrorist and Proud of it"
How could anyone persuade themselves that 2 million people would actually turn out to hear speeches by Dick Armey, Mike Pence, Tom Price, Jim DeMint, and Marsha Blackburn?
"Bend Over - Here Comes the Change"
Sheer madness.
"Next Time... Elect an American"
Ladies and gentlemen, I offer this humbly nostalgic skip-to-the-loo down memory lane as a public service, to steel and remind Democratic operatives nationwide just how important it is to GOTV at the polls, this November.
"We have a Constitution - Use It!!"
It doesn't matter if you think Barack Obama is a Wall Street tool, who'd betray any number of base constituencies at the drop of a hat, just to get a handful of Republican votes in the Congress on any particular issue.
"One Big Ass Mistake America"
It doesn't matter if you think Hillary Clinton is secretly having an affair with Bill Kristol, and serves weekends as a Den Mother at Skull and Bones Society camp-outs.
Lech Walesa's illegitimate child?
It doesn't matter if Andrew Cuomo makes you break out in hives.
"Freedom of Speech - Save Talk Radio and Fox!!"
It doesn't matter if Rahm Emanuel makes you spit nails dripping acid that burns holes in the carpet.
"Obama Lies and Grandma Dies"
It doesn't matter if you think Bárðarbunga is going to blow its top tomorrow and plunge the whole world into darkness, causing the election to be canceled.
"Proud Member of the Angry Mob and I Vote"
The only thing that matters is building a vibrant Democratic coalition whose victories over the coming years at the polls can push the RWNJ element in the Republican Party back into impotence. It doesn't matter if the gerrymandered maps look bleak this cycle; an orchard takes many years of tending, before a viable harvest can be taken.
"An American Icon, Not 'Idle'"
The only thing that matters is reversing the current repugnant imbalance on the US Supreme Court and securing a liberal and moderate majority there, for the futures of your children and your children's children.
"US Citizens are Sovreign [sic], not Chattel of the State"
The only thing that matters is establishing governments at every level in this country that respect the advice of scientists and not the inane ravings of fundamentalist grifters and self-interested industrial plutocrats.
"Where's the Birth Certificate?" "Disgusted"
The only thing that matters is cementing a national governance that knows war is always and only the very last resort of any nation: one willing to build international coalitions and work with any government anywhere, to secure the peace and the biosphere of this one and only easily habitable planet in the immediate stellar neighborhood.
"HealthCare Reform ... Steals from our Kids"
The only thing that matters is the future mental health of the people working in that building back there, behind that insignificant little gaggle of RWNJs.
Uncle Sam's illegitimate great-great-grandson?
People who puff themselves up and pretend that patriotism means standing ovations for anything Sarah Palin supposes.
"Oust the Marxist Usurper! ...His Czars and Thugs! Honduras Did It!"
People who celebrate military coups in Central America, and then blame the Democrats, when floods of adolescent refugees come screaming for their lives into our country to escape the deadly chaos that new regime fostered.
"Constitutional Pitbulls"
People who don't know what the hell they're talking about, and tell the most outrageously transparent lies about anything and everything to cover up their ignorance and complicity in criminal schemes.
1-2 million patriots, as seen from the South Lawn of the Capitol
GOTV, Democrats. For your children and your children's children's futures.