I wrote this diary and kept it as a draft for a while. I've been watching the PBS series, The Italian Americans and thought about my grandparents. A lot of their experiences are confirmed by this documentary. I've written a series of diaries about good cheap food mainly from my grandmother's recipes. She was an Italian immigrant and a superb cook. But she was also a remarkably tough woman with a lot of obstacles to overcome. I looked to her for inspiration and as an example of how to keep going when life gets difficult.
I wrote this diary and kept it as a draft for a while. It was so old, it wouldn't publish. I had to cut and paste it into a new diary. I've been watching the PBS series, The Italian Americans and thought about my grandparents. A lot of their experiences are confirmed by this documentary. I've written a series of diaries about good cheap food mainly from my grandmother's recipes. She was an Italian immigrant and a superb cook. But she was also a remarkably tough woman with a lot of obstacles to overcome. I looked to her for inspiration and as an example of how to keep going when life gets difficult.
My grandmother came to this country when she was about four years old with her parents. Her father had landed at Ellis Island before but was sent back because he did not have the requist amount of cash on hand to stay. He was so ashamed he did not go back to his home but stayed in Naples working for a while. They tried again, landed at Ellis Island, went to WV somewhere near Morgantown but didn't like it. Somehow he traveled the the Iron Range in Minnesota and settled northern Minnesota. That's where my grandmother was raised.
My grandmother was the only child of her mother's second marriage. Her mother was widowed with 6 children. My great grandmother came from the upper class and could do needlework and that was about it as far as work was concerned. From all accounts, she was beautiful but not a nice person to put it mildly. My great grandfather was 10 years younger and a peasant farmer and this was his only marriage. My great grandmother always told my grandmother that she had her to take care of her. And that my grandmother did.
My great grandfather raised produce on vacant land in the area and had a boarding house. My grandmother was taken out of school in the third grade so she could clean and cook for the residents of the boarding house. My grandmother repeated told a story of how all the Italian kids were lined up in front of the classroom by one teacher and hit - just for being Italian. Some how, my grandmother could read a little.
Her mother was abusive. By the time she was 14 or 15, she was removed from the house because she was beaten by her mother. She was placed in a home of someone wealthy who needed childcare and household help. Her half sister arranged a marriage with a man 15 years my grandmother's senior and at 15 years old my grandmother was married and living near Chicago.
The marriage did not go well. My biological grandfather was a real SOB. He beat her, played around and kept her very short of funds. She had three children in three years. She tried to leave but her mother wouldn't let her come home and in the early 1920's, where did young mothers go?
The last straw was my biological grandfather tried to ship her and her children back to Italy so that it would be cheaper to keep them and he could be much freer to play around with his girlfriends. My grandmother was clever and intelligent and resourceful. He gave her money for clothes for the kids and train and boat tickets. She cashed in the tickets and took the money, the kids and ran. She hid out for a year in Washington state with a relative. Finally her mother let her return to northern Minnesota and she divorced the SOB. I read a copy of the divorce decree. She had to say it was all her fault but she had her divorce and custody of her kids. Her ex threatened to kidnap the kids so my grandmother paid an older boy in the neighborhood to be a body guard and her kids were not allowed any where alone. The SOB finally went back to Italy. My mother remembers being fearful of men in suits because she thought that's what kidnappers looked like.
(In the early 60's, my grandmother and her second husband went back to Italy and she encountered the SOB. He said he had a pain in his heart for her. She asked if he wanted to know where she had a pain for him and it wasn't her heart. When my mother went to Italy with my dad a few years after my grandmother, he insisted she see her father. My mother wanted nothing to do with her biological father but my dad won that argument. Her father did not acknowledge her as his daughter. He introduced her as his friend from America.)
My grandmother took care of her parents and her kids. I don't know all the details of how she made it through the Depression but she did remarry around 1932-33 to a 40 year old bachelor who fell in love with her or her cooking. Her second husband is the man my mother considered her father and we considered our grandfather. My mother said they had a nice house, nice clothes and plenty of food. My mother spent the summer picking wild berries and washing canning jars. My grandmother canned everything her father grew that he didn't sell plus all the fruit her children picked all summer. She made all her own bread and other baked goods. The man I knew as my grandfather worked with my great grandfather and they made bootleg wine on the side. My grandfather was also a great card player and so supplemented the family income with his winnings.
She moved her family to Detroit around 1940 because the opportunities were better. She and my grandfather as well as my mother and aunt all worked in the factories during the war. They bought a house and paid it off quickly. My grandmother had one pair of shoes she wore for three years rather than buy news ones just to pay off the mortgage faster. My grandmother won an award for most rivets in a plane in a day. She would have been in her mid forties then. Did I mention she was about 4'11" and over 300 pounds? I would have loved to see her coveralls.
She kept an immaculate home even into her old age. She was a beautiful knitter, crocheted, embroidered and did cut work. She sold her handiwork and had a home made sausage business on the side. She used to sell about 100 pounds a week. She also took orders for cannoli for showers and weddings. She had incredible energy and drive.
My dad used to say that if my grandmother had had an education, she would have been dangerous. She could stretch a dollar like no one I know. She didn't like eating in restaurants because it didn't taste as good as she as her cooking. That was very true. She loved life and liked to have fun. She was the lHfe of the party.
I really don't know what makes a person come out of hardship with such a positive attitude and a strong drive to keep going. She had her faults and she was kind of high maintenance sometimes but I thought she was a terrific role model for a budding feminist like me. I wonder if I could have done what she did without an education, no money or help. She made quite a life for herself and her family.