I'm probably ruining my rep here, as I usually have the cleanest mouth (keyboard, whatever) hereabouts. I even asterisk out the naughty words. But once in a while you run across a headline that makes you say, "What the F*ing F*?"
Woman Smuggles Gun into Jail in Her Vagina.
First of all, how did the jail get into her vagina?
But first, a word from our sponsor!
Believe it or not, this is the second vagina-extremely-detanta story I've ever run across, so some of these lines are stolen. But here goes:
Was she a member of Pussy Riot, or the Sex Pistols?
I thought the Bushmaster was a semi-automatic?
Happiness is a warm gun.
If she was pregnant, and the gun went off and injured the fetus, would conservatives be for or against?
When she asks if you want to bang, for God's sake, say no!
I'm sure somebody here can improve on these, thereby making life easy for tomorrow's Top Comments host.
On to Top Comments!
From Village Vet:
On nuclear power plants being "greener" than coal, oil, or natural gas electric plants, CharlieHipHop writes:
The grave is a million years from now.
We boil a river for 50 years, then shut the plant down and... what, pray that the pool of plutonium/einsteinium/hasntevenbeendefinedium highly radioactive shit left behind is going to be safely sequestered for the next 100,000 to a million years?
Sounds like a plan. I'm sure the mutants of the future will love that one.
From
bastrop:
This comment by FromRedtoBluein Meteor Blades' diary Another a*hole who thinks his rancid display of hate is following God's orders is a beautiful illustration of human decency and compassion in the Judeo-Christian tradition.
From
Puddytat:
THIS says it all about what religion ought to be telling us. (Note from Tara: Comment is from blue aardvark, also in Meteor Blades's diary.)
As a "semi-professional" troll hunter and spam-hater, I highly recommend aoeu's hilarious reaction to a spam diary that's written in a foreign language. Enjoy.
From
raptavio:
This is a wonderfully written statement about Former President Carter by AnacharsisClootz. I humbly nominate it for Top Comments recognition.
From
Angie in WA State:
this comment by boran2 in this diary by Hunter
In this diary about and his egregious statements about SSDI and SSI and people "faking" their disabilities, this comment was an all star standout for me
I'd suggest to Rand...
...calling Bill Frist for advice about video diagnoses.
I swear, I heard myself say bwahahahahaha when I read it!
Thanks TC Team for your hard work and dedication!
Flagged by
smileycreek:
This very first Daily Kos comment, by Feliceesq, is the kind of insightful, authoritative comment we can never read too much or too often. Please don't miss this one.
From
your humble (if antisocial) diarist:
Hunter's diary (mentioned above by Angie in WA State) had several other standout comments, both serious ones like this comment from HeyMikey, and snark like this one from ThePhlebob.
ozsea1 flagged this comment by BvueDem in Gwennedd's diary Woot! Bernie Sanders just screwed over the Republicans.
Top mojo, courtesy of mik:
1) This is the best writing hiatus ever! by kos — 218
2) Pope Francis Has Little Old Me in His Corner by Bad Cog — 181
3) No doubt... by kharma — 130
4) He charged for the service??? by navajo — 128
5) She smarter than many Republicans! by Senor Unoball — 123
6) they never seem to question that their god by terrypinder — 118
7) Heh by Dallasdoc — 117
8) I had two funerals for my husband by whoknu — 114
9) In reality, a lot of the Church's problems have to by Bob Johnson — 111
10) you forced me to learn by ksuwildkat — 105
11) You may say I'm a dreamer... by Man Oh Man — 97
12) I'll start feeling sorry for them, when they stop by The Marti — 91
13) I've always been amazed at the power of this song. by Eileen B — 85
14) Abstinence by Victim of Circumstance — 85
15) Another one recently by weezilgirl — 85
16) The standard MSM response to the crash in Church by islandchris — 83
17) Added info on Jeremy Scahill and Amy Goodman by gooderservice — 81
18) Stalking chicks in yoga pants? by FishOutofWater — 80
19) A real turdball, huh? n/t by Meteor Blades — 80
20) In Judaism by Navy Vet Terp — 79
21) Nothing is more unmanly by jayden — 78
22) Sorry forgot to say, by gchaucer2 — 78
23) Comparing her to republicans by Publius2008 — 77
24) Th Difference Between a Civilized Country and USA: by Gooserock — 76
25) Yep, she has an appreciation for infrastructure, by bleeding blue — 75
26) How can I avoid living near Ron Lieber? n/t by Trix — 74
27) Something snapped in this country on 9/11/01 by RFK Lives — 74
28) Wow by gchaucer2 — 72
29) It's great to hear someone by Save the Mitten — 72
30) I hope some day you'll join us... by elwior — 72
Picture quilt, courtesy of jotter: