Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)
Sen. Rand Paul formally announced his long-obvious run for president at the Galt House Hotel (yes, really) on Tuesday, and it was ... interesting. Paul was preceded by a series of introductions that worked energetically to package him as the Republican who can attract young and black voters, before he came on to give a speech that is, on the page,
resoundingly vapid. Take this:
Some people asked me, then why are you running? The answer is the same now as it was then. I have a vision for America. I want to be part of a return to prosperity, a true economic boom that lists all Americans, a return to a government restrained by the Constitution.
Or take the long anecdote about doing eye surgery in Guatemala, or the one—already previewed in an introductory video—about his grandmother's failing sight motivating him to become an ophthalmologist. Or, dear God, take this:
America and freedom are so intertwined that people literally are dying to come here. The freedom we have fostered in America have unleashed genius and advancement like never before. Yet our great nation still needs new ideas and new answers to old problems.
I'm not saying Paul didn't name some shameful or purely stupid policies he supports, like school privatization (by another name), the tired Republican claim that the U.S. can bring in more revenue by lowering taxes, and a long take on how he would be so original and clever as to force members of Congress to read every bill passed, an idea no one ever thought of before now. But he kept coming back to those vapid attempts at a soaring, optimistic, visionary tone:
I see our big cities once again shining and beckoning with creativity and ingenuity, with American companies offering American jobs. With your help, this message will ring from coast to coast, a message of liberty, justice and personal responsibility. Today begins the journey to take America back.
Here's the problem with that: Paul's delivery was so sour it was as if he was sucking on a deeply bitter cough drop while trying, with limited success, to wipe a condescending sneer off his face.