For some reason, this feature story in the Daily Currant from December 12 of last year, did not get picked up by the mainstream media. As a humble purveyor of positive progressive principles I felt a responsibility to give people a heads up.
A council of Native American leaders has offered partial amnesty to the estimated 220 million illegal white immigrants living in the United States.
At a meeting of the Native Peoples Council (NPC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico yesterday, Native American leaders considered several proposals on the future of this continent's large, unauthorized European population. The elders ultimately decided to extend a pathway to citizenship for those without criminal backgrounds.
This act of magnanimity and forgiveness also offers a shot at redemption and is sure to soften the hearts of even the most angry white residents of America.
"We are prepared to offer White people the option of staying on this continent legally and applying for citizenship," explains Chief Wamsutta of the Wampanoag nation. "In return, they must pay any outstanding taxes and give back the land stolen from our ancestors.
Although this is very good news, the back taxes and stolen lands thing might be a deal breaker. And there is a deadline coming up that will undoubtedly create consternation among fans of Justin Bieber and Rush Limbaugh.
"Any white person with a criminal record, however, will be deported in the next 90 days back to their ancestral homeland. Rush Limbaugh will be going to Germany. Justin Bieber will depart for Canada. And the entire cast of Jersey Shore will be returning to Italy."
Do Justin and Rush know about this? Since this decree was issued about 73 days ago it would appear they don't have much time left to pack.
Stay currant, my friends!