According to RAINN, 1 in 33 men have been on the receiving end of attempted or completed rape. I will grant you that it’s a lower number than women, but it’s still rape. So why do mainstream and popular shows like Saturday Night Live still treat male rape (because it’s rape even when it’s statutory) as a funny joke?
I’ve watched Saturday Night Live for my whole life. I watch the debates of which cast was better with amusement, but I don’t participate, because as a long-time viewer, I know each and every SNL has its dogs and it’s good sketches. Even the best seasons or best episodes do.
Also, I’m using SNL as a jump off point. They are not the only program, comedy or otherwise, who seems to find the idea of male rape something to laugh about, and sadly won’t be the last.
The skit’s set up is really the beast of the scorn that many male rape victims face when it comes to talking about this subject. It was a young teenage boy testifying at his sexy female teacher’s trial while his mother cries. (I link reluctantly, but in the interest of communicating to those who didn’t see it, there it is. I warn you, though, it’s not only bad for reasons I’m enumerating, but it is worse because it does so badly and it is boring.)
First of all, teenage boy. That’s younger than the age of consent, and mad libido or not, the reason we have an age of consent isn’t for officious ninnies to keep teen boys from scoring, it’s to keep young men from falling victim to a situation they are not mature enough to process.
Secondly, hot woman. Women who have experienced rape know this old canard too well: he’s so hot/rich/popular, why would he need to force himself on you? This is one situation that women have had a difficult time collectively deleting from popular culture, so I’m not surprised to see men haven’t either, but suffice it to say, rape is abuse. It’s a specific kind of abuse, often a power imbalance, and in particular, a teacher/student relationship that at that age is inarguable.
When it comes to statutory rape, the law is written to protect young people who do not have the life experience to comprehend the current or future effect that sex will have on them or their lives. This all comes at a time when Mary Kay Latourneau, child rapist, wants to get her name off the sex-offender register and go back to teaching. Sure, she married the boy she took advantage of, but they got married, right? It was all just romance!
But in Fualaau’s own words about their daughters: ”When you’re that young a relationship can lead to something you think you wanted back then, but not years later,” Fualaau said. “Don’t put your all into something when it’s just temporary.”
There is also this false notion that women can’t rape men. Something about how men have to have erections and are therefore turned on and can’t rape. Look, bodies do funky things. Most people with a penis will tell you that there are a long list of reasons why a man might pop a boner that have nothing to do with being turned on. Including the fear boner.
Women aren’t immune to this either. Their bodies can react in ways their minds don’t agree with in the commision of a rape. This doesn’t mean she was loving it. It means our bodies are attuned to procreation and stimuli that are more complex than we want to give it credit for.
Lastly, the “punchline” of the skit was that when testifying to his own rape, the young man related that his friends all gave him highfives. That he was carried around the school like a hero. Then the judge fist bumped him. You know, because he got some, apparently.
Isn’t this always the punchline when it comes to male rape? “You got sex, stop complaining.” It’s outrageous to say, outrageous that anyone would react that way, and hurtful to survivors who just got to witness pop culture again negate their reality.
The only person reacting reasonably to the whole situation is the mother of the young man, crying in the back of the courtroom because LOL parents who care about their children. LOL anyone caring about teen boys having sex in situations they don’t understand. LOL just walk it off, young men, we don’t care you’re four times more likely to contemplate suicide and 26 times more likely to abuse drugs. It’s funny!
And look, humor is subjective. I rarely try to apply the prism of politics on jokes, but even as a joke, it fails because it’s super hack at this point. Everyone’s made this joke. Twice. Some late night hosts might make this joke several times in one night. So on top of this skit being horrifying, it was boring. I kept waiting for some new, interesting twist that might make it fresh and new, but fist bump? Yawn.